The Student Room Group

Im a freak...

Im surposed to start university in september and am looking forward to the academic side, but not the social side. Ever since I finished year 11, starting and throughout sixth form I stopped talking to all my friends due to major shyness occuring, dont know why. So basically have had a very unsociable two years. All I do is work to raise funds for september, stay in and read. Im seriously worried that on this basis the next 3 years will be very unrewarding and more lonely, despite enabling me to get a degree. Im not a bad person, Im just very quiet, boring, simple and very introverted. Should I bother with university at all? Or just stay in doors for the rest of my life like a hermit.
Of course go to uni, it will change you for the better as there will be so many new people and you'll be able to make a fresh start, make new friends etc which will cause you to be more sociable and confident.
I was in your shoes - had a few close friends throughout lower years at school and drifted away from them during the GCSE years. To cut a long story short, I was bullied during those couple of years, and I completely crept into my shell. A-Level years were pretty miserable - bullies had gone, but my friendships weren't as close as they used to be, and I felt like a bit of an outsider. My social skills were pretty much 0 and although I spent time with them at school, I did virtually nothing outside.

Things did change when I went to uni - managed to become close to a couple of people, and through them I was introduced to new people. I started going out and having a laugh. Granted, my social skills are still pretty lame, but because I was close to a couple of people, I could still have a laugh and feel... wanted. Sure, I'm withdrawn at times, but I guess I feel more accepted now.
Just think of it as an opportunity to start afresh - these people don't know you, don't know any of the issues you've had in the past. You can be whatever person you want to be around them. Try and build up your confidence and give it a shot - you'll be able to do it without embarrassment, as these people aren't to know that your not that type of person 'normally'. If you get me.

:smile:
Indeed. Do go.

You may find, [because the impression I get, you're not trying as such, to become more "sociable" or "confident"] that you find a collection of people, whom like you, don't want to expand on a social life. In finding these people, you'll most liklely create one. :p:

My point being, there'll be plenty of people in the same boat. There's bound to be, somewhere.

Stop worrying; enjoy it. :smile: I'm sure it'll be fine.
Reply 4
going to uni forces you to talk to people. for the first few weeks you spend half your time introducing yourself to people socially and in class whether you'd like to or not. i kind of think you should spend the time before then thinking about how to conquer your shyness, find somewhere to go and meet people. you don't have to be interesting to be a nice person and maintain banal conversation.
I'm the same, but I'm told that universities are made up of all sorts. I'm scared that most of the friendships are forged during freshers week, and since I don't drink and i'm not a big party person, I'll get left out. But I doubt I'll be the only one like that. I'm sure (well, I hope) that our fears are unfounded!
in past months i've been suicidal and in the latest of months i've been diognosed and medicated as having deppression .

i would don't have the qualifications to go uni and if i could go i would. as far as making friends , there is no better place to meet them i wish i had the abilities's to go.

take advantage of it it will make or brake you either way its better than just existing.

i hope you find happieness within as i long for.
It's up to you in the end. I'd say give it a go as you never know what's going to happen :smile:
you can stay inside but part of you i'm sure will regret it for a long time

hope it goes well

xx
Reply 8
University involves alot of drinking.
Alcohol + Getting Wasted = More Talkative.
Go out, have fun.. Stop taking life so serious and calling yourself 'boring and simple'.. your not, you just need to find the right people to be outgoing with. And Uni + Alcohol will help you along the way... Peace out
i'ma three legged juggler and i find your use of the word "freak" offensive.
Anonymous
Im surposed to start university in september and am looking forward to the academic side, but not the social side. Ever since I finished year 11, starting and throughout sixth form I stopped talking to all my friends due to major shyness occuring, dont know why. So basically have had a very unsociable two years. All I do is work to raise funds for september, stay in and read. Im seriously worried that on this basis the next 3 years will be very unrewarding and more lonely, despite enabling me to get a degree. Im not a bad person, Im just very quiet, boring, simple and very introverted. Should I bother with university at all? Or just stay in doors for the rest of my life like a hermit.


The question is howbadly do you want to change things? The more disturbed you become by the current state the more likely you'll do something tochange the situation.You just need to convince yourself that when you get to university, you will do everything in your power to overcome the shyness. Overcome the fear - the only thing you have to lose are your dreams.
Reply 11
I was the same as you and my parents knew it. Before I left, they kept telling me "Go out at night, just head to the pub and make some friends". So do just that.

On your first week there, just knock on one of your dorm mates rooms and ask if they want to go to the pub.
Prince Rhyus
The question is howbadly do you want to change things? The more disturbed you become by the current state the more likely you'll do something tochange the situation.You just need to convince yourself that when you get to university, you will do everything in your power to overcome the shyness. Overcome the fear - the only thing you have to lose are your dreams.


Absolutee - will help the OP needs of awake call!!
Reply 13
Of course you should go. And I think you know it. You are in a position where you know what you want to change about your life; university will give you the perfect opportunity to do it. Don't get down about your life, it's just beginning, really...
Reply 14
pm me for advice... your story and view of yourself mirrors mine