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Starting to get attached before the abortion? Watch

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    I'm planning to have an abortion in about 2 weeks because of my circumstances. I would be homeless, financially unstable, my education/career would be disrupted and me and the father are not on the best terms. I'm trying to think realistically but I just can't help wanting to keep it against all the odds. I don't want to be selfish and bring the baby into a world of struggle and poverty when I'm not even ready to be a mother at 18. However I still find myself; altering my diet to keep the baby healthy, I've completely stopped smoking and drinking, getting advice from pregnancy websites, doing things like "nesting", being careful of the medication that I take etc I'm only 4 weeks into the pregnancy so I'm not sure why I'm even doing all this. How do I detach myself to make the abortion easier?

    NOTE: Any one who is extremely pro life or is going to call me a murderer or whatnot can simply click away because your opinion is unwanted in this situation.
    • #2
    #2

    Sounds very tough completely understand what you're saying, although I haven't been in that sort of situation. Do you have family/ friends that you can talk to? It might even be worth paying for a couple of counselling sessions where you can talk through your thoughts and feelings x
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    I suppose you could focus on the mess your life would be if you did go through with it; you could try and forget about it all and go drinking with your friends; you could direct (distract) all your concentration to your education/career; you could remind yourself that the embryo is currently nothing more than an unfeeling, unthinking 2mm ball of cells, etc.
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    Don't you have parents or siblings who can help you out?

    Pregnancy is a very emotional time for women in my opinion because we get attached to something. Obviously, you will because it's growing inside for you everyday and your feel guilty wanting an option.

    I'm not telling you to keep the baby or have a abortion. That's your decision to make, you have decided to go with abortion and that's fine. What I think you do need is support to go through this and it should come from your boyfriend/family/friends etc.
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    Is there no way you can bring the abortion date forward? If not, keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you're having the abortion in the first place, tell yourself these reasons again and again
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    TSR Support Team
    2 weeks is a very long time to wait for an abortion. If the abortion is definitely what you want then is there no way to get the date pushed sooner? Clinics usually like to get the procedure done as soon as possible due to pregnancies developing more and more every single day and also, to make it easier on the mother if the abortion is definitely what she wants.

    I think what you are feeling is normal in the circumstances due to your conflict about what to do. If you can't get an appointment any sooner then this fortnight until your appointment would be a good time to think things through more, talk to people (both close friends/family and maybe even people online to hear their experiences) and it gives you time to just take things a bit slow and not rush into anything without being fully committed to whatever decision you do make. If your decision makes you feel low or you're having a hard time decided or coping with the choice you make, you should ask the abortion clinic or GP for what services they provide on this subject. A lot of clinics offer counselling or therapy before and after an abortion so you are comfortable with whatever you choose to do.
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    Your child is essentially begging you to keep it.

    I mean, i'm sure life's not that bad. Yes it won't be easy. I see it as people having the option to abort GCSE's and A levels and head straight to work or university. In other words, avoiding a temporary inconvenience/difficulty.

    But yes, it's not that simple. Therefore,

    you are entitled to abort.

    I feel like i've just written a load of nonsense and waffle.

    Rare
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    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    Your child is essentially begging you to keep it.

    I mean, i'm sure life's not that bad. Yes it won't be easy. I see it as people having the option to abort GCSE's and A levels and head straight to work or university. In other words, avoiding a temporary inconvenience/difficulty.

    But yes, it's not that simple. Therefore,

    you are entitled to abort.

    I feel like i've just written a load of nonsense and waffle.

    Rare
    very deep, extremely insightful
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm planning to have an abortion in about 2 weeks because of my circumstances. I would be homeless, financially unstable, my education/career would be disrupted and me and the father are not on the best terms. I'm trying to think realistically but I just can't help wanting to keep it against all the odds. I don't want to be selfish and bring the baby into a world of struggle and poverty when I'm not even ready to be a mother at 18. However I still find myself; altering my diet to keep the baby healthy, I've completely stopped smoking and drinking, getting advice from pregnancy websites, doing things like "nesting", being careful of the medication that I take etc I'm only 4 weeks into the pregnancy so I'm not sure why I'm even doing all this. How do I detach myself to make the abortion easier?

    NOTE: Any one who is extremely pro life or is going to call me a murderer or whatnot can simply click away because your opinion is unwanted in this situation.
    Sounds very difficult and it probably is instinctive for you to want to protect it. I know someone who had an abortion and is now very glad and feels it was the right decision, but she struggled at the time for the same reason and she mourned slightly afterwards too. She finds it helpful to think about how she may have children in the future, and will be able to provide a life for them that she can't provide at the moment.

    To make the abortion easier perhaps you could think about it in those terms as well? Also it's good to have someone with you to help you through the process - if you don't get on well with the father than perhaps one of your parents or a trusted friend. They can be your emotional support.

    I hope you choose whatever is right for you and whatever happens you'll find a way to cope
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    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    Your child is essentially begging you to keep it.

    I mean, i'm sure life's not that bad. Yes it won't be easy. I see it as people having the option to abort GCSE's and A levels and head straight to work or university. In other words, avoiding a temporary inconvenience/difficulty.

    But yes, it's not that simple. Therefore,

    you are entitled to abort.

    I feel like i've just written a load of nonsense and waffle.

    Rare

    'Abort' lol it's not a secret mission
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    (Original post by abc:))
    'Abort' lol it's not a secret mission
    What's your point
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    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    Your child is essentially begging you to keep it.

    I mean, i'm sure life's not that bad. Yes it won't be easy. I see it as people having the option to abort GCSE's and A levels and head straight to work or university. In other words, avoiding a temporary inconvenience/difficulty.

    But yes, it's not that simple. Therefore,

    you are entitled to abort.

    I feel like i've just written a load of nonsense and waffle.

    Rare
    A child is a temporary inconvenience? lol
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    A child is a temporary inconvenience? lol
    Pregnancy and having a baby is a temporary convenience.

    Having a child is not a permanent inconvenience.

    There is a distinct difference between a baby and a child.

    It is likely that she will love the child and thoughts of abortion will be well behind her when she see's what she created.

    Although, I can see your point.
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    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    Pregnancy and having a baby is a temporary convenience.

    Having a child is not a permanent inconvenience.

    There is a distinct difference between a baby and a child.

    It is likely that she will love the child and thoughts of abortion will be well behind her when she see's what she created.

    Although, I can see your point.
    Women don't tend to have an abortion because the pregnancy is an inconvenience, it's the 18+ years afterwards that is the inconvenience.

    It's also likely that she will be content with her decision when she looks at her own situation and realises she is in no position to care for a child. Not only this, but she'll be able to study full time or perhaps work full time to put herself in a position that will enable her to support a child in the future.
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    This is so hard. It could ruin your life keeping it but it could also help you prosper. There are many single mothers who work hard and make it successful. The thing is it is highly unlikely. When you have the child you will be so busy and then trying to get education and look after the kid will be so hard. Also having a baby at 18 will have social consequences. You should be glad they have given you 2 weeks to think about it nicely and calmly. Now I am typing this very carefully because I know you need honest and sincere advice. There are pros and cons and you need to make right decision. You will get varied responses but I feel you need to follow your heart. There are so many people who after aborting have problems. What you need to think about is what you want you in life? Do you believe the child is alive because technically it isn't really alive at the moment? Would you consider it murder? I know you said not to mention it but you need to think about it. Will you have anyone supporting you friends or family? It will be a hard time and you will need support? Are you willing to work so hard and have less leisure time to yourself for this child? You could have a kid later in life. Would not being able to support you child make you guilty? Could you possibly use that to motivate and drive yourself.

    It is hard to make suggestions when you don't know the person. I know of one girl who got pregnant at 19 and I was like what an idiot she should of kept her legs closed. I can't say how well she will do or how well she is doing. I am finding this really hard to conclude. It is different for different people. Some people can block negativity some can't. Some can drive themselves to work for the kid some can't. Some will blame the kid and go into depression. Some will go into depression after getting an abortion. You need to see a therapist and talk about this. If you need someone to talk too I am available through PM. Stay strong
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm planning to have an abortion in about 2 weeks because of my circumstances. I would be homeless, financially unstable, my education/career would be disrupted and me and the father are not on the best terms. I'm trying to think realistically but I just can't help wanting to keep it against all the odds. I don't want to be selfish and bring the baby into a world of struggle and poverty when I'm not even ready to be a mother at 18. However I still find myself; altering my diet to keep the baby healthy, I've completely stopped smoking and drinking, getting advice from pregnancy websites, doing things like "nesting", being careful of the medication that I take etc I'm only 4 weeks into the pregnancy so I'm not sure why I'm even doing all this. How do I detach myself to make the abortion easier?

    NOTE: Any one who is extremely pro life or is going to call me a murderer or whatnot can simply click away because your opinion is unwanted in this situation.
    2 weeks gives you some time to think. This is your decision and your decision only, but to be honest, it sounds like you're wanting to keep your baby..which is great, and definitely doable if you can offer the time and patience. There's help available to you if that's the route you want to take.
    If not, abortion whilst you're still early on is a viable alternative, and you could always try for a baby when you're ready to do so.
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    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    What's your point
    My point is that it was odd language to use
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do I detach myself to make the abortion easier?
    Remind yourself it's just a blob and you are an unfit person to become a mother at this juncture for a whole host of reasons. Pragmatism ftw. Next time, be more careful. My sympathies :console:
 
 
 
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