Stuck in a situation

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    Tl:dr I'm a very confused person, if you want a short read just read about guy B and give me advice on him. If you've got more time to spare or are feeling extra nice then some advice on guy A as well would be appreciated.



    Ok so this will be easier if I talk about guy A and B first and tell you about them
    A: at uni together, same course. I don't fancy him AT ALL, I couldn't See him more like a brother if I tried and we've been friends since the first day of university. I didn't realise he liked me until January time when my friends started noticing and pointing things out. Even then I denied it. He hadn't asked me out anyway (which I was glad about). He always comes up to me and says hi etc but I just thought he was being friendly. In June we were all out and he tried to kiss me at this bar but he was drunk and I knew he'd probably forget it in the morning but anyway I told him no and said were just friends. A week later we were all clubbing and I was REALLY drunk (like black out) and all I remember is standing outside and talking to him but don't remember what I said, apparently I humiliated him because I repeatedly told him he was such a lovely and nice guy and like a best friend. And he got all offended for a while then he apologised a week later but I was just confused about the whole thing because I didn't even remember what I'd said to him. So come summer holiday we talked a bit at the beginning but these past couple of weeks he calls me or if j miss his call I'll call him and we'll talk for like an hour or two. He keeps asking me when I'll be back at our uni city and once I gave him a date he's like yes were meeting up. Thing is I know deep down he likes me as more than a friend but I really really really don't like him like that. In my head I've even tried to but I can't do it I just don't see him like that, but he's such a great friend and I can talk to him about anything

    Guy B: met him online on dating app, we matched and I started the conversation. Initially he was so late with replies that I thought he didn't like me but then he started saying he was busy with holidays etc but now he's not and he'll give me his full attention. Which made me happy and I think I liked him quite a bit but thing is he spoke.. Oddly on there, can't explain but the language he used was just very, old school. So he asked me out on a date and I said yes straight away but then the way he spoke freaked me out and I started over thinking things and showed the convo to 2 of my friends who were both like WTF is this guy what a weirdo. One of my friends said I should still go on the date but the other was like I really wouldn't be sound odd. By this point I was vomitting everytime I even thought of going on the date because I became anxious. Anyway so I cancelled the date and told him I was busy and not looking for anything so I'll be deleting that dating app account as well and deleted it. And that's what I regret because at the time I was fine and actually relieved but it's been a week since and now I miss talking to him so much. The only thing I have him on is insta but I can hardly message him now can I? I miss him which is weird cos I don't know him what do I do about him???
    And what do I do about guy A?? I'm perfectly happy having long chats and hanging out with him if it's just friends but I don't want him getting the wrong idea and one of my friends keeps telling me I'm being cruel to him by even talking to him.

    Could I mainly get help on guy B though please
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tl:dr I'm a very confused person, if you want a short read just read about guy B and give me advice on him. If you've got more time to spare or are feeling extra nice then some advice on guy A as well would be appreciated.



    Ok so this will be easier if I talk about guy A and B first and tell you about them
    A: at uni together, same course. I don't fancy him AT ALL, I couldn't See him more like a brother if I tried and we've been friends since the first day of university. I didn't realise he liked me until January time when my friends started noticing and pointing things out. Even then I denied it. He hadn't asked me out anyway (which I was glad about). He always comes up to me and says hi etc but I just thought he was being friendly. In June we were all out and he tried to kiss me at this bar but he was drunk and I knew he'd probably forget it in the morning but anyway I told him no and said were just friends. A week later we were all clubbing and I was REALLY drunk (like black out) and all I remember is standing outside and talking to him but don't remember what I said, apparently I humiliated him because I repeatedly told him he was such a lovely and nice guy and like a best friend. And he got all offended for a while then he apologised a week later but I was just confused about the whole thing because I didn't even remember what I'd said to him. So come summer holiday we talked a bit at the beginning but these past couple of weeks he calls me or if j miss his call I'll call him and we'll talk for like an hour or two. He keeps asking me when I'll be back at our uni city and once I gave him a date he's like yes were meeting up. Thing is I know deep down he likes me as more than a friend but I really really really don't like him like that. In my head I've even tried to but I can't do it I just don't see him like that, but he's such a great friend and I can talk to him about anything

    Guy B: met him online on dating app, we matched and I started the conversation. Initially he was so late with replies that I thought he didn't like me but then he started saying he was busy with holidays etc but now he's not and he'll give me his full attention. Which made me happy and I think I liked him quite a bit but thing is he spoke.. Oddly on there, can't explain but the language he used was just very, old school. So he asked me out on a date and I said yes straight away but then the way he spoke freaked me out and I started over thinking things and showed the convo to 2 of my friends who were both like WTF is this guy what a weirdo. One of my friends said I should still go on the date but the other was like I really wouldn't be sound odd. By this point I was vomitting everytime I even thought of going on the date because I became anxious. Anyway so I cancelled the date and told him I was busy and not looking for anything so I'll be deleting that dating app account as well and deleted it. And that's what I regret because at the time I was fine and actually relieved but it's been a week since and now I miss talking to him so much. The only thing I have him on is insta but I can hardly message him now can I? I miss him which is weird cos I don't know him what do I do about him???
    And what do I do about guy A?? I'm perfectly happy having long chats and hanging out with him if it's just friends but I don't want him getting the wrong idea and one of my friends keeps telling me I'm being cruel to him by even talking to him.

    Could I mainly get help on guy B though please
    For A, just say only friends, don't be super nice just straight up say we're only going to be friends sorry, won't change peroid.

    For B, just learn from the experience... I always do something like skype video call before meeting up. Just say sorry, not my type might not be nice but its better than putting them in long-term pain wondering wtf went on.

    PS. Don't do this " fake " British politness stuff, idk about others but I find it annoying and a red flag.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ckfeister)
    For A, just say only friends, don't be super nice just straight up say we're only going to be friends sorry, won't change peroid.

    For B, just learn from the experience... I always do something like skype video call before meeting up. Just say sorry, not my type might not be nice but its better than putting them in long-term pain wondering wtf went on.

    PS. Don't do this " fake " British politness stuff, idk about others but I find it annoying and a red flag.
    I have learnt my lesson from B the thing is I think he was my type looking back at it. He must think I'm so odd though for talking to him for weeks then a couple of days before meeting him I say not looking for anything I'm busy. I want to talk to him again so much but I can't now
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have learnt my lesson from B the thing is I think he was my type looking back at it. He must think I'm so odd though for talking to him for weeks then a couple of days before meeting him I say not looking for anything I'm busy. I want to talk to him again so much but I can't now
    We all do those mistakes, talk to him on instagram and be real, odd people I usually find better, sometimes attractive...

    Example..
    I was walking back to college and on this tall wall (idk how he got on there) he had his legs cross and looked like he was waiting for someone to pick him up from college, the wall next to college sign. I laughed a bit not weird in a bad way, but good way... well I think it is... but he seemed like he was nice.

    " Weird ", "odd" is just whats not socially accepted in majority... I keep that in my head so I'm like one of the only non-judgemental people in my class.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ckfeister)
    We all do those mistakes, talk to him on instagram and be real, odd people I usually find better, sometimes attractive...

    Example..
    I was walking back to college and on this tall wall (idk how he got on there) he had his legs cross and looked like he was waiting for someone to pick him up from college, the wall next to college sign. I laughed a bit not weird in a bad way, but good way... well I think it is... but he seemed like he was nice.

    " Weird ", "odd" is just whats not socially accepted in majority... I keep that in my head so I'm like one of the only non-judgemental people in my class.
    It's not that he had odd hobbies, it was the way he talked... Can I PM you an example of what he said? Then you'll see what I mean because it's very.. Odd to describe it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not that he had odd hobbies, it was the way he talked... Can I PM you an example of what he said? Then you'll see what I mean because it's very.. Odd to describe it
    Sure
 
 
 
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