Should I tell people about my past?

Announcements Posted on
Four things that unis think matter more than league tables 08-12-2016
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have posted this accidently on the wrong forum before, I'm sorry.

    Anonymous #1 Thread Starter 1 8 minutes ago Report post I had selective mutism throughout high school so I never really spoke to anyone and people used to make fun of me and call me 'the girl who does not speak'. I really wanted to move school and start again but a councillor suggested I go to this small school/centre (basically a PRU but not for naughty kids or anything) where other students who had problems such as victim of bullying or anxiety went. I moved here halfway through year 10 and overcame my selective mutism, became move confident, completed my GCSE's ect. After I joined a sixth form in a school that had just opened. One of the common problems was when people asked me the previous school I went to. I always used to say my actual secondary school before I got referred to the centre. I was too scared to tell everyone that I never went to a 'proper school'. Luckily nobody ever found out. I moved to college to restart my a levels this year, due to rubbish teachers and wanting to change subjects. I've made new friends and told them the name of my sixth form if they asked where I came from. However when they asked where I went to before I then say again the name of the school I went to before the centre. Sometimes I get scared that people will find out the truth about my past (rare they'll find out but ways include them knowing someone from my original school or bumping into someone from my original school in front of them) and will judge me and I'll get embarrassed. Do you think what I'm doing is wrong? Do you think I should reveal the truth? I really don't want to though...
    p.s as well as this I am constantly worrying about the future and that employees will look down on me for attending this centre.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have posted this accidently on the wrong forum before, I'm sorry.

    Anonymous #1 Thread Starter 1 8 minutes ago Report post I had selective mutism throughout high school so I never really spoke to anyone and people used to make fun of me and call me 'the girl who does not speak'. I really wanted to move school and start again but a councillor suggested I go to this small school/centre (basically a PRU but not for naughty kids or anything) where other students who had problems such as victim of bullying or anxiety went. I moved here halfway through year 10 and overcame my selective mutism, became move confident, completed my GCSE's ect. After I joined a sixth form in a school that had just opened. One of the common problems was when people asked me the previous school I went to. I always used to say my actual secondary school before I got referred to the centre. I was too scared to tell everyone that I never went to a 'proper school'. Luckily nobody ever found out. I moved to college to restart my a levels this year, due to rubbish teachers and wanting to change subjects. I've made new friends and told them the name of my sixth form if they asked where I came from. However when they asked where I went to before I then say again the name of the school I went to before the centre. Sometimes I get scared that people will find out the truth about my past (rare they'll find out but ways include them knowing someone from my original school or bumping into someone from my original school in front of them) and will judge me and I'll get embarrassed. Do you think what I'm doing is wrong? Do you think I should reveal the truth? I really don't want to though...
    p.s as well as this I am constantly worrying about the future and that employees will look down on me for attending this centre.
    I think you are at a point in your life (college) where you still relate to things like which school you went to, as you all have this in common and its one of those markers in your life your peers use to sus you out, it tells them who you know and dont know etc. Only people local to your area find it relevant.

    But once you get out of college the importance of things like this diminishes rapidly as you have other experiences to relate to, people you meet and associate with won't necessarily be from the same place as you.

    Employers technically cant use it against you its descrimination, and again only employers with knowledge of the school in your area may or may not form bad associations with going there.

    I dont think you should worry too much, sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be honest, but the vast majority of people will not hold it against you, only a very small minority of *******s. Problems can occur at any age as well so half the people who you think will judge you now will go on to have their own mental health issues, be alcoholics etc.

    If you have really close friends you feel should know then try one of them, if there's one thing thats universal to everyone the situation is rarely as bad as you think it is in your head, everyone does it. Most people are understanding decent human beings and the person you are as a child is nothing like the person youll become over the next few years, and at this point in your life things move rapidly.
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think you should feel a need to tell anyone. The likelihood is they won't find out and if they did they will probably understand why you lied. As far as being judged, given people know you already I think they're unlikely to judge you, they will have an impression of who you are now and something from the past is unlikely to change that hugely.

    As far as employers, would they even recognise the school name as a PRU? even if they did, if you've demonstrated all the skills and so on you need I don't see any reason they'd hold something that happened as a child against you
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 19, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
Do you think you'll achieve your predicted A Level grades?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.