Hi, I'm 19 and am now starting my second year of University. Last year I found it quite difficult settling in and nearly dropped out at one point. I do get very homesick as I'm close with my mum and it's also difficult to visit home as it takes me 5 hours to get home on train and this also costs quite a bit of money. The problem with the homesickness is that it makes me question everything, such as whether I want to be here? Whether I want to be studying this course?
My course is okay. I wouldn't say I absolutely love it but do not hate it either. However realistically I didn't do enough research when applying for it and feel that I predominantly came to University because I didn't know what else I could do. I really wish I'd taken a gap year to decide and explore other options, but I didn't because I didn't want to start a year later than everyone else (stupid, I know).
Logically, I guess that University is the best option. But I'm finding it difficult to cope with being so far away from home and while I do have people I hang out with, I don't really feel like I've bonded with anyone that well. I'm just finding it really hard because it's not like I absolutely hate my course so I'm really indecisive about what to do. I just feel so miserable and that no option will really make me happy. I really wish there was a way for me to take a year out, but don't think that is possible. If I just came home I don't know what I could do and am worried I'd just end up in a crappy minimum wage job for the rest of my life.
What should I do?
I don't want Oxford to know I only got an A...