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So I finally met this really nice girl but... Watch

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    ...I dont know if its right to be interested in her

    Warning this is very long but I wanted to give you as much detail as possible

    Background
    Im in year 13 and shes in year 12 (same school)
    Ive talked to her twice in person (2months ago) msged for about 45mins once on fb (1 month ago)
    She has an unspecified 'special needs' issue
    My personality: definitely confident, Im humorous too, but I may appear standoffish, (we're both kind of loners, me more so being basically always alone)

    Reasons why I should be interested in her
    -I like her for her personality as well as her beauty, shes kind, considerate to others and a 'quieter academic type' of girl
    -In the 45 mins of msging, she used emojis back at me, and provided lots of details about her, and msg lengths were similar but my msgs were a bit longer, she asked one question back to me ( I asked about 5 to keep the convo going)
    -Yesterday coming out of assembly, she stared at me twice out the corner of her eye for about 3 seconds (she could be looking for someone else but we made eye contact)

    Reasons why I shouldnt be interested in her
    -She never started another convo over msg, its been a month-Shes in a lower year so we have no lessons together...its hard to approach her (apart from breaks and lunch)
    -She didnt ask back a lot of questions during the 45min msging
    - she has a special needs issue, I dont think its social tho (its not anxiety cos she makes announcements in fornt of the whole school at assembly, and I see her chat to ppl in her year-boys and girls)

    My analysis
    -she either isnt interested/only used to be interested in me (hence the no msging) and I shouldnt waste both our times or shes waiting for me to make a move/is still interested or neutral about me? (hence the quick stares)

    -she also smiles when I make eye contact with her when walking (I smile first), Im guessing thats just a generic polite response?

    Any advice or opinions appreciated!


    Foo.mp3 I hear you are somewhat good at these things?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My analysis
    Foo.mp3 I hear you are somewhat good at these things?
    This heading alone, plus the general style, plus the level of content, rather indicate you are a little spectrum and/or over-analysing (we've all been there). Girls like guys who take risks and demonstrate decisiveness/determination
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    I dunno what to tell you man because she must think your just friends unless you've been getting flirty so if you want to make something out of this you gotta let her know that you like her. Not in a big way like sending an "I love you" message but try and be playful/teasing/flirty and if she responds with a smile then you know it's going somewhere. Also I would avoid messaging altogether and have all of your interactions in person. Your probably not the only guy who messages her so it doesn't make you stand out.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    This heading alone, plus the general style, plus the level of content, rather indicate you are a little spectrum and/or over-analysing (we've all been there). Girls like guys who take risks and demonstrate decisiveness/determination
    (Original post by JavaScriptMaster)
    I dunno what to tell you man because she must think your just friends unless you've been getting flirty so if you want to make something out of this you gotta let her know that you like her. Not in a big way like sending an "I love you" message but try and be playful/teasing/flirty and if she responds with a smile then you know it's going somewhere. Also I would avoid messaging altogether and have all of your interactions in person. Your probably not the only guy who messages her so it doesn't make you stand out.
    Thanks a ton for your quick answers and your detailed one java!

    Bit of important info I left, out , besides the 2 short convos and the one msging convo, we have never talked before, I think we're only barely friends! (trying to avoid the friendzone here xD)
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    I don't know either of you so all I've got to go off is what you wrote in your post. In my opinion, you should try to become closer friends with her to see if it's going anywhere (i.e. if a relationship is on the cards).

    Good luck
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    (Original post by Banana00)
    I don't know either of you so all I've got to go off is what you wrote in your post. In my opinion, you should try to become closer friends with her to see if it's going anywhere (i.e. if a relationship is on the cards).

    Good luck
    Thank you for your advice, I think Ill definitely be a closer friend!
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    #1

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    This heading alone, plus the general style, plus the level of content, rather indicate you are a little spectrum and/or over-analysing (we've all been there). Girls like guys who take risks and demonstrate decisiveness/determination
    (Original post by JavaScriptMaster)
    I dunno what to tell you man because she must think your just friends unless you've been getting flirty so if you want to make something out of this you gotta let her know that you like her. Not in a big way like sending an "I love you" message but try and be playful/teasing/flirty and if she responds with a smile then you know it's going somewhere. Also I would avoid messaging altogether and have all of your interactions in person. Your probably not the only guy who messages her so it doesn't make you stand out.
    (Original post by Banana00)
    I don't know either of you so all I've got to go off is what you wrote in your post. In my opinion, you should try to become closer friends with her to see if it's going anywhere (i.e. if a relationship is on the cards).Good luck
    You probably aren't interested anymore but I thought Id give a quick update...

    Its strange cos I talked to her yesterday briefly, I asked about her studies and general small talk but she never asked me a question?

    I also paused in the middle of the convo to see if she would continue the convo but she didnt so I restarted it for a short while before leaving.

    The thing is, she doesn't initiate convos over msg or irl but when I ask her stuff, she provides a lot of detail and gives good body language, like strong eye contact and smiling

    -I also complimented her glasses but she didnt say anything about it, I think she was embarrassed?

    is she possibly intimidated or just shy? (shes a year younger and we have barely talked before)

    she is definitely more of a quiet type and Im more confident and outgoing so maybe thats why?

    or should I just stop trying and wait for her to reach out to me?
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    Sounds like she's talking to you out of politeness to be honest. If I was interested in a guy I'd be asking questions back to keep the conversation going, and/or messaging/texting
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    I think the only way you'll know for sure is if you bite the bullet and ask her directly if she'd like to go out on a date with you sometime.
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    is she a shy girl in general? because girls never really want to make any moves on guys or show any signs of interest unless they are 100% sure that the guy likes them! Especially for shy girls who lack in confidence dont like the idea of letting down their guards and getting rejected! As theyve probably had to slowly build up the courage to show any interests and dont want to get embarrassed by not receiving any back. maybe make it very prominent that you like her more than just acquaintances or friends! you can say things like.. you enjoy talking to her or that you enjoy her company! compliment her and make her feel special
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sounds like she's talking to you out of politeness to be honest. If I was interested in a guy I'd be asking questions back to keep the conversation going, and/or messaging/texting
    I was afraid that was the case but I dont want to accept it I guess...I think Ill stop trying and see if she reaches out in any way at all?

    I dont know, she just talks in quite a lot of detail back but never starts stuff?
    Spoiler:
    Show
    like I asked her about her glasses and she said shed gone through 5 pairs, she then listed why each of the glasses broke on each occasion which seems like a lot of extra detail, like she was trying to talk for longer?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think the only way you'll know for sure is if you bite the bullet and ask her directly if she'd like to go out on a date with you sometime.
    Would that just scare her off permanently?

    we've only talked literally 3 times quickly and a longerish chat on fb...I want to get to know her more but I dont think she feels the same way, is it possible shes just unsure or just simply isnt interested?

    (Original post by aw147)
    is she a shy girl in general? because girls never really want to make any moves on guys or show any signs of interest unless they are 100% sure that the guy likes them! Especially for shy girls who lack in confidence dont like the idea of letting down their guards and getting rejected! As theyve probably had to slowly build up the courage to show any interests and dont want to get embarrassed by not receiving any back. maybe make it very prominent that you like her more than just acquaintances or friends! you can say things like.. you enjoy talking to her or that you enjoy her company! compliment her and make her feel special
    Yes she is a shy girl in general indeed! and I am more outgoing so maybe thats a problem...

    Ah well, I started 2 convos with her and 1 other on msger (asking questions about her and making jokes etc) and complimented her glasses last time...surely she knows I like her?

    Thank you for all your insight though, she certainly is the quiet type as well...she is more of a loner like me!

    Ill definitely try to compliment her if she starts a convo

    In the meantime I think I need to give her some space and let her reach out for once..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she is definitely more of a quiet type and Im more confident and outgoing so maybe thats why?
    Perfectly possible

    should I just stop trying and wait for her to reach out to me?
    See no reason to do so unless you encounter negative IOIs. At least suggest you hang out some time and see what she says, before giving up!
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    See no reason to do so unless you encounter negative IOIs. At least suggest you hang out some time and see what she says, before giving up!
    I barely saw her this week, also on a supremely superficial note, I liked her fb profile pic from 2015 and she didnt anything of mine back?

    I really think I should give up, she has barely given any positive signs..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I barely saw her this week, also on a supremely superficial note, I liked her fb profile pic from 2015 and she didnt anything of mine back?

    I really think I should give up, she has barely given any positive signs..
    she didnt like anything*
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    I can't say anything bc Foo.mp3 has said it all.He's the relationship master
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    doesn't really matter if she s interested in u or not at this point
    ..u can still approach her, but not just on fb ffs
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    (Original post by tamil fever)
    I can't say anything bc Foo.mp3 has said it all.He's the relationship master
    Foo.mp3 is indeed a master!

    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    doesn't really matter if she s interested in u or not at this point
    ..u can still approach her, but not just on fb ffs
    surely I should approach her only if shes interested me (if I have a romantic intent)

    -Im not very good at being just friends with girls, I either dont talk much or try too hard

    I have shown that I like her before (complimenting her and starting conversations) but she doesnt seem to keep it going (she is a shy girl)

    the fb thing was only cos I barely see her at school (shes in a lower year) and I wondered if shed like my pic back out of a small interest?

    but she didnt even do that....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yep she's really shy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Foo.mp3 is indeed a master!



    surely I should approach her only if shes interested me (if I have a romantic intent)

    -Im not very good at being just friends with girls, I either dont talk much or try too hard

    I have shown that I like her before (complimenting her and starting conversations) but she doesnt seem to keep it going (she is a shy girl)

    the fb thing was only cos I barely see her at school (shes in a lower year) and I wondered if shed like my pic back out of a small interest?

    but she didnt even do that....
    you misunderstood me
    i said that she doesn't necessarily have to be interested in you now
    waiting for the ppl you find attractive to like you back isn't really the best way to go, especially with shy types
    and starting a convo with a girl or complimenting her isn't a great indicator that you like her.. unless you're a sixth grader
    man up and ask her out
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    Dude! Seriously, you should try to become closer with her, if you think she is interested in you in any way then go for it, but if not, try and show that you are by being flirty, then she might know that you like her and will become conscious of it.
 
 
 
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