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    A few days ago, I found out that my (now ex) boyfriend was cheating on me. We managed to stay together for 3 years, which is quite a long time, compared to couples our age, who break up after a couple of months.

    It just hurts, because he was one of the only people I could rely on, and I can genuinely say that I had never loved anyone as much as I loved him. He came into my life at a time that I wasn't even looking for love; it was as if it was fate and I really did believe that he was the one for me He was always motivating me to do well in exams, and understood that I sometimes needed the time and space to concentrate on studies. He helped keep me calm when I had to go for my first ever operation a year ago, when I was so scared. We enjoy the same hobbies together. And he was always so helpful, respectful and kind to me. My parents are so fond of him, because he is so polite to them. I was so proud to introduce him to them.

    i'm just so upset right now, because I have loved this boy, and still do, for 3 years, and I genuinely believed that we could have even gotten married in the future :'( it was going so well, and I wasn't expecting it to end like this. He meant so much to me, and I thought I did to him. What's worse is that I found out on my own birthday, and through social media - not him.

    I can't concentrate much in class anymore, so I really need to get over this, but just don't know how. He was my first boyfriend, so I've never had this happen to me before, what can I do?
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    That's terrible! I'm sorry that happened to you.

    Try activities with yourself, or your friends that excite you. Remember what being single is like, because it actually lets you have a lot of freedom. I know you probably had a wonderful time with your boyfriend, but you have to move on as you've said. So just try things that make you so happy you forget about what you don't have. It can be rough in class when you can space out, but if you make sure you have a fast-paced after school life (not getting into trouble, mind) you won't have the time to dwell on the past.

    Did you ever talk to him after you found out about him cheating? Did you ask him why he did it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few days ago, I found out that my (now ex) boyfriend was cheating on me. We managed to stay together for 3 years, which is quite a long time, compared to couples our age, who break up after a couple of months.

    It just hurts, because he was one of the only people I could rely on, and I can genuinely say that I had never loved anyone as much as I loved him. He came into my life at a time that I wasn't even looking for love; it was as if it was fate and I really did believe that he was the one for me He was always motivating me to do well in exams, and understood that I sometimes needed the time and space to concentrate on studies. He helped keep me calm when I had to go for my first ever operation a year ago, when I was so scared. We enjoy the same hobbies together. And he was always so helpful, respectful and kind to me. My parents are so fond of him, because he is so polite to them. I was so proud to introduce him to them.

    i'm just so upset right now, because I have loved this boy, and still do, for 3 years, and I genuinely believed that we could have even gotten married in the future :'( it was going so well, and I wasn't expecting it to end like this. He meant so much to me, and I thought I did to him. What's worse is that I found out on my own birthday, and through social media - not him.

    I can't concentrate much in class anymore, so I really need to get over this, but just don't know how. He was my first boyfriend, so I've never had this happen to me before, what can I do?
    Its a bit like a bereavement, so you need to go through the process and realise it takes time.

    Appreciate the fact you got a lot out of it, but it ran its course as most relationships do. Dont forget for him he deicded it was wortwhile to cheat on you, so at least in recent times he wasnt bothered about you, but just himself.

    Feel free to be sad for a few weeks, but then you have to get on with things.

    Delete him from all social media as well as phone numbers and e-mail. If you wnat to recover faster then zero contact is best. If you resume contact you go back to the beginning. Font stalk him either.

    Have confidence that there are better relationships out there and you found one, so you have a great chance of finding several more. Keep busy and enjoy being single. It will get better over time 3,6,12 months.
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    I've not been in this situation myself so I'm perhaps not the best to give advice, but don't force yourself to get over it so quickly. You're hurt, and it's okay to admit that - anybody can understand why. Find a friend with whom you can discuss your feelings in depth, because just telling someone all of it will usually alleviate some of the pain. Don't internalise something like this.

    You said "He was my first boyfriend" - he won't be your last. Keep in mind that there will be more opportunities in the future, and love isn't a one-time-only thing like movies would have you believe. Give yourself all the time you need to get past this breakup.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Athena64)
    That's terrible! I'm sorry that happened to you.

    Try activities with yourself, or your friends that excite you. Remember what being single is like, because it actually lets you have a lot of freedom. I know you probably had a wonderful time with your boyfriend, but you have to move on as you've said. So just try things that make you so happy you forget about what you don't have. It can be rough in class when you can space out, but if you make sure you have a fast-paced after school life (not getting into trouble, mind) you won't have the time to dwell on the past.

    Did you ever talk to him after you found out about him cheating? Did you ask him why he did it?
    He used the 'I was drunk' excuse, because it all began when he attended a party at her house and didn't return to his house until the next morning
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Its a bit like a bereavement, so you need to go through the process and realise it takes time.

    Appreciate the fact you got a lot out of it, but it ran its course as most relationships do. Dont forget for him he deicded it was wortwhile to cheat on you, so at least in recent times he wasnt bothered about you, but just himself.

    Feel free to be sad for a few weeks, but then you have to get on with things.

    Delete him from all social media as well as phone numbers and e-mail. If you wnat to recover faster then zero contact is best. If you resume contact you go back to the beginning. Font stalk him either.

    Have confidence that there are better relationships out there and you found one, so you have a great chance of finding several more. Keep busy and enjoy being single. It will get better over time 3,6,12 months.
    See that's the thing, I really don't want to have to cut off contact, but I know I'll be hurt if I don't. I really don't know what to do
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    rebound, the road the forgiveness is through revenge
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See that's the thing, I really don't want to have to cut off contact, but I know I'll be hurt if I don't. I really don't know what to do
    Well try staying in contact and he will always remind you of it. If hes cheated once he will do it again. Talk to him again in a years time when you are more yourself.

    You asked for advice and I told you the quickest and least painful way to recover. At this point you should look after yourself.
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    It's tough when you stop being in a relationship with someone who's been in your life so long. It's only when they're gone that you realise how many little parts of your day were taken up by them, there's no cure for how to get over him instantly, if such a thing existed, heartbreak wouldn't exist. Honestly it is something you will eventually get over/ be numb to over time, it could be weeks or months, different for each person. An important thing you need to think about here though is he wasn't happy in your relationship. He cheated on you. You may have felt the relationship was fulfilling and amazing and you could see your entire future before your eyes with him but he (most likely) didn't. It's your first boyfriend and you won't necessarily realise this now, but there plenty of (better) fish in the sea, you'll find them. This one guy isn't the be all and end all, there will be guys after him. They won't be exactly like him, but they'll be great in their own ways and hopefully loyal to you as well. If you feel the need to cry now, do it, if you wanna sit on your bed and stare into space, do it (up to a point). let yourself feel hurt it's okay, see your relationship as a learning curve and an experience which you can now use to mature from. You existed many many years perfectly fine before this guy came along, and you will exist many more without him as well. You don't need him, it was just nice having him around, that's it. And remember, he wasn't as satisfied in your relationship as you, otherwise he wouldn't have cheated. Would you really want to continue to be in a relationship with someone who's heart isn't in it anyway?
 
 
 
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