I found out my boyfriend of 6 months was keeping in touch with a girl he had met from a dating site before he met me. They had dated 2 weeks and slept together before he met me.
I was really upset about this, especially as she had been giving him so much attention on facebook for our entire relationship- liking everything he posts, sending him very long messages about her fun she is, and asking for nights out with him.. He didn't even tell me this, I had to find out myself when I was using his computer and her message to him showed on the screen on the chrome notification. What also upset me was that she had even randomly appeared at events he had said he was going to on facebook, and on one occasion, he stopped me from going to one of these and he himself didn't go.. And she messaged him telling him all about how that night was. I still think he stopped us from going because he knew she'd be there.
After a few tearful arguments, he understood it couldn't go on. His opinion was she was just being friendly, but I could see clearly what she had been doing for months and months. I had enough, and finally he deleted her from facebook and told me they don't talk any more.
I think she can still see things he's attending on facebook events.. and on one coming up this weekend, it says she's going. I'm so scared about what might happen there. I'm scared she'll 'bump into him' again and hug him.. or cling to him all night. I'm scared he'll see me as being clingy for not wanting this girl around him- I can honestly tell from her constant attention and messages to him that she has bad intentions and wants him. It's making me crazy and paranoid that they might still be messaging.
What can I do if she shows up at our usual pubs/event nights that she had never been to until she saw he goes there? Should I say something to her about what's happened- and what can I do if she wants to hang with him there/acts like they're friends? I feel so helpless on her actions and my boyfriend doesn't seem to get that she's trouble. He's told me they don't talk but I find it hard to trust without seeing it for myself.
... my heart's just not in it