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Think me n my bf are breaking up.

I can't stop crying right now. I really don't wanna lose him, I love him so so much. We been together nearly 2 years. We're meant to be going on holiday in October.

Because I have trust issues and am quite insecure, i guess things arent how they used to be anymore.

I'm seeing a counsellor to help me but I still find it hard. Have only seen her 3 times though. Surely we can work through these things. People who cheat and their partners find out, they come through it and dont break up.

Our sprak cant be lost forever. What can we do to get it back? I'm not gonna question him or get moody when he goes out with mates anymore.

I just don't wanna lose him. He means everything to me.

Help. :frown:

Reply 1

Dragon24

17

Has he cheated on you? Just bite your tongue when your with him and avoid questioning him as this will drive him away. Someone who didn't have a social life outside of me could become very boring! Continue going to the counsellor as this will help talking about your feelings. He is with you which must mean he doesn't want to go anywhere :smile:

All relationships will have doubts but its whether acting on paranoia will make it worse. Just think change you behaviour and you will still be together and go on holiday in October :smile:

Reply 2

sparkle86

11

No he's never cheated on me I just find it hard to trust. He said he loves me (got to be a good sign right?) and he's talking to me on msn soon. I think my paranoia and untrust in him has ruined us. I hope not cos I do still love him so so much and really don't wanna lose him.

He's perfect to me. Never once questioned me or anything. And he's always been honest with me when he's been out etc etc.

I'm a total idiot and now I think it's gone forever. :frown:

Reply 3

kidintheriot

1

Have the counselling sessions reassured you at all so far? Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy; if you can get over your trust issue I'm sure things will improve and by going to see someone you've taken a really positive step. :biggrin:

I'd advise continuing to see the counsellor and maybe talking things through a bit with your boyfriend - make sure he knows that you love him and you want to lose your paranoia. :smile:

Reply 4

idiot

1

You forgot to make that last post anonymous. In my case, your username is off my screen as I type this and I've already forgotten who you are, but if there's somebody out there you want to hide this from...

Reply 5

Anannya

8

Calm down

. Tell him that you have been going through a rough period in your life and that you love him way too much to not be thinking about stupid things. Let him know that from now on such things won't happen because you have realised your mistake and you really want to rectify it. Explain to him that means a lot to you and this paranoia was just a bad phase in your life that you are trying to control and never let it resurface. I know that sometimes when you care too much, you start having all sorts of strange thoughts in your head. If you haven't found clear cut signs that he has cheated on you then it isn't wise to even bring that subject up! It might ruin things further. Tell him to give you some time like a month or so, so that he can see that you don't have weird thoughts, if he is suggesting a break-up. If he truly cares, I am sure he will understand your sentiments :smile:

.

Reply 6

Dragon24

17

Yeah, of course he loves you! Go out for a nice meal and the spark should still be there if you don't act clingy!

Reply 7

Vesta

18

Who's ending it? Him or you?

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I was in an identical position with my girlfriend (her in your boots). Tell him what you're telling us, be open and honest, especially if you think it is your issue rather than anything prompted by his behaviour. You seem like a good person, so I'm sure he won't want to lose you either.

Reply 9

winniethepooh88

I think you just need to talk to him. Has he made any indication that is going to break up with you?

Reply 10

sparkle86

11

No it's over! :frown:

I can't stop crying. We spoke last night and he was crying and saying i'm so sorry i don't wanna hurt you but i don't have a choice. I can't do this anymore. He said i've given you so many chances but I never realised how bad things were, I never realised how bad he was feeling cos he doesn't talk about his feelings. He said I should of known but I didn't.

He said I can't do it anymore. So that's it. The pain im going through right now is unbearable. We were meant to be going on holiday in 2 months time and now that's over. I'm distraught. I don't care about not being anon. I just want him back.

Reply 11

ßlαcksωαn

17

Cheating is unacceptable.

Reply 12

sparkle86

11

neither of us cheated on each other

Reply 13

silverbolt

19

OP i am assuming this but having known people of great insecurity im guessing that your boyfriend has had two years of groundless accusations of cheating and constantly trying to carry you along and i can honestly say i dont blame him. Its an aweful resposibility (and i speak from experiance here) and one that no one should really ahve to bear. It is not up to him to support you.

OP im not going to give you false hope in saying "if you talk to him it will alight" Because if hes made up his ind that he cannot be int her relationship anymore then thats his choice.

My advice would be to use this. you say your getting consuelling then congratulations on that. Use this failed relationship as a driving point to make sure the next (and there will be a next one) one doesnt go the same way. Use it to give you strength to carry one.

As to getting over this one, im afraid the only healer there is time. And it may be a slow medicine but it does work

Reply 14

sparkle86

11

This is so unbearable. The pain is awful. He's sorted out the holiday. I'm getting most of the money back.

I'm still so upset. It's the worst feeling in the world.

Reply 15

Sarky

18

sparkle86

This is so unbearable. The pain is awful. He's sorted out the holiday. I'm getting most of the money back.

I'm still so upset. It's the worst feeling in the world.

It will get better in time although i know that is easy to say. I had to loose my boyf in order to grow up and become less dependent on him. I was also insecure and paranoid and it isn't easy being with someone who constantly needs reassurance.

If this makes you face up to things and then it is possibly a good thing. You are in a much better position to change if you are doing it for yourself. My boyfriend and i got back together, but i never thought we would, and i got better for me. If i had been hoping we got back together it may have altered how i recovered.

Good luck, and you can pm me if you need advice.