This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

"Clingy" - men's definition?

I was just wondering, what men actually define as "clingy"?

Is it only clingyness if your partner is always checking up on to see where you're at or wat you're doing or who you're with, is always coming round, never lets you go out with your friends on your own etc.?

Or is it also "clingy" if, for example, if she always texts you, but not to "check up", jst to tell you things or to say she misses you, or sends you msgs and emails online etc.?

Reply 1

Gilliwoo

Broadly speaking, I think clinginess is about trying to live your entire life inside the relationship, rather than making the relationship a part of your wider life.

Reply 2

Flank Runner

the former of your two options

Reply 3

jaw

3

Gilliwoo

Broadly speaking, I think clinginess is about trying to live your entire life inside the relationship, rather than making the relationship a part of your wider life.

i think both in a way, always texting is fine, and calling, but when she then says ''why didnt you reply'' or ''why didnt you answer'' it's clingy.. same for when she constantly asks who you're with etc and gets annoyed if you're with anyone but her.. and like gilliwoo said, trying to live the entire life inside the relationship..

Reply 4

Firearm

I see clingyness at , like someone said living your life inside a relationship.

But also things like becoming emotionally dependent on you, and not having the independence to set back once in a while.

Texting someone 'I mis you' is fine, but texting them 'I miss you, i can''t continue wihtout you, i can't cope not seeing you, i feel i might do something irrational' - is clingy.

Also, seeking approval for everything you do is something i perceive as clingy.

Reply 5

username47781

20

The way I see clingyness is, being bomarded with texts every 2 minutes, especially when you are out with your mates and your other half keeps asking where are you?, who are you with?

You see your other half most days in the week and they still moan they don't see you enough.

Reply 6

stoney

12

strawberrykisses123

I was just wondering, what men actually define as "clingy"?

Is it only clingyness if your partner is always checking up on to see where you're at or wat you're doing or who you're with, is always coming round, never lets you go out with your friends on your own etc.?

Or is it also "clingy" if, for example, if she always texts you, but not to "check up", jst to tell you things or to say she misses you, or sends you msgs and emails online etc.?

The former of the two. I think the latter is quite cute.

Reply 7

generalebriety

16

strawberrykisses123

I was just wondering, what men actually define as "clingy"?

Is it only clingyness if your partner is always checking up on to see where you're at or wat you're doing or who you're with, is always coming round, never lets you go out with your friends on your own etc.?

Or is it also "clingy" if, for example, if she always texts you, but not to "check up", jst to tell you things or to say she misses you, or sends you msgs and emails online etc.?

The latter is alright. The former is just ****ing annoying. As Gilliwoo said, clingy people are the ones who get in a relationship and remember that they also have a life outside of it.

Reply 8

Poica

14

Hm. Well I'm a girl, but I've always dumped my boyfriends for being too clingy. And for me - both of those things count as clingy.

I guess some people need more space than others...

Reply 9

WorkHouse

12

Poica

Hm. Well I'm a girl, but I've always dumped my boyfriends for being too clingy. And for me - both of those things count as clingy.

I guess some people need more space than others...

Same here. Need my space

Reply 10

username21537

2

Is it possible to ask about going outness just to be interested, but not clingy? Say, if you dont make a thing about whoever s/he is going with, wherever theyre going?

Reply 11

invisible_gal

Does anyone think it's clingy to text your bf or gf every day? Or is that seen as ok?

Reply 12

Dude

14

invisible_gal

Does anyone think it's clingy to text your bf or gf every day? Or is that seen as ok?

I'd be worried if they didn't talk to me at least once a day, but trying to spend every minute of every day together is what I see as clingy.

A man needs some time alone and with his mates without his girlfriend on his arm.

Reply 13

invisible_gal

That's ok then, just checking I'm not being clingy. I'm rather insecure in relationships due to previous ones that really ended up in a mess for me, so I worry my current bf will skip out on me cos of all that. Sorry for all that rambling there!

Reply 14

strawberrykisses123

OP

it's fine - it's wat i started the thread for!
I never thought I was clingy, and never had issues with it, until I was jst thinkin abt it the other day and realized that I text my bf at least once a day, and spk to him on msn, and msg him on facebook/email him if he's not online, and see him at least every other day... which is quite a lot more than I ever used to in previous relationships!

Reply 15

Dittoo

2

I love it when a girlfriend comes round alot, gives me something to do. If your in a relationship, you should enjoy seeing eachother. I also like little texts like 'miss you', 'goodnight' etc.

I don't like texts to check up on me, or if i dont reply to a text, a barrage of texts and calls until i text back. Thats clingyness.

I should also be able to keep my other friends as close as i used to, and other girls that im friends with shouldnt be seen as a threat.

Reply 16

socialist cook

8

I occasionally get worried that I've been clingy in the past with my boyfriend as I ring him every single day(he lives in Durham and I live in Plymouth hence the difficulty in seeing one another regularly).

He said to me this weekend "I'd be worried if you didn't ring me every single day". :smile:

Reply 17

capitalP

Think we can see it depends on the individual.

For me it would be going out with friends and GF..and the Gf wanting to sit with me all night and hold myattention. When I actually want to mix with my mates too..but finish the night with her most of the time :smile:

Let the man do his thing...if he comes back to you he is worth your effort :smile:

Even calling eveyrday is a little much for me..but then Ive always been a fan of email/facebook for little things :smile:

or face to face

Reply 18

username43584

8

There's such a fine line. All relationships are different - my last bf was a bit clingy but I didn't really mind. He'd text me everyday and we went out all the time...in fact he seldom went out with his mates. Fortunately it was a short relationship...that probably would have got on my nerves.

With my current fella it's reversed. We went out quite a bit at the start but less now for various reasons. We're limited in the time we can go out because our work hours clash, and he seems to be filling up the time he does have with going out with his mates. He even told me that one Saturday he originally planned to surprise with tickets to a comedy show but then he'd decided not to in the end because he wanted to go out with his mates instead. The only time I've been out with him in the past few weeks is a couple of hours squeezed in between him seeing other people, and I'm a little annoyed as we used to go clubbing on a Wednesday night but he's put off going for the past few weeks because he's got work at 6 the next morning (I can totally understand this), but he told me today that he intended to go out dancing with a friend tomorrow night.

Does anyone think I'm being clingy or do I have a case? I don't want to bring this up with him unless I actually do have a case, because he'll just accuse me of being hormonal or something. I'm definitely not clingy in the sense that I'll cry if he doesn't text me everyday (because he doesn't, and I don't do the same to him) but I would just like to see him a bit more. I, of course, understand that he has to see his mates. In fact, I want him to see his mates, because I know I'd go crazy if I couldn't see mine and I also know I don't want him to suffocate me by taking over all my free time like my ex did. But I just feel that he could make a little more time for me...actually set aside a night a week when we can go out, instead of squeezing me in before or after he sees his mates.

Reply 19

PatchTheCatch

6

I would love a clingy girlfriend ^^ someone who actually liked going out, jeez my last girlfriend I wanted to go out with her on Valentine's day, I see this as a fairly validated excuse to spend time with your better half, what does she do, tell's me not to bother and breaks up with me BLEGH. So aye I would like a girlfriend to actually spend time with me, stay over all the time, go on holidays, come out with eachothers mates etc.

Too clingy however I think would be when they are suspicious of your female friends, but then that's just having no trust and I couldn't be in a relationship without trust.

So aye this is just my view but yeah, I don't think you can be too clingy without it being something else aswell.