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Obsessive-Compulsive disorder

It seems like over the years I've developed this disorder. I'd really like some input, because I'm purely self-diagnosing myself but it seems pretty obvious that I do suffer from it. It may seem like i'm one of the many who 'think' I might have it due to media awareness, but it's been going on for approximately five years now. I've dismissed it as a 'quirk' till now but I realise that it's very serious and is being quite detrimental to my health.

Here are a few things that I do:

I find it difficult and uncomfortable throwing away empty bottles, or other rubbish.

Odd numbers make me feel bad.

I'm constantly being critical of how I do things - and to counter act these thoughts I HAVE to think 'I'm just being silly, there's nothing wrong with me' or I'll feel bad throughout the day.

I feel the need to meticulously improve everything I do, Even down to how I breathe.

Frequent bizarre thoughts and imagery which I have to 'picture in a positive light' to avoid being stressed

Finding flaws in everything around me.

Thinking that I have X seconds to do a task, and if I don't do it in that time I'll get cancer/die/fail my exams etc.

Reading books and watching parts of movies repeatedly, or I'll feel bad.

Self destructive - I won't do things which help me in an obvious way and I'll be very hesistant to do them.

Depression and anxiety, excessive worrying.

Wanting things to be 'even' and 'well rounded'.



I also don't want to visit the doctor to confirm it, It feels bad to me. Advice? Help? Both appreciated..

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Reply 1

Sounds likes there's defo something up with you, maybe not (just) ocd either. You don't have to go to your doc, theres other pros out there to help. :hugs: Must be driving you crazy.

Reply 2

I don't really appear weird and awkward, and I'm quite social and outgoing (Even though I have to 'balance' this with staying at home!) It's pretty much all in my head, and the reason I know it's in my head is when I try to suppress it. Repeat cycle..

Reply 3

I can relate to a couple of those points although I wouldn't say it's taking over my life. I'm critical about how I do things and I find flaws easily. I too say I have X amount of seconds to do a task - although I don't take myself too seriously. It's just a way of getting something done. I think you should visit your doc or at least talk to someone you can trust - especially if everything you are going through is topped off by depression, anxiety and excessive worrying... You've been suffering for 5 years now and it must be exhausting keeping up with yourself. Perhaps some sort of counselling would help?

You're obviously putting on a front - you're sociable and outgoing and yet you worry yourself to death when you're in isolation... Perhaps you're bottling everything up - you can't seem to express how you feel with your friends so you (unconsciously) come up with these little 'quirks' to make you feel more in control of your life? I think, like me, you're a bit of a perfectionist... it doesn't have to be a bad thing - you just need to find a balance.

I'm trying to break little habits that I've developed over the years - it is difficult and you may need help or someone to talk to… but it's very liberating once you begin to make progress. Talking always helps. There is a way forward:smile:

Reply 4

I have a form of OCD. I've been terrified to go to the doctor incase he tells my parents. What would he do? Refer you to a psychologist? I would really prefer some medicine.

Reply 5

Loads of people have OCD. Don't worry. If it interferes too much then you can always see your doctor :smile:

Reply 6

this must be very distressing for you ... and i appreciate that you don't want to go to the doctors.

However

perhaps the best way to move forward is to seek help ... there are specialists out there so please consider going to the doctor ... it would be a positive not a negative thing to do.

Reply 7

My advice? Go to the doctor. OCD is very, very common and nothing to be ashamed about, but it's hell to live with. He/she may refer you for some CBT which is a form of therapy to help control it. A lot of people find they can control their OCD through these sessions so you might wanna give it a go. Don't suffer in silence because OCD can be really distressing.

In conclusion, I'd say that if it's interfearing with your day to day life, definitely go to your doctor. He/she will have probably seen this kind of thing on a day to day/week to week basis.

Reply 8

The above poster has got it absolutely right imho.

A good site for information and support can be found HERE

Reply 9

Nothing to be afraid of, tons of people have it.

Reply 10

I've got a feeling I have a mild form of it. If I put something down and walk away, sometimes/most of the time i'll think "I dont want it to be like that" So then i've thought about it I HAVE to go back and change it. It can get pretty annoying.

Reply 11

I think you should try and avoid any medicine for it if you can.
Maybe should see a trained therapist, behavioral therapy can also be used to treat OCD. It will help you to control situations that you face that can cause or trigger your obsessions and anxiety.
Going to a doctor will be you first step in combating it :smile: There's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Reply 12

mooseface
I've got a feeling I have a mild form of it. If I put something down and walk away, sometimes/most of the time i'll think "I dont want it to be like that" So then i've thought about it I HAVE to go back and change it. It can get pretty annoying.


Ditto. One time I came home from college and saw a newspaper on the doormat that had one corner folded over underneath it, and I actually felt sick and shakey thinking that it'd been there, like that, all day. :redface:

OP - A lot of what you've described sounds like OCD, but a lot of it sounds like a general anxiety problem. If you get yourself to a GP he may prescribe you something herbal or otherwise to help you relax, and see if your problems persist afterwards. OCD isn't so much considered a taboo mental illness like depression can be; in fact, a lot of people seem oddly pleased to show symptoms of it. I'm sure your GP will be understanding.

Reply 13

i think i have ocd in my family...if thats possible, my aunty has more severe ocd although its better now, when she was younger she constantly had her fingers under the tap and counldnt bare to touch door handles. Ive got less of a case, i sometimes have to wash my hands several times before i feel i can touch anything or eat and i am constantly looking behind me making sure i havnt dropped something. When i had pet ducks i also used to check on them up to 5/6 times at night at 20 mins intervals before i could sleep. Its just one of those things. It doesnt affect me atall, although it makes me a bit stressful sometimes because i spend all my time worrying,...if youve read my vet posts youd know lol,...

theres me saying dont worry...ironic

Reply 14

I have a form of OCD. It affects me quite a lot although i try to fight it as much as possible. I went to the doctors when I was younger and he refered me to a psychiatrist, who told me it wasn't OCD and that it was 'part of me'.
To be honest I think that is a load of crap, I'm pretty sure it is OCD as I have obsessions with objects really, and my body. Very, very very annoying. You would be surprised how many people suffer from it though; guess there are worse things you could have.

Reply 15

I used to have a mild form of OCD I think. I used to have to do things 3 times, for example. That meant coughing 3 times, touching things 3 times, washing my hands 3 times. I didn't do it with everything but it was bad enough. I also used to make my handwriting very small, almost illegible, and my teachers complained about this because they couldn't read it. I don't know why I did it; but it was just a phase because I no longer feel the need to do it. I did nothing about my obsessions and they went away, but like others have said, there would be no harm in seeing your GP about this :smile: .

Reply 16

:frown: I feel for you.

I have mild OCD with my work, sometimes I've found myself re-writing notes up to 4 times just so they are perfect (in my mind).

Reply 17

I'm almost certain that i have OCD, I havent been to see a doctor although i've been advised by many people to do so. I tried talking to my parents about it but they don't believe that i have a problem. My obsessions are starting to effect the things i do on a daily basis :frown: Some of my obsessions are:

*Obsessive door locking - I check the doors over and over again to make sure they're locked. Even if my parents tell me they've locked them i still have to keep checking.
*I can't touch other peoples food, doing dishes is a nightmare it sometimes takes me up to an hour to wash just 4 peoples dishes because i have to do it a certain way. Parents once again think i'm making excuses but its not :frown:
*Hair pulling - Apparantly this is common with OCD sufferers its known as trichlomania or something. I started off just pulling split ends off my hair but now i pull full strands :frown:
*If i write a whole page of writing and i make a mistake on the very last line i have to re-write the whole page.
*I have a thing about even numbers and don't like the numbers 11 and 13 but i think 12 is ok :s
*If someone makes me food i have to check it for "germs" it sound rediculous because you can't even see germs but meh its stupid.
*I have to say the same thing to my mum 3 times before i go to bed, if i don't say it 3 times i get myself into a state that something has happened to her. If i've only said it to her twice and shes asleep i have to go check that shes ok.

I'm hoping that my parents will actually realise that this isn't just making excuses, these things really do effect what i do each day. I feel i can't go to the doctors because if my own parents don't believe me then what if the doctor won't believe me either. I really sympathise with the OP because i know how horrible these "rituals" can be.

Reply 18

brown
I used to have a mild form of OCD I think. I used to have to do things 3 times, for example. That meant coughing 3 times, touching things 3 times, washing my hands 3 times. I didn't do it with everything but it was bad enough. I also used to make my handwriting very small, almost illegible, and my teachers complained about this because they couldn't read it. I don't know why I did it; but it was just a phase because I no longer feel the need to do it. I did nothing about my obsessions and they went away, but like others have said, there would be no harm in seeing your GP about this :smile: .


Ditto on the handwriting. I couldn't write with a pen, I always wrote with a pencil and very lightly. It was almost illegible, I grew out of the light part, but I still am really uncomfortable writing with a pen which made it very difficult to write exams in comfort..

Reply 19

It gets easier and less severe as you get older.