Does anyone know how to kill your emotions?

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FeralGator
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I have been suffering from depression, anxiety, paranoia, ptsd, bpd, and low to no self esteem for over 12 agonizing years. My brain even lacks the ability to produce seratonin normally. It literally cant make happiness. Everything has been falling apart this past week and i dont know how to handle it anymore. Im so tired all the time.

Please... If there is anything i can do to destroy my emotions i need to know. Life just isnt worth all this pain. I dont want to die or anything. I just... I just dont want to feel anything anymore.
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jordanshelley97
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Life is only what you make of it, even if things happen in your body and mind that make you 'different'
In my experience, suffering from things like that makes day to day life more difficult, but that only really counts from when you are at home not doing much, that is when it takes over. However if you go out, do something that you know you enjoy even if you don't get a thrill from thinking about it anymore, it just takes everything off your mind and feels good

It's easy to think 'this sucks I want it to go away' but we've got to play with the cards we are dealt. We've got to make the most of it
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thisbird
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Maybe you could try doing exercise? I know this sounds pretty cliche, but like the guy above said, it's worse to stay inside and dwell on them, it makes it worse. You could make it fun like find a place you've always wanted to visit and go for a long walk there. Try and avoid sad music.

Also, find what you love doing, and make some goals and just focus on that. Then make baby steps towards those goals slowly slowly and then as you go through it, then you can start ticking off your steps and it might boost your confidence. I know that it's really difficult when you're battling with your own mind and you just want to feel numb instead of feeling the pain and to shut the voices in your head, but try to slowly slowly push yourself towards a goal. Any goal that involves you doing what you love. That got me through some real tough times. If you're finding it difficult to because of what others are thinking, then put some upbeat music on. Sorry, because of what you THINK others are thinking Even if you don't feel like it. As you gradually keep doing it every day, over and over, it'll start becoming a habit and it'll get easier. Dare to dream big and then cut it into baby manageable steps. You might think, "who am I to even try to do anything". Well I'm asking you, who are you NOT to try. A lot of people start from the bottom, and you know what, some kid one day is gonna need you. Yes, they will, it's a fact. Just because you don't see it now, doesn't mean it ain't gonna happen I may not understand exactly what you're going through, but I did used to wonder in some dark times how on earth would my situation change. Yet somehow it did. And it got better. Hold on, keep going

P.S. sorry for the long post :P
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ikhan94
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Try talking to someone about it, have you got friends or family you can have a chat with?
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Pinkberry_y
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You can't. It's impossible, that's part of what makes us humans: the fact we feel. Have you tried SSRIs?
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username1539513
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(Original post by FeralGator)
I have been suffering from depression, anxiety, paranoia, ptsd, bpd, and low to no self esteem for over 12 agonizing years. My brain even lacks the ability to produce seratonin normally. It literally cant make happiness. Everything has been falling apart this past week and i dont know how to handle it anymore. Im so tired all the time.

Please... If there is anything i can do to destroy my emotions i need to know. Life just isnt worth all this pain. I dont want to die or anything. I just... I just dont want to feel anything anymore.
Have you tried eating 5-HTP?
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Anonymous #1
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I've had the same wish myself, and I often say if there was some kind of brain surgery to literally cut out my emotions I would undergo it.

However, that's not reality and emotion is what makes us human, or at lease sentient beings. To rid oneselves of all emotion would be very numbing and even dangerous. Some people who don't feel emotion turn to other things to make them feel 'alive' such as risky sex, gambling and crime so the grass it not always greener on the other side.

You need to accept that you can not rid yourself of all emotion but you can work towards managing the ones you've got. I too am in the process of doing this and it isn't easy. You have to take it one step at a time. I think it starts with valuing yourself, including you emotions and knowing that you deserve and have the right to feel content and even to feel happy.
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~Tara~
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It is possible to do but i would never share how. It doesnt result in peace, like we imagine. Its still painful but in a different and profoundly bad way.

What's much more helpful and geared towards survival is working on emotional tolerance and resilience..working to build self esteem and working on being okay with vulnerability. Which i know is so so tough, but possible. Ive had to pull myself back to land of the living after switched off all emotions and i really wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.
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kinkysnowman123
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a captain goes down with his ship
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JusT_DanZ_2020
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(Original post by ~Tara~)
It is possible to do but i would never share how. It doesnt result in peace, like we imagine. Its still painful but in a different and profoundly bad way.

What's much more helpful and geared towards survival is working on emotional tolerance and resilience..working to build self esteem and working on being okay with vulnerability. Which i know is so so tough, but possible. Ive had to pull myself back to land of the living after switched off all emotions and i really wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.
how do you kill your emotions, I want to know how even the cost to it.
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glassalice
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(Original post by FeralGator)
I have been suffering from depression, anxiety, paranoia, ptsd, bpd, and low to no self esteem for over 12 agonizing years. My brain even lacks the ability to produce seratonin normally. It literally cant make happiness. Everything has been falling apart this past week and i dont know how to handle it anymore. Im so tired all the time.

Please... If there is anything i can do to destroy my emotions i need to know. Life just isnt worth all this pain. I dont want to die or anything. I just... I just dont want to feel anything anymore.
Firstly, there is no evidence that lack of serotonin is the cause of mental illnesses such as depression. It is is merely an unproven theory because we don't have the ability to test it.

The context behind it: in the wake of benzodiazpines falling out of favour, big pharma presented SSRIs to the world. The chemical imbalance is a neat, easy-to-understand theory that the genral public and many GPs love.

Have you done DBT before? It might be time to practice the emotional regulation skills.
T- (change your) tempreture, go outside in the cool air, hold an ice cube, wash your face.
I- Intense excersize- do 10 star jumps, jog on the spot, do press-ups.
P- paced breathing- try breathing exercises available online, or any you know anyway
P- Paired muscle relaxation

Are you getting any support off crisis?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've had the same wish myself, and I often say if there was some kind of brain surgery to literally cut out my emotions I would undergo it.
You really really wouldn't want a lobotomy.
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