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    I was happy when I knew I got a boyfriend, a person who will care and love me as I want to do the same for him.

    My boyfriend is my sister's brother-in-law.
    Once, during my sister's wedding my boyfriend and I expressed our love to each other and so things were going good.
    After everyone had left the wedding, his family sat down to eat with him.
    I saw them through a mirror on the pillars reflecting them behind me.
    I could understand his mother asking him whether he loved someone.
    At first he felt shy but then agreed that he did have a gf.

    As days went when my family visited his family, his mother asked me my educational qualifications and work experience. At that moment I was 18 and changed two jobs since I hated auditing (traveling alone to distant places) and then the accounts manager job in the sales department. I did not feel secure but now I'm in a job i feel is fun and secure. I had told her that.

    Once his mother and my bf visited our house after asking my sisters their educational qualifications and work experience she asked me. My sisters stayed in the same job for nearly 3 years whereas I had changed the job as a single individual due to insecure and uncomfortable feelings as a girl. His mom worried me by saying sarcastically, "What are you studying? Will you be changing this job also?" When she asked this my bf was sitting in front of us. That time I had done only the diploma in airline and management accounting, acca where my bf has completed a degree in medicine. I see the fact the mother is pointing and that is why I am studying my degree now and now stayed in the same place for 1 year and a month. I will continue to stay in the same job. I felt worried thinking that my bf will leave me with his mom once i was unable to say i just did a diploma where he has done a degree.

    His mother never lets us to see and communicate with each other. He finds it difficult and tries his best to get through her to see me.

    Once we visited their house. My sister went upstairs to call her husband down. At that time I heard my bf calling his mom. When i heard it's him i got up to go and see him as i was worried and didn't see him for a long time.(I actually wanted to jump or hug him tightly as i knew he felt the same) His mother said it's not him as i got up. i knew she was lying as i heard the voice of my worried question faced bf looking at his mother. She even didn't let him visit me for my nephew's birthday. He had asked her hard but she purposely said she damaged her toe (which is already damaged) and took her family to the hospital. Their house was very close by.

    I'm doing a degree and staying in the same workplace. My mother tells me to marry my blood cousin and I said no to it. My eldest sister (not my sister at my bf family) also tells me to marry the cousin. I totally detest this and feel frustrated. I want to marry my bf and he does,too. Please support me to get through this.
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    Your BF has a medical degree but still lives at home and is controlled by his mother to the point where he has to hide in his own house when you visit? How well do you really know him? Do you communicate online, or phone each other? Is there no way that you two can meet somewhere away from home?

    It sounds like you both have a choice - marry who you want or follow your family wishes. If you really love each other and know each other then IMHO you should get together, but be prepared for an angry reaction. You are legally both old enough to do what you choose, and it sounds like you have the maturity to make the right decision for you.It just might not be easy. Giving in and marrying your cousin is likely to be a very bad idea for you both. The first thing your BF needs to do is get away from his mother. He should be able to rent somewhere and start living the life he wants. If he won't leave his mother, you will be marrying her as well as him.

    I hope it works out for you.
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    (Original post by Lit teacher)
    Your BF has a medical degree but still lives at home and is controlled by his mother to the point where he has to hide in his own house when you visit? How well do you really know him? Do you communicate online, or phone each other? Is there no way that you two can meet somewhere away from home?

    It sounds like you both have a choice - marry who you want or follow your family wishes. If you really love each other and know each other then IMHO you should get together, but be prepared for an angry reaction. You are legally both old enough to do what you choose, and it sounds like you have the maturity to make the right decision for you.It just might not be easy. Giving in and marrying your cousin is likely to be a very bad idea for you both. The first thing your BF needs to do is get away from his mother. He should be able to rent somewhere and start living the life he wants. If he won't leave his mother, you will be marrying her as well as him.

    I hope it works out for you.
    Hey, thanks a lot for caring.
    I agree to what you say honestly.
    His plan is to finish of the doctor license exam and get job.
    Once he earns he can move out of that house and will be independent. Till he works out I work out myself getting a degree so his mother and father and granpa will be satisfied. Then, i will have no problem of them and will never bother about them even if they interfere anymore. This is all because I feel his mother wants her son to get married to the degree and not to a girl! On another hand, i don't want ppl saying he has married a girl who has learnt lower to him and make him upset. What's wrong in learning the degree is what i thought. it's all for our good.
    we meet in person if he visits our house, once in a blue moon he gets a chance which he uses to see me. i don't feel comfortable when his bro (my sister's hubby) is with him or either their parents because they also see for my education. I'm sure once he gets his job he will leave them to settle in his own.

    I'm sure he won't leave and i won't, too. I tell this with a reason. :yep:

    Cheers
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    (Original post by Sena5)
    Hey, thanks a lot for caring.
    I agree to what you say honestly.
    His plan is to finish of the doctor license exam and get job.
    Once he earns he can move out of that house and will be independent. Till he works out I work out myself getting a degree so his mother and father and granpa will be satisfied. Then, i will have no problem of them and will never bother about them even if they interfere anymore. This is all because I feel his mother wants her son to get married to the degree and not to a girl! On another hand, i don't want ppl saying he has married a girl who has learnt lower to him and make him upset. What's wrong in learning the degree is what i thought. it's all for our good.
    we meet in person if he visits our house, once in a blue moon he gets a chance which he uses to see me. i don't feel comfortable when his bro (my sister's hubby) is with him or either their parents because they also see for my education. I'm sure once he gets his job he will leave them to settle in his own.

    I'm sure he won't leave and i won't, too. I tell this with a reason. :yep:

    Cheers
    The in-laws never like you from what I've seen


    As long as you're happy and he's happy that's what matters in the relationship.

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    Your boyfriend needs to man up. If this is him now imagine what it will be like after you are married. I imagine you'll be moving in with your in-laws as it sounds like your sister lives with them. Imagine that scenario, you stuck in a cramped house living with a nightmare mother in law and a husband who seems too cowardly to stand up to her. Tell him to man up, I strongly suggest you don't say yes to marriage unless he's willing to move out!
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    (Original post by Sena5)
    I was happy when I knew I got a boyfriend, a person who will care and love me as I want to do the same for him.
    My boyfriend is my sister's brother-in-law.
    Once, during my sister's wedding my boyfriend and I expressed our love to each other and so things were going good.
    After everyone had left the wedding, his family sat down to eat with him.
    I saw them through a mirror on the pillars reflecting them behind me.
    I could understand his mother asking him whether he loved someone.
    At first he felt shy but then agreed that he did have a gf.

    As days went when my family visited his family, his mother asked me my educational qualifications and work experience. At that moment I was 18 and changed two jobs since I hated auditing (traveling alone to distant places) and then the accounts manager job in the sales department. I did not feel secure but now I'm in a job i feel is fun and secure. I had told her that.

    Once his mother and my bf visited our house after asking my sisters their educational qualifications and work experience she asked me. My sisters stayed in the same job for nearly 3 years whereas I had changed the job as a single individual due to insecure and uncomfortable feelings as a girl. His mom worried me by saying sarcastically, "What are you studying? Will you be changing this job also?" When she asked this my bf was sitting in front of us. That time I had done only the diploma in airline and management accounting, acca where my bf has completed a degree in medicine. I see the fact the mother is pointing and that is why I am studying my degree now and now stayed in the same place for 1 year and a month. I will continue to stay in the same job. I felt worried thinking that my bf will leave me with his mom once i was unable to say i just did a diploma where he has done a degree.

    His mother never lets us to see and communicate with each other. He finds it difficult and tries his best to get through her to see me.

    Once we visited their house. My sister went upstairs to call her husband down. At that time I heard my bf calling his mom. When i heard it's him i got up to go and see him as i was worried and didn't see him for a long time.(I actually wanted to jump or hug him tightly as i knew he felt the same) His mother said it's not him as i got up. i knew she was lying as i heard the voice of my worried question faced bf looking at his mother. She even didn't let him visit me for my nephew's birthday. He had asked her hard but she purposely said she damaged her toe (which is already damaged) and took her family to the hospital. Their house was very close by.

    I'm doing a degree and staying in the same workplace. My mother tells me to marry my blood cousin and I said no to it. My eldest sister (not my sister at my bf family) also tells me to marry the cousin. I totally detest this and feel frustrated. I want to marry my bf and he does,too. Please support me to get through this.
    Sounds like a poem, good job.
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    (Original post by Sena5)
    Hey, thanks a lot for caring.
    I agree to what you say honestly.
    His plan is to finish of the doctor license exam and get job.
    Once he earns he can move out of that house and will be independent. Till he works out I work out myself getting a degree so his mother and father and granpa will be satisfied. Then, i will have no problem of them and will never bother about them even if they interfere anymore. This is all because I feel his mother wants her son to get married to the degree and not to a girl! On another hand, i don't want ppl saying he has married a girl who has learnt lower to him and make him upset. What's wrong in learning the degree is what i thought. it's all for our good.
    we meet in person if he visits our house, once in a blue moon he gets a chance which he uses to see me. i don't feel comfortable when his bro (my sister's hubby) is with him or either their parents because they also see for my education. I'm sure once he gets his job he will leave them to settle in his own.

    I'm sure he won't leave and i won't, too. I tell this with a reason. :yep:

    Cheers
    OK, sounds like you both just need to be patient. I can't imagine a world where people were only allowed to marry someone with equal qualifications rather than because they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. I guess family pressure is strong, but It sounds like you have the strength to do what is right for you both.
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    (Original post by Lit teacher)
    OK, sounds like you both just need to be patient. I can't imagine a world where people were only allowed to marry someone with equal qualifications rather than because they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. I guess family pressure is strong, but It sounds like you have the strength to do what is right for you both.
    true..It is actually difficult for me without him.
    I always imagine that he loved me because he thought i am perfect for him but others say i'm not fit for him due to no having a degree which makes me feel sad.
    I'm sure he loves me. that is why each chance he gets he always see me.
    previously one person dumped me so i was too worried. I got less marks in alevel. After meeting my bf i felt happy, confident an regained myself which his parents don't know. It is what is only making me have my strength to do the education.
    i still can feel what my sister and mother told about marrying my cousin. They also said if my cousin says he has a gf it is alright to marry my cousin's younger brother, who is younger than me! :angry: i feel disturbed about that and never feel positive around them now.
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    (Original post by Allie4)
    Your boyfriend needs to man up. If this is him now imagine what it will be like after you are married. I imagine you'll be moving in with your in-laws as it sounds like your sister lives with them. Imagine that scenario, you stuck in a cramped house living with a nightmare mother in law and a husband who seems too cowardly to stand up to her. Tell him to man up, I strongly suggest you don't say yes to marriage unless he's willing to move out!
    I agree to the point that i will never agree to live with them.
    His mother never lets him go out when he wants to see me. She dominates him and he almost quarrels with her to leave him.
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    (Original post by Light Venom)
    Sounds like a poem, good job.
    thanks.
 
 
 
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