Dreading this year before it`s really started.

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The Monk
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#1
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#1
Basically, as a first year I was in Halls last year and absolutely loved my flatmates. I`m a guy and the rest were all girls (haha) but they were all really friendly and easy to get along with which was perfect for me considering I have bad anxiety and was delighted to be somewhere where I just felt comfortable. When it came to housing, they wanted an all girl house which is fair enough but left me at a loose end as they were my only real friends at uni. I`ve just moved into private accommodation and haven`t been as lucky with my selection of flatmates to put it mildly. They`re all 3rd years who already knew each other beforehand and are all pretty loud and extroverted and although I barely know them they don`t seem like the kind of people get along with.
Basically I think I`m on the verge of a breakdown haha as I don`t really have anyone at Uni and feel like I`m going to be in for along year if I already don`t like it, just don`t know what to do really, it`s just depressing making contrasts in my mind as to how much I was enjoying last year.
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jelly1000
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#2
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#2
(Original post by The Monk)
Basically, as a first year I was in Halls last year and absolutely loved my flatmates. I`m a guy and the rest were all girls (haha) but they were all really friendly and easy to get along with which was perfect for me considering I have bad anxiety and was delighted to be somewhere where I just felt comfortable. When it came to housing, they wanted an all girl house which is fair enough but left me at a loose end as they were my only real friends at uni. I`ve just moved into private accommodation and haven`t been as lucky with my selection of flatmates to put it mildly. They`re all 3rd years who already knew each other beforehand and are all pretty loud and extroverted and although I barely know them they don`t seem like the kind of people get along with.
Basically I think I`m on the verge of a breakdown haha as I don`t really have anyone at Uni and feel like I`m going to be in for along year if I already don`t like it, just don`t know what to do really, it`s just depressing making contrasts in my mind as to how much I was enjoying last year.
I know what its like going from one housing situation you prefer to one isn't so great so I understand how you feel, I spent way too long moping over it! Are you still in touch with your first year flatmates? Can you not still meet up with them? If not what about getting more involved in societies at uni? There are usually quieter societies- at my uni we had things like baking and quizzing.
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The Monk
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#3
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#3
(Original post by jelly1000)
I know what its like going from one housing situation you prefer to one isn't so great so I understand how you feel, I spent way too long moping over it! Are you still in touch with your first year flatmates? Can you not still meet up with them? If not what about getting more involved in societies at uni? There are usually quieter societies- at my uni we had things like baking and quizzing.
Hi thanks for the reply. Just for further advice I was wondering what to do. Since moving in I keep getting panic attacks when im in my room and whilst it could be due to homesickness I didn`t feel like this at all last year and I`m avoiding going into the kitchen as much as possible as they`re becoming even more loud and obnoxious (they were even just sat in the kitchen just smoking weed earlier which is pretty disrespectful to other flatmates imo). I just don`t know what my options are, stick it out and hope it gets better? I could ask to move flats but the grass isn`t always greener elsewhere.
My main worry is that 2nd year is supposedly the hardest and the assumption is made that you`ve found an environment you`re happy living in whilst this is anything but the case for me and I`m not sure how I`ll cope with this on top of harder work.
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jelly1000
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#4
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#4
(Original post by The Monk)
Hi thanks for the reply. Just for further advice I was wondering what to do. Since moving in I keep getting panic attacks when im in my room and whilst it could be due to homesickness I didn`t feel like this at all last year and I`m avoiding going into the kitchen as much as possible as they`re becoming even more loud and obnoxious (they were even just sat in the kitchen just smoking weed earlier which is pretty disrespectful to other flatmates imo). I just don`t know what my options are, stick it out and hope it gets better? I could ask to move flats but the grass isn`t always greener elsewhere.
My main worry is that 2nd year is supposedly the hardest and the assumption is made that you`ve found an environment you`re happy living in whilst this is anything but the case for me and I`m not sure how I`ll cope with this on top of harder work.
Are you in halls again then? It might be worth asking to move flats because you don't seem to have much to loose, might be worth explaining you want a quieter flat. Also do consider trying your uni support services seeing as you are getting panic attacks, they should be able to provide some kind of support to help you. Your flatmates absolutely should not be smoking weed inside the flat, that will likey be a breach of the tenancy, however I'm not sure how much telling on them will help.
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The Monk
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#5
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#5
(Original post by jelly1000)
Are you in halls again then? It might be worth asking to move flats because you don't seem to have much to loose, might be worth explaining you want a quieter flat. Also do consider trying your uni support services seeing as you are getting panic attacks, they should be able to provide some kind of support to help you. Your flatmates absolutely should not be smoking weed inside the flat, that will likey be a breach of the tenancy, however I'm not sure how much telling on them will help.
I`m in private halls so the level of support isn`t as great as it was with regular halls last year unfortunately and I agree telling on them isn`t a great idea. I just feel like a mess at the moment and I`m also worrying about what I`ll do next year as I`ll be in the same situation then. In terms of changing flats about 90% of students here seem to be international here and whilst that`s fine I find it harder to connect to them as they prefer hanging around with other international students (most are chinese). I feel absoluetly terrible also because this is costing my parents alot of money and giving them something else to worry about but I`m not sure if I`ll be able to cope just soldiering on with it.
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jelly1000
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#6
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#6
(Original post by The Monk)
I`m in private halls so the level of support isn`t as great as it was with regular halls last year unfortunately and I agree telling on them isn`t a great idea. I just feel like a mess at the moment and I`m also worrying about what I`ll do next year as I`ll be in the same situation then. In terms of changing flats about 90% of students here seem to be international here and whilst that`s fine I find it harder to connect to them as they prefer hanging around with other international students (most are chinese). I feel absoluetly terrible also because this is costing my parents alot of money and giving them something else to worry about but I`m not sure if I`ll be able to cope just soldiering on with it.
Oh I see, I understand with the Chinese students, it seems to be the same at every uni with them, they won't talk to the non Chinese unless they have to. You can still go to uni support services for advice/support regardless of where you are living though.
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The Monk
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#7
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#7
(Original post by jelly1000)
Oh I see, I understand with the Chinese students, it seems to be the same at every uni with them, they won't talk to the non Chinese unless they have to. You can still go to uni support services for advice/support regardless of where you are living though.
Thanks I think I`m going to have to, I`ll give it a week and if I still feel the same I`m going to have to make a change. I`d feel intimidated a bit moving in with a flat of all Chinese students but at the moment I think I`d prefer that than guys who are constantly shouting in the kitchen and playing loud music and stuff.
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jelly1000
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#8
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#8
(Original post by The Monk)
Thanks I think I`m going to have to, I`ll give it a week and if I still feel the same I`m going to have to make a change. I`d feel intimidated a bit moving in with a flat of all Chinese students but at the moment I think I`d prefer that than guys who are constantly shouting in the kitchen and playing loud music and stuff.
Hopefully that way you might at least get some peace. I would also look into societies if you haven't already, you might make friends through them.
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The Monk
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#9
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#9
(Original post by jelly1000)
Hopefully that way you might at least get some peace. I would also look into societies if you haven't already, you might make friends through them.
Thanks for the advice, I know it would be naive for me to think that the strangers you get paired up with for flatmates are going to always end up being you`re best friends but I just need somewhere where I can feel comfortable.
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doodle_333
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#10
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#10
(Original post by The Monk)
Thanks I think I`m going to have to, I`ll give it a week and if I still feel the same I`m going to have to make a change. I`d feel intimidated a bit moving in with a flat of all Chinese students but at the moment I think I`d prefer that than guys who are constantly shouting in the kitchen and playing loud music and stuff.
don't judge them til you get there! I know chinese students tend to have a different attitude and culture to british and that can mean they prefer to hang around with people who are similar but it doesn't mean you'll be left out if you live with them... my partner lived with a couple of chinese guys and got on fine, often you find that international students are a bit more serious and quiet but plenty friendly if you make the effort and often will cook you some really tasty food!
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The Monk
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#11
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#11
(Original post by jelly1000)
Hopefully that way you might at least get some peace. I would also look into societies if you haven't already, you might make friends through them.
Sorry again but just another update, I think I`m screwed tbh. Accommodation have nothing else to offer me except maybe a studio which I can`t afford or else it`s highly unlikely someone will want to swap. Asked at the Uni services who advised me its probably best to leave but I can`t get out of the contract unless finding someone to replace it as its privately owned and then having to find somewhere else to stay with next to nothing available and as I`ve paid the first installment up until Christmas, I can`t really afford to write off £1800.
I`m going to see if there`s any spaces at the actual University Halls even though it`s almost all 1st years and is still unlikely I`d rather be there than here, have no idea if this is a good idea?

This is just so frustrating when I just want to be settled in and focus on my course, I have to say its that bad that if this was first year I would have dropped out of Uni most likely.
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jelly1000
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#12
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#12
(Original post by The Monk)
Sorry again but just another update, I think I`m screwed tbh. Accommodation have nothing else to offer me except maybe a studio which I can`t afford or else it`s highly unlikely someone will want to swap. Asked at the Uni services who advised me its probably best to leave but I can`t get out of the contract unless finding someone to replace it as its privately owned and then having to find somewhere else to stay with next to nothing available and as I`ve paid the first installment up until Christmas, I can`t really afford to write off £1800.
I`m going to see if there`s any spaces at the actual University Halls even though it`s almost all 1st years and is still unlikely I`d rather be there than here, have no idea if this is a good idea?

This is just so frustrating when I just want to be settled in and focus on my course, I have to say its that bad that if this was first year I would have dropped out of Uni most likely.
I'm sorry I can't offer you any more help
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The Monk
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#13
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#13
(Original post by jelly1000)
I'm sorry I can't offer you any more help
Nah don`t worry I`m feeling a bit upbeat as the Uni said it may be possible to go back into campus halls, I`d be with first years again but I`m fine with that. Sorry again for dragging you into my daily rants lol but thanks for the advice earlier.
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