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LOW sef-esteem...:(

I feel very negative about myself, aways have. People tell me that i am pretty and stuff but i just do not see it. My boyfriend tells me that i am gorgeous and somedays im just thinking...........huh? :confused:

i really need to start to feel good about myself, this has to be so unhealthy to feel this way. i mean somedays i look in the mirror and think wow i actually look nice but most of the time its just like who is that ugly person looking back at me. :frown:

Reply 1

lily_of_the_valley

What you've just described is exactly how i feel. I don't know if this will help at all, i was talking to my mam about how awful i feel about myself, and she told me to pick one thing, just one, about my body that i actually liked. Took me a while, but i finally picked my eyes. Then she said that every time i start toget depressed over the way i look and stuff, just say to myself "but i like my eyes." it's not much, but it is a start. And think about it, if all these people are saying you're pretty then I doubt they're lying, or just saying it to be polite.

Reply 2

username70704

OMG I am just like you! I look in the mirror and just see this fat, disgusting girls staring back at me. People pity me because I have nothing going for me. To be honest, I cannot think of one single thing that's good about me, but I have plenty to say about my negative traits. It's terrible I know. I TRY talking to my mum about it but she makes me feel even worse by patronising me and comparing me to other people so is it any wonder that I feel this way?

Reply 3

Stue

1

..

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

thx guys i feel a little better now and that idea about the find something good about myself seems like a rally good one

Reply 5

*pink_sapphires*

1

I'm like this too. The other day my friend sent me a text telling me to stop doubting myself. That made me smile. My friends always tell me that I'm pretty and that I'm a nice person but I don't see it myself. I have decided I like my cheeks and my eyes though and I have to say, it DOES help saying that there is part of you that you like. PM me if any of you want to chat :smile:

Reply 6

the_innovator

OP, ur ****ing beautiful. don't let your low self esteem fool you. l8ers.

Reply 7

Dude

14

Wouldn't the fact that you have a boyfriend help your self esteem?

Try practically no experience with the oppisite sex and then you can say that you have low self esteem.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

how old are you dude? and my boyfriend does make me feel better about myself :smile:

i am getting better than i was...

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

I feel very negative about myself, aways have. People tell me that i am pretty and stuff but i just do not see it. My boyfriend tells me that i am gorgeous and somedays im just thinking...........huh? :confused:

i really need to start to feel good about myself, this has to be so unhealthy to feel this way. i mean somedays i look in the mirror and think wow i actually look nice but most of the time its just like who is that ugly person looking back at me. :frown:

I know what you mean, it took me so long to realise that guys could find me attractive and my boyfriend used to get upset because I just couldn't believe it when he said I was beautiful. I still do that looking in the mirror and thinking :frown:

thing though, and still think that guys who find me attractive are quite deluded...

Reply 10

*pink_sapphires*

1

Anonymous

I know what you mean, it took me so long to realise that guys could find me attractive and my boyfriend used to get upset because I just couldn't believe it when he said I was beautiful. I still do that looking in the mirror and thinking :frown:

thing though, and still think that guys who find me attractive are quite deluded...

that is soooo like me!!!! my friends hate it when i say i'm not pretty and i think guys who think i'm attractive are weird! the other day a guy said i was attractive and i gave him a look to say 'yeah right' and he said 'what was that for?' and i said 'because you're lying through your teeth' and i got told off! *sighs* ah well, at least i'm not alone in my low self-esteem-ness

Reply 11

Angrybanana

11

Be what you do, not what you look like. I struggle every day with the feelings you've just described, and I have a boyfriend who will tell me I'm attractive but only as lip service to cheer me up. The only way around it for me is to make the best of myself (go to the gym, wear make-up etc.) which I find gives me the boost I need to hold my head up high.

There is no universal definition of what is beautiful, so concentrate on forging your own style and personality and stick with it. If you give people the impression that you value yourself then they will too.

Another thing to consider is that you are probably at the peak of your physical attractiveness so enjoy it, don't waste it or you will look back when you are in your 60's and regret all those hours you spent in front of the mirror feeling miserable for no good reason I'm sure.

Reply 12

Angrybanana

11

*pink_sapphires*

that is soooo like me!!!! my friends hate it when i say i'm not pretty

They probably get annoyed with it, as it makes them feel like they must be even worse-looking if you don't consider yourself pretty.

Reply 13

Tootles

21

Dude

Wouldn't the fact that you have a boyfriend help your self esteem?

Try practically no experience with the oppisite sex and then you can say that you have low self esteem.

So you're in a similar situation to me, then?

Acting more confident than I actually am sometimes helps. That way, people are more comfortable to say what they think of me (OK, most often nevatige, but you know what I mean).

But having a girlfriend would help a lot. There'd be someone who'd be able to put up with all the depressive nonesense one comes out with and then say "shut up, there's nothing wrong with you."

Reply 14

nezy90

i do feel very low about myself... Being with my boyfriend makes me feel so good. If my dad says im pretty or something i just think yeah but you are supposed to say that and so feel that its not true....

Reply 15

Sanity Panda

While I haven't actually done this myself.

Your probably stuck in a cycle where you compare yourself to others, believing if you had this and that, they you would be better off and more happy. Your happiness and self value has been attached to external factors.

Supposedly we are meant to just accept ourselves, and be happy with what we have at the moment, even if there are aspects we would like to improve. Just because we don't have those things, it doesn't make us worthless.

If you keep believing that you have something, you would feel much better, even after you attain it. You'll set up a new goal to chase and forever trapped in the cycle.

Now I only need to find a way to break out of this cycle myself.

LOW sef-esteem...:(

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