Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

My alpha female sister in law.

My sister in law is an alpha female with a sly agenda that is beginning to show more and more. She's trying to change us too much and I ****ing hate it.

She comes from a background of medicine at a highly prestigious uni in London whilst our family are average people from a small town.
She is very girly, whereas she has described me as a "plain jane" in the past.

I'm noticing more and more that she is making digs at me/my family now.
She bought me a jumper from holiday and said to me "now you can wear this for the whole of winter" which was a dig at me because I don't make too many outfit switches if I'm just sitting at home.

She bought me a handbag another time as a graduation gift and I am so appreciative of her gifts to me but then she throws up a dig like "now you finally have your first handbag" when actually I own quite a few that I've bought but I just don't feel the need to boast or show them off.

My family member is getting married and she's ensured that the dates fit her and her family's schedule regardless of the bride's family. she's controlling the whole process and getting us to spend thousands of pounds on it because she wants to impress her parents who will be coming to it and wants to be able to say that she organised this for her own ego and pride. The things she is doing is so unrealistic but my mum is listening and saying yes to everything she says because she's such an alpha female and is able to manipulate her.

When the bride's family came to our house she made sure that she was the alpha female out of all of the girls that were in the room and was boasting about her life and upbringing. This clearly made them feel uncomfortable since their family live a very simple life and don't have the money that her parents or my parents have.

There are so many incidents of her throwing shade our way and now she's crossing the line and talking disrespectfully about my parents. But my brother does this himself in front of her so obviously now she too thinks it's okay to treat us all like ****.

She is just so alpha and there's no winning against my brother and her because my mum has spoilt them too much and now they can do and say what they like. Everything is always on their terms.

They're both especially rude to my mum and then my mum will take her anger out on me as well.

It's just such a hopeless case because my parents don't want any drama with her or her family and I feel worthless compared to her, but we are all feeling this way towards her and my brother now.

Reply 1

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

It's just such a hopeless case because my parents don't want any drama with her or her family and I feel worthless compared to her, but we are all feeling this way towards her and my brother now.

The first bit all sounded tedious.

The highlighted but was concerning and sad.

Not sure what age you are, but assuming you were at school, then I would refuse the gifts or make excuses for her not to give you any and then you wouldnt have to feel beholden to her. Im not saying either way whether its a genuine gift or whether she buys them then seeks to belittle you at the same time. I could do without the latter. I just wouldnt play her games or listen to much of what she has to say.

Study hard do well at school, get a good degree, get your independence and then you wont have to have much dealings with her at all. She wont stop until she knows she cnat mess with you. Syop comparing yourself to her, its pointless. have confidence in the person you are and what youve already or will achieve.