I started talking to a guy about a year ago, he was 4 years older than me but he was a really nice person. We had alot ij common and became friends quite quickly and would talk as often as everyday. It wasn't until a week ago he started saying that i reminded him of his ex and started pointing our similarities he then shut me out without an explanation and i don't know what to do, all i know is that I'm heartbroken because we had gotten close....
- Thread Starter
- 12-09-2016 16:15
- 12-09-2016 16:19
the best way to overcome this is by regaining your social confidence, if you have friends you should talk to them, if they're not understanding of how you're feeling then you have to leave them too...
- 12-09-2016 17:49
- 12-09-2016 18:13
it's not your fault. he probably has bad experiences with his ex and if he says you remind him of his ex, he may be afraid to revisit those memories. only way to work through it is to talk it out with him. i must say though, it requires effort on his part to move on and the onus is on him to deal with his emotional issues. it's not your fault. you are uniquely you and his ex is just that - his ex. just because his previous relationship didn't work out doesn't mean yours wouldn't. so if the relationship means a lot to you then maybe do try to talk it out. if he needs some space, let him have a break to confront his emotions before discussing it.
that being said, do take care of yourself first and foremost. you can be a supportive friend, but please don't feel emotionally inclined/burdened to "fix him". if he is able to move past it then great. if he can't, and you feel like you're never secure in the relationship or your relationship feels emotionally draining/abusive, then break up and move on. you don't want a relationship with emotional issues - it is draining. take care of yourself.
if you can get a sit-down, perhaps ask him why he distanced himself, is there anything you can do to help, and reassure him that you're you, and you care for him.
just remember most importantly: take care of yourself. you can still help him as a friend and from a distance. you don't have to be his girlfriend to care for and help him. a little time and space is healthy for now. and if he sorts his emotions out, you can think about proceeding further.
Posted from TSR Mobile
- 12-09-2016 18:24
just to add a last point, if he doesn't respond to you after a while, then just leave him alone and let it be. he may reach out to you after some time, he may not. either way, you have to move on with your life. go out, make friends, do things you love and continue living. you can't worry about him forever when he was the one who decided to let you go.
if he does reach out to you in the future, then you need to think hard and conside if revisiting the relationship is something you want AND whether it's good for you. if you have already moved on, just let him down politely. don't feel obliged or anything.
the world is full of lovely people. i hope you'll meet lots of them. all the best.
Posted from TSR Mobile