Boyfriend doesn't seem to make much effort anymore...

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    Anon because we have mutual friends on here.

    My boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 years now and everything is going really well - he is one of the most thoughtful, caring people I know. The only thing is that I've noticed hes stopped trying when we chat. When we see someone else we know in the street, he's always really polite to them asking questions, making jokes and keeping the conversation flowing.

    However, with me he doesn't seem to put in the same effort like he did before. If I phone him up, he asks me how today is going, I answer and ask how he is and he just says fine. Then silence. So I ask him another question and again I'll get a short answer, followed by silence. So in a bid to keep the conversation going, I start talking about myself and tell him something thats either amusing (or I think it is anyway) or thats happening in my life, and then wait for him to say something - either ask a question, make a comment or just say something. He doesn't... so I just carry on talking about myself. ANd then the "conversation" will continue until I run out of things to say or he/I have to go.

    I think the point of irritation for me is due to the contrast between the way he treats other people compared to me. I'm pretty sure our relationship is solid (he described something a week again when he was talking to someone else and he said to this other people that our relationship was solid), so why is he doing this? AM I being unfair? He has a tiring job but hes also like this on his days off.
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    Sounds like you don't have enough in common.
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    Maybe he doesn't feel like he needs to be talkative all the time since you've been together for so long. Its kinda different when you run into a friends you haven't seen in a while. I mean if he stops wanting to see you all together or doesn't contact you ever then I'd say it's a cause for concern. Have you spoken to him about this? Not sure if you mentioned that in your post or not, but tbh that's the only way you're going to know the answer.
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    (Original post by Donkey******)
    Sounds like you don't have enough in common.
    Personally I think we've got just the right amount in common and get the right amount thats different (buts thats just my opinion). He just doesn't seem very talkative with me anymore...

    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    Maybe he doesn't feel like he needs to be talkative all the time since you've been together for so long. Its kinda different when you run into a friends you haven't seen in a while. I mean if he stops wanting to see you all together or doesn't contact you ever then I'd say it's a cause for concern. Have you spoken to him about this? Not sure if you mentioned that in your post or not, but tbh that's the only way you're going to know the answer.
    He works in the service industry so sometimes it will be a client who we see in the street. Thats true... we still text everyday and meet up 3/4 times a week. I haven't spoken to him for the very reason that I suffer with very bad anxiety and (potentially) minor depression, which I think clouds my judgement. So I tend to talk to friends or post on here before talk to him because I don't want him to feel like I'm constantly having a go at him (so I tend to only bring things up a few days after the instance or not at all :P). The last couple of times this has happened he has sent me messages apologising and just saying that he is tired or he has to get something done.... it just seems like there is always an excuse (which combined with my anxiety) makes me nervous.

    Tbh as I talk more about it I feel more silly and like its my anxiety... which explains exactly why I posted it on here rather than talk to him :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Personally I think we've got just the right amount in common and get the right amount thats different (buts thats just my opinion). He just doesn't seem very talkative with me anymore...



    He works in the service industry so sometimes it will be a client who we see in the street. Thats true... we still text everyday and meet up 3/4 times a week. I haven't spoken to him for the very reason that I suffer with very bad anxiety and (potentially) minor depression, which I think clouds my judgement. So I tend to talk to friends or post on here before talk to him because I don't want him to feel like I'm constantly having a go at him (so I tend to only bring things up a few days after the instance or not at all :P). The last couple of times this has happened he has sent me messages apologising and just saying that he is tired or he has to get something done.... it just seems like there is always an excuse (which combined with my anxiety) makes me nervous.

    Tbh as I talk more about it I feel more silly and like its my anxiety... which explains exactly why I posted it on here rather than talk to him :P
    You don't even live together, and you can't find anything to talk about? Wow, either he's found someone else, or you don't have enough in common so have nothing to talk about.
 
 
 
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