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I hate everything about myself

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    #1

    I hate everything about myself, from my appearance to my culture.

    I am an 18-year-old female.

    I have no friends at college and find it hard to be myself around people.

    I also get panic attacks every time i am in a crowded place.

    It also does not help that people around me do not seem to understand my situation.

    Perhaps, it is because they are ignorant of something called "depression", maybe?

    I feel useless, i don't know what i am good at to make a good career out of it.

    If i am not good at maths and can't string or write a sentence in English properly, then, I don't know what is there to be good at?

    I feel embarrassed to be an aspiring nurse as people in my family look down upon it and think it is a dirty job which does not pay well.

    My mum and dad are also unemployed so they obviously want me to be in a good career to support them and nursing just isn't the career for them.

    I hate the stigma attached to being a nurse in my family.

    I feel like dying- life is hard when you are broke and your parents can't always support you anymore because they are broke too

    I have applied for jobs directly at certain retail stores but had no phone calls

    what is the meaning of life?

    How do i learn to love myself ? especially when no one has shown an interest in me?

    Fair enough i am only 18, and tbh, don't want a relationship but for the past 5+ years of my life, i have only been surrounded by girls, no males.

    It is only now that i am at college, its a bit different since its further education college, not an all girls school.


    TLDTR: I feel hopeless about everything, from my appearance to my future life.
    Family stigma towards depression etc.

    I don't know where i am going in life.

    I just know that i want to be a nurse and nothing more
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    being a nurse is a wonderful rewarding profession , not a "dirty job".
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hate everything about myself, from my appearance to my culture.

    I am an 18-year-old female.

    I have no friends at college and find it hard to be myself around people. Many people feel like this at college. You're around people that you can really only be friends with due to circumstantial reason. Just know this, your social life and who you are in college, has no bearing on who you will be at university or when you get a job. Even from a summer job last year after 6th form, I realised what a bubble 6th form and college was compared to real life. Focus on your studies and do everything you can to ace your grades so you can make something of yourself and go to the best uni for you, or employment.

    I also get panic attacks every time i am in a crowded place. Look up breathing techniques on YouTube, these can be really helpful. Also try to work out yourself what it is that's triggering these panic attacks. What is it about these crowded places that causes you to panic? Is there any evidence to show your irrational thoughts here are correct?

    It also does not help that people around me do not seem to understand my situation. unfortunately people don't often understand or are too absorbed in their own lives. If you feel like you need someone to talk to though, you can phone mental health hotlines for example Anxiety UK (08444 775 774), No Panic (0844 967 4848) and SANEline (0300 304 7000). Please don't underestimate how useful these hotlines can be. They have trained callers who are invaluable in both making you feel listened to and giving you proper advice.

    Perhaps, it is because they are ignorant of something called "depression", maybe? They are too often.

    I feel useless, i don't know what i am good at to make a good career out of it.. You are not useless, repeat that, you're not useless. You just haven't found what you're good at because you haven't found your passion. Is there any subject you really really enjoy? Have you tried doing any volunteering to meet different people? Charity shops are ALWAYS looking for volunteers, same with carehomes. they'll also be useful for bulking up your CV.

    If i am not good at maths and can't string or write a sentence in English properly, then, I don't know what is there to be good at? I've read what you've written here and haven't had a problem with understanding it, so you clearly can string a sentence together in English my friend. There are PLENTY of subjects besides maths and English. I was awful at maths at AS level, to the point where I'd come off and cry about it and dread going into maths lessons. I used to sit in the lessons feeling like the tiniest and most clueless person there. And now I'm studying Medicine. Being rubbish at maths (in fact no ones even rubbish at maths, with enough practice and SELF belief anyone can manage it, maybe not ace it and get 100% in every module, but you can still pass it). I realised the only person who could help me in maths was me, I needed to seek help. So I went and saw my maths teacher most days after school and asked her to re-explain some topics to me again and I would go home and practice questions. I would go on YouTube and look up how to do certain questions (exam solutions was invaluable). I went from getting Ds, Es (and once a U) in class tests and mocks to getting an A at AS (okay by 1 UMS but still, I managed it). And you can do it as well. I'm not saying you need an A in it, but with enough hard work believe me you'll surprise yourself at what you can achieve. Please don't think you need maths to be successful in life though, A LOT of people don't do Maths A level and still go onto have great careers.

    I feel embarrassed to be an aspiring nurse as people in my family look down upon it and think it is a dirty job which does not pay well. Do not ever being embarrassed about being a nurse. Girl there are people out there who are porn stars and escorts, and they're proud of what they do. You should definitely not be ashamed of a career where you'll be helping people everyday and making their lives just that little bit better. Live your life for YOU. If your family truly love you, when they see how happy you are doing you, they'll be happy for you as well. Also as a nurse there are SO many opportunities to work your way up the career ladder and such a broad spectrum of specialities to go into. It's a diverse, exciting, hard working yet rewarding career. Don't let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't follow what you want to do. As a nurse you can do locum work if you want to earn extra. Also about the dirty work comment, you can tell them this: even DOCTORS sometimes have to clean up patient vomit, do rectal examinations, a weeks work as a junior doctor in an A+E department and you'll see the stuff they have to deal with- gross right?! Talk to some nurses, see if you can get work experience to get an idea of what it's really like to work as one, but believe me it's not just dirty work all day long.

    My mum and dad are also unemployed so they obviously want me to be in a good career to support them and nursing just isn't the career for them. They're unemployed. I don't know if it's for health reasons or what, but they should be proud that you'll go to university and qualify as a nurse and be helping people everyday. Also they're your parents, they love you. When they see you're happy in your job, they'll be happy. Take what they say with a pinch of salt.

    I hate the stigma attached to being a nurse in my family. Whatever issue they have with nurses, which I don't actually understand why, is completely ridiculous. Talk to any doctor and they will tell you the work of a nurse is invaluable. What jobs is it that your family members have? Are they Albert Einsteins and Steven Jobs equivalents? Maybe they can focus more on their lives and less on you. If they say anything to you about nurse, kindly remind them next time they break a bone, need their blood taken, need a vaccine etc, they'll be going to one of those nurses they're supposedly so against.

    I feel like dying- life is hard when you are broke and your parents can't always support you anymore because they are broke too get a part time job. Or volunteer at a charity shop for a couple of months to add to your CV then print out tonnes of copies of your CV and hand them into everywhere: cafes, shops, pubs, hotels, anywhere. Complete online applications, look at your towns Facebook group page to see if there's any jobs going.

    I have applied for jobs directly at certain retail stores but had no phone calls don't give up friend, if you don't succeed try try try again. Complete online applications at places like M&S and John Lewis as well

    what is the meaning of life? I haven't worked that one out yet either, I don't think many people have.

    How do i learn to love myself ? especially when no one has shown an interest in me? realise that all you have in this world is you, you are the most stable thing you have in this world. Other people shouldn't be completing you, you need to complete yourself. Watch your favourite tv show, eat your favourite food, look up some TED talks on self acceptance, do little things that improve your appearance to increase your self confidence, eg plucking eyebrows, subtle makeup, straightening hair, different hairstyle. Do you.

    Fair enough i am only 18, and tbh, don't want a relationship but for the past 5+ years of my life, i have only been surrounded by girls, no males. I also went to a girls only secondary school, believe me it's frustrating and annoying being around girls all the time, again one of those things where you should just keep your head down, focus on your work so you can ace your a levels and get the hell out of there and start your life properly at university. You can meet guys at volunteering though. I made really great guy friends from volunteering at a care home.

    It is only now that i am at college, its a bit different since its further education college, not an all girls school.


    TLDTR: I feel hopeless about everything, from my appearance to my future life.
    Family stigma towards depression etc.

    I don't know where i am going in life. Follow your passion, don't let your family co-erce you. Be a nurse if you want to be and show them what an amazing nurse you can be too.

    I just know that i want to be a nurse and nothing more
    See the added bold.
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    Stay strong and be in control of everything you do. Want to be a nurse then just be one

    Not good at Maths? Get good. No point complaining and saying "whats the point"? it sounds like your sulking and want an easy ticket.

    Just be yourself but of course not 100% because nobody really is. Around people you feel more comfortable around just crack a joke here and ther, ask how their summer was, share a story if its relevant to the conversation just be cool, you know.

    Retail stores get so many applicants come on now dont feel so defeated. Stand back up and keep applying, fix your cv up, talk to people about advice on getting a job. Try to be stronger. When things go wrong dont be like "oh whats the point?" No. Instead get back up and say youre going to get this done. Then you'll build a tougher mentality. Because from what I can see, everything is just you battling your own demons which you really have complete control over once you look at the bigger picture. I cant stress the importance of becoming stronger mentally and gaining more belief in yourself

    Your family issues i cant speak on because I just dont like to get too personal...
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    seriously talk to someone?

    Like at 18 a bf should not define you! So talk to a school counsellor or something! If not someone on TSR can help. Not to hoot my own horn, but if you have an trouble you need to speak about, myself and many other members are willing to help!
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    See the added bold.
    WOW.

    Amazing advice.

    I feel like YOU were the only person who has actually read my post out of all the people who commented.

    Thanks.
 
 
 
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Updated: September 28, 2016
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