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    This is really long and well I just want some advice on dating and how you know when a lad likes you for who you are...I'm really confused.

    I'm an 18 year old girl and this guy ''Tom'' is 24. We went on our first date together on Thursday. The thing is I'm not very experienced at relationships and have an issue with guys wanting me for sex, I've dated lots in the past but i tend to stop it going any further into a proper relationship because I worry that I'm going to be used or he might not like me for who I am as a person...etc

    Well on Thursday, Tom took to me to lots of pubs, I told him I don't really drink and well he brought me lots of expensive fruity cocktail drinks anyway... After that we went to see Transformers and well he started putting his arm around me, ad yes I was ok with that... but then he started touching me up and I started joking back tickling him. This leaded to him trying to kiss me several of times but I kept turning away and laughing cos I don't really want to kiss on first dates and didn't want to seem EASY.

    After the film, I said I need to get home but he dragged me in the pub where he brought me another drink and tried to kiss me but then I refused.

    We walked to the busstop, I was cold so he gave me his jacket and told me to meet him again on Sunday to return it and go on another date, at the busstop it was only me and him and he started hugging me tightly which I found weird and then all of a sudden he kept kissing me... and told me he felt raunchy... I felt soo bad cos i didn't want to be just used for sex or fun... I wanted to have a good proper relationship .

    Do you think I should forget about him and move on or should I continue seeing him and let time tell?

    Thanks and any advice is appreciated.
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    A question: why the **** haven't you mentioned this to him?
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    A question: why the **** haven't you mentioned this to him?
    I have but he keeps ignoring the topic...and talks about something else...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have but he keeps ignoring the topic...and talks about something else...
    Then the pertinent question revolves around whether or not you can see yourself in a relationship where one party staunchly, obstinately refuses to communicate, despite your insistence. Can you?
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    Well by the sound of it he doesnt really want a serious relationship, but if he hasnt actually said that you should just ask him straight up whether or not he wants a real relationship otherwise you'll never know. He may want one but he may not. If he tries to avoid the question again tell him you want an answer or you cant go any further with him i.e. On any more dates etc.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Then the pertinent question revolves around whether or not you can see yourself in a relationship where one party staunchly, obstinately refuses to communicate, despite your insistence. Can you?
    Well said!
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    Two schools of thought here.

    1. He avoids the subject because he's embarrassed about his actions, and realises he may have overstepped the mark.

    2. He's simply out for what he can get.

    If you had made him aware of your views regarding what is/isn't acceptable on a first date, and he chose to ignore them, my advice would be to drop him a.s.a.p.

    Being a "gentleman" and offering you his coat after having deliberately forced his unwanted attentions on you is a smokescreen.
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    You should tell him to piss off to be honest.

    It's up to both the guy and the lass to agree on how far they take things, the guy doesn't call the shots. If he's ignoring your requests to pack it in then it just shows that he doesn't really respect what you want out of the relationship and is just looking for some action.

    I really think you should dump him because if you don't and this keeps up, he's going to end up getting frustrated and dumping you anyway, possibly calling you "frigid" (even though the problem clearly lies with him).

    If a guy wants to set the pace and you're not happy with it, then either he adjusts to suit you or he should be on his bike.
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    All he wants is sex.
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    First of all tell him what you want, and if he doesn't want the same then I would move on and find someone who does.
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    **** him, what a *******.

    sorry, but seriously, im a guy, but i would think some girls would find that repulsive.

    and dave, i like ur avatar
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    Aww thanks very much for the comments, I didn't really expect anything cos I thought it seem like a daft situation.

    The thing is this guy Tom is really confident, flirty and seems like the kind of guy to charm lots of girls judging by his myspace and facebook comments and the way he acts with his girl mates :s... makes me kinda uncomfortable haha. He's arrogant as well which puts me off abit... BUT his sense of humour makes me like him more...

    Were totally the opposite, I'm shy, not too forward, dont have much relationship experiences whereas he has loads...

    Anyway, I'll talk to him again about how I feel again...

    and thanks onces again .
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    I know I don't know the guy, but from what you're saying he sounds like a bit of a **** and you're trying to convince yourself otherwise.

    If you're already listing his bad points, saying he makes you uncomfortable and saying his arrogance puts you off a bit, and it's only been one date, then you should really be asking if it's worth it. You shouldn't have to adapt to suit his needs, there should really be a "click".

    He's 24, you're 18. It seems he thinks he can use his "arrogance" and "sense of humour" to work his charm with a younger, more immature girl (and I don't mean that as an insult my lass, just that in general 18 year-olds aen't as wise in the head or experienced as those in their mid-20's) and win her over so he can get some action out of her.

    Tell him to piss off.
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    He sounds like all he is after is sex. It's harsh but from what you've said it comes across that way. As someone else has mentioned why don't you try talking to him about it, see what his real intentions are. If you aren't happy then move on - the only way you can be used is if you let yourself be.
 
 
 
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