The Student Room Group

Perfection

Thought i would start a thread to see if anyone can help me out! When i look for a girl, i always seem to need perfection to be fully committed to the relationship. Not just physically, but intelectually also. (i mean perfection in my definition of course)

I don't mean to sound arrogant even though it is impossible not to, but i do pretty well with girls, but i am never able to commit, as, excuse the phrase, but, i get bored very easily, and i never seem to get perfection.

Is this problem due to my immaturity, as i am still only 18, or perhaps due to some issues i have with my own narcissism, reflected in how i see other people?
Reply 1
I'd say that there's nothing wrong in holding out for what you consider to be perfection before you commit. No more than when people wait for 'The One' before they get married. I'd be a little concerned if your idea of perfection was limited soley to what's presented in the media, but that's another issue. Don't let it stop you giving people a try, whatever you do. The strangest mixes are sometimes perfect for each other.
I don't think it's narcissism. It's not all that uncommon either. No one wants a girlfriend who has some sort of irritating habit. But as you grow up you'll probably realise that relationships aren't about having people just neatly slot into your life, they're about compromise. Every couple rows. Every two people who've been together for a good few months have disagreed over something. Only the ones who stay together love each other in spite of all that and don't care about their differences. That's a question of maturity, and it will come sooner or later, and you'll loosen up to some extent.

In a nutshell, I'm sure you'll "grow out of it".
Reply 3
thank you for the advice. What do you recommend for the time being, should i attempt to commit with them now, and compromise....essentially forcing maturity on myself, or shall i wait for it to come naturally. haha
Reply 4
Don't force yourself to do anything. If you meet a girl you like, spend as much time with her as makes you both happy. You don't have to commit; and even if you did make things official and then regret it, you're not marrying her. Just tell her it's over. You need to make some sort of effort, but don't go trying to bring about a state of mind that (hopefully) comes with maturity. I'm 18 and Hellishly anti-commitment. It's no big deal. I still have fun. :smile: