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girl and I both really like each other but she doesnt want to lose her friends Watch

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    Basically this girl just moved here and started hanging out with me and my friends. From the moment we first met we had a strong connection and it's been obvious that we like each other but for some reason she's been holding back. Last night she told my friend that she likes me but doesn't want to do anything with me because she just got this friendship group and doesn't want to lose it.

    i think I'm going to speak to her when we go to a concert we are going to alone but I don't really know what I can say to convince her take a chance. I just think it's dumb when we both clearly have a strong attraction to each other.

    Is there anything I can do it should I just give up?*
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    Are you by any chance gay
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you by any chance gay
    it's times like these I wish we could still give negative ratings to people who post unhepful, unfunny and dumb *****
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you by any chance gay
    Is this a reference to the girl's crush getting a gf thread?
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    Are you familiar with the song 'Skater Boy' by Avril Lavigne? That song will pretty much summarise what happens when you let your friends dictate who you have relationships with.

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    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Are you familiar with the song 'Skater Boy' by Avril Lavigne? That song will pretty much summarise what happens when you let your friends dictate who you have relationships with.

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    Haha I am familiar with the song. However it's not that friends disapprove, it's that she's thinking if we start seeing each other and things don't work out then she will lose her new friends (since they were my friends first).*
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    (Original post by VladThe1mpaler)
    she just got this friendship group and doesn't want to lose it
    To which you tell her that's ok, we can take things slow. Then hang out, have fun together, pick a faintly romantic moment, and hit her with passion like a ton of bricks. #Winning
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    To which you tell her that's ok, we can take things slow. Then hang out, have fun together, pick a faintly romantic moment, and hit her with passion like a ton of bricks. #Winning
    So should I even talk to her about it?Should I actually say something like "my friend told me what you said and I totally get where you're coming from. But I think there is something between us as more than friends. Let's just take things slow etc. etc." Or should I just wait things out? I just kind of feel the longer I leave it unsaid the more she will begins just see me as a friend. I don't really know what to say. I'm seeing her after uni classes today and was thinking of saying something because I feel like I can't wait until Sunday to say something.
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    (Original post by VladThe1mpaler)
    Should I actually say something like "my friend told me what you said and I totally get where you're coming from
    I wouldn't necessarily tell her that your mutual friend told you. I'd just advance things as if you'd never heard a thing but be ready with a line like the one I gave you should she protest

    should I just wait things out?
    Never a good idea, unless you're a total boss/completely happy playing the long game, and potentially drawing a blank

    I just kind of feel the longer I leave it unsaid the more she will begins just see me as a friend
    Correct assessment, albeit that this does not mean you rush anything. Always keep your approach silky smooth :top2:

    I feel like I can't wait until Sunday to say something
    Take a deep breath. This girl's not going anywhere. You have the start of a fine connection, remember that, she's a cutey but she's just another human being. You have a lot to offer too, so never put pussy on a pedestal, ok. Stay frosty, and good luck!
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I wouldn't necessarily tell her that your mutual friend told you. I'd just advance things as if you'd never heard a thing but be ready with a line like the one I gave you should she protest

    Never a good idea, unless you're a total boss/completely happy playing the long game, and potentially drawing a blank

    Correct assessment, albeit that this does not mean you rush anything. Always keep your approach silky smooth :top2:

    Take a deep breath. This girl's not going anywhere. You have the start of a fine connection, remember that, she's a cutey but she's just another human being. You have a lot to offer too, so never put pussy on a pedestal, ok. Stay frosty, and good luck!
    ok cool, thanks a lot for the advice

    she did say when we all had a drunk discussion about relationships that its always better being a friend first so i think the "take it slow" thing will go down well with her.

    Is spending too much time together an issue? We have been spending a lot of time together since we've been going out as a group almost every night and i see her at uni/have been out just the two of us a couple of times. But she is basically in constant communication with me, messaging me 20 mins after we just saw each other and almost all throughout the day etc. so i think that's a good sign.
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    (Original post by VladThe1mpaler)
    ok cool, thanks a lot for the advice
    At your service, TSR :top2:

    always better being a friend first so i think the "take it slow" thing will go down well with her
    You can certainly quote that back to her, and mirror the sentiment if you feel the same way (always be congruent/authentic)

    Is spending too much time together an issue?
    Totally depends on the trend and general trajectory of your interrelating and cultivation of attraction

    messaging me 20 mins after we just saw each other and almost all throughout the day etc. so i think that's a good sign
    Me too, albeit that you would do well to start to steer things a bit e.g. into a flirty/sexual frame (without coming off as overly cocky/douchey), Related thread: Nice guys finish last..
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    Tell her you want her and you don't care about the consequences.
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    Anything you say will act against you.

    Do. Not. Say. Anything
 
 
 
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