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Am I right to be wary of counsellors Watch

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    My family has had 5 deaths in 4 years, and since I have injured my shoulder, and haven't been able to lift my right shoulder for 2 years. Needless to say, I'm in a pretty bad place- in constant pain and on very strong painkillers, an insomniac suffering with depression and anxiety having to look after m younger brother and sister (12 and 8) and gran (87). I've tried talking to counsellors- one keeps talking about fate, and the other says everything is my fault, and I can do nothing about it. My GP want me to see another, but I'm genuinely scared- what do I do?
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    (Original post by Dino MD)
    My family has had 5 deaths in 4 years, and since I have injured my shoulder, and haven't been able to lift my right shoulder for 2 years. Needless to say, I'm in a pretty bad place- in constant pain and on very strong painkillers, an insomniac suffering with depression and anxiety having to look after m younger brother and sister (12 and 8) and gran (87). I've tried talking to counsellors- one keeps talking about fate, and the other says everything is my fault, and I can do nothing about it. My GP want me to see another, but I'm genuinely scared- what do I do?
    I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. I think your GP has made a good suggestion. After bad experiences with counsellors, its completely normal to feel that way. What you have to remember is that you could really do with the support, and sometimes it does take a few tries to find the right one for you. It could be worth asking if your GP knows of anyone in particular that they've heard good things about and if you could be referred specifically to them. Depending on a few things, it might not be possible, but I've seen it happen. Good luck!

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    da*** kinda BTEC counsellors are those?!
    if you have the money go for private - though I don't know much about private counselling so you're gonna have to look around for that
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    (Original post by Dino MD)
    My family has had 5 deaths in 4 years, and since I have injured my shoulder, and haven't been able to lift my right shoulder for 2 years. Needless to say, I'm in a pretty bad place- in constant pain and on very strong painkillers, an insomniac suffering with depression and anxiety having to look after m younger brother and sister (12 and 8) and gran (87). I've tried talking to counsellors- one keeps talking about fate, and the other says everything is my fault, and I can do nothing about it. My GP want me to see another, but I'm genuinely scared- what do I do?
    Who were these weirdo counsellors you saw ... fate and all your fault? Are you sure about this? They sound utterly ****.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Who were these weirdo counsellors you saw ... fate and all your fault? Are you sure about this? They sound utterly ****.
    Pretty common for **** like that to go down with counselors. I had one who had me record my dreams for 2 weeks so she could analyze them. :/



    OP: The thing about counselors in the UK is that there's actually no formal requirements to practice as a "counselor". With that in mind, the quality across the board varies dramatically and you get some right oddballs who give bad, or even dangerous advice. You mentioned that you're suffering from anxiety, have you looked into CBT for trying to get over the anxiety? CBT is actually proven to work, unlike "counseling". For instance, you tell the psychologist (there are formal qualifications needed to give someone CBT) the problem and work on solutions together for it. Counseling is where you talk and they say "hmm that sounds difficult" - listening but not offering solutions.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    OP: The thing about counselors in the UK is that there's actually no formal requirements to practice as a "counselor". With that in mind, the quality across the board varies dramatically and you get some right oddballs who give bad, or even dangerous advice. You mentioned that you're suffering from anxiety, have you looked into CBT for trying to get over the anxiety? CBT is actually proven to work, unlike "counseling". For instance, you tell the psychologist (there are formal qualifications needed to give someone CBT) the problem and work on solutions together for it. Counseling is where you talk and they say "hmm that sounds difficult" - listening but not offering solutions.
    This x 100. It is natural to be sceptical of counsellors, given what you have gone through. You might be better off trying to work with someone more experienced and more qualified than a counsellor, e.g. a clinical psychologist.

    That said, as has been mentioned, it does sometimes take a few tries to find the right fit. But I do totally agree with Saber that CBT or some sort of more structured, sound therapy (as opposed to counselling) might prove to be better and more meaningful for you :yes:
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Who were these weirdo counsellors you saw ... fate and all your fault? Are you sure about this? They sound utterly ****.
    They were- one made me see her before an exam without telling me why- she called my mobile the day before- i could've done without that. The other made me sit in the bathroom for an hour every night to write in a diary.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    This x 100. It is natural to be sceptical of counsellors, given what you have gone through. You might be better off trying to work with someone more experienced and more qualified than a counsellor, e.g. a clinical psychologist.

    That said, as has been mentioned, it does sometimes take a few tries to find the right fit. But I do totally agree with Saber that CBT or some sort of more structured, sound therapy (as opposed to counselling) might prove to be better and more meaningful for you :yes:
    Thanks for the advice, but what's the difference between counsellors and clinical psychologists- could you get them through the NHS
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Pretty common for **** like that to go down with counselors. I had one who had me record my dreams for 2 weeks so she could analyze them. :/



    OP: The thing about counselors in the UK is that there's actually no formal requirements to practice as a "counselor". With that in mind, the quality across the board varies dramatically and you get some right oddballs who give bad, or even dangerous advice. You mentioned that you're suffering from anxiety, have you looked into CBT for trying to get over the anxiety? CBT is actually proven to work, unlike "counseling". For instance, you tell the psychologist (there are formal qualifications needed to give someone CBT) the problem and work on solutions together for it. Counseling is where you talk and they say "hmm that sounds difficult" - listening but not offering solutions.
    I've never heard of CBT- what is it?
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    The counsellors I saw were either recommended by the school or the one who works through the school. it sounds obvious, but is there much difference between school and uni counsellors?
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    I suggest going through IAPT online (just Google it) - it's a self referral so you're GP doesn't need to be involved and they'll guide you to the right counselling/therapy for your needs.
    I would agree with the GP though with going with a different one, I know some counsellors can be annoying but sooner or later you'll find one that actually helps.
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    (Original post by Dino MD)
    The counsellors I saw were either recommended by the school or the one who works through the school. it sounds obvious, but is there much difference between school and uni counsellors?
    Uni counsellors are much better than school ones. I felt like my school ones always treated me like a child that doesn't know anything so they always thought I don't know what proper counselling is. Looking back I can see they didn't really care about me. Uni counsellors treat you more like an adult and they're usually paid a lot better so it's likely they'll do a better job.
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    (Original post by Dino MD)
    Thanks for the advice, but what's the difference between counsellors and clinical psychologists- could you get them through the NHS
    Cousellors have far less training and cannot diagnose or properly comment on mental health issues. My general impression of them (though I've only had one **** uni counsellor, compared to three clinical psychologists) is that they take evening courses or a short course (or at best, up to Masters level degree) in a particular counselling method, which they then may try and apply to everyone they see, because they are only trained in the one method.

    Clinical psychologists, on the hand, have a clinical doctorate (i.e. a clinical, practice-based PhD equivalent) in studying a wide variety of therapeutic methods (usually proven/peer-reviewed ones, like cognitive behavioural therapy, or dialectical behaviour therapy). They have undergone very rigorous training, which includes having therapy themselves. So they know what it's like to be a patient/a customer, as well as being a psychologist. They do not try to shoe-horn you into their favourite/particular model, but approach things more holistically. Since they have a clinical doctorate, they are able to diagnose mental health problems, and are usually found working in hospital settings or private practices, though some are attached to universities.

    I've only had one counselling experience and it was disastrous, tbh. So that does colour my view, but I do wholeheartedly believe the more training someone has had, the better at their job they are likely to be.

    Clinical psychologists can be found on the NHS. They are usually attached to mental health hospitals, etc. which you can be referred to if deemed appropriate/necessary. There are pretty long waiting lists though, and how long you wait depends on where you live/are studying.

    (Original post by Dino MD)
    The counsellors I saw were either recommended by the school or the one who works through the school. it sounds obvious, but is there much difference between school and uni counsellors?
    Uni counsellors probably see a wider variety of ages and problems/life experiences, tbh :yes:
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    Whilst cou sellors are not regulaged, this doesnt mean tney arent any good. You can have bad psycjologists just as you can have bad counsellors. A counsellor in a school or uni can be a trainee, and you can ask them if they are. When looking for a therapist, you can check their qualifications and their registration to a professional body..such as the bacp, ncs, cpcab. There is also a voluntary register for all qualified counsellors. You can ask for proof of this too. And in additio to this, a counsellor may be an accredited member of their professional body.

    Counsellors can be taught multiple methods of working. For example, my course taught me the person centred approach, gestalt, transactional analysis,psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and other cognitive methods such as REBT. Whilst its true there is a lackof basic mental health content on courses, all counsellors are required by their professional body to complete an annual amount of additonal training. Many of these courses include subjects like mental health. There is very little difference in the way i work compared to my clincial psychologist. Its worth also mentioning that the majority of courses have a personal therapy requirement and even if they dont, placements needed to do for qualification do have. There is also a high supervision requirement for therapists, private or otherwise.

    Onthe research done of therapy over the years, the relationship between the client and the therapist has been the higheet indicator of success. Rsther than mode of working, second only tothe belief a client has that that therapy will work.

    Its okay not to trust someone. In fact its a normal response to being hurt and i tell all clients this. Trust is something we build with another person and a therapist is no different

    Also worth bearing in mind that whilst CBT is curently recommended for anxiety, its not necesarily appropriate for bereavement. You might want to seek bereavement counselling. But cbt might feel good for you. Go for what you like and the counsellor you connect with.
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    Also wanted to say there is very little difference between uni and school counsellors. As a trainee you can have a placement in either, though working with children under 13 often requires different or additonal training. Youd probably also be surprised to discover that the majority of counsellors in either of those settings are actually unpaid. Schools often subcontract to counselling charities who use volunteers that are trainees or qualified. In addition, many courses limit the amount of hours you can credit to your qualification if those hours have been with a client underage of 18. Meaning that a school counsellor will often have a placement or job with adult clients too. If a counsellor had trouble treating a teenager as an adult, that is their personal thing and not indicative of training or other counsellros working in the same field.
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    Fair enough, I stand mostly corrected
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    Sorry didnt mean to offend you. ..if i did

    Wanted to share some insider knowledge to help all. Downside of no regulation is this mystery of training and how good it is. With psychologist ypu know up front...their training has been rigorous.
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    Sorry didnt mean to offend you. ..if i did

    Wanted to share some insider knowledge to help all. Downside of no regulation is this mystery of training and how good it is. With psychologist ypu know up front...their training has been rigorous.
    You didn't offend me, dw! Hence the smiley face It's great to hear insider knowledge and of course I would want correction if I was saying wrong things. So it's great you posted :hugs:

    I guess that's kinda what I was getting at, what you wrote in the last two sentences :yep:
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    (Original post by Dino MD)
    They were- one made me see her before an exam without telling me why- she called my mobile the day before- i could've done without that. The other made me sit in the bathroom for an hour every night to write in a diary.
    :lolwut:

    ... what was the purpose of making you write your diary in the bathroom?
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    :lolwut:

    ... what was the purpose of making you write your diary in the bathroom?
    i couldnt write it anywhere i studied or slept, and i had to be alone- the counsellor suggested the bathroom
 
 
 
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