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LNAT Essay Help
Hello, I am currently studying for my LNAT test. I would truly appreciate it if you could give me feedback on my LNAT practice test. In advance, I would like to thank all of those who put their time and effort into helping me and I hope that I can help you back in-return.
LNAT Question: Wearing a burkha in Western countries is just as offensive as wearing a bikini in Arab countries. Do you agree?
Essay:
The burkha is a piece of clothing, similar to a veil that some Muslim women use to cover their face, revealing only their eyes. The bikini is a fashion item that has been adopted internationally, yet it originates from the Western countries. The bikini is a swimsuit, which covers a woman's breasts and pelvis. Western countries find the burkha offensive, it is seen as an oppressive garment that expunges a woman's identity. As for Middle Eastern countries, they once found bikinis to be offensive. However, as they have gradually become popular tourists destinations, they have adopted tolerant policies that are accepting of an array of cultures and religions. The correlation that has been identified in the essay question implies that Western countries are accepting of Arab culture to the same extent as Arab countries are accepting of Western culture. However, I do not agree that wearing a burkha in Western countries is just as offensive as wearing a bikini in Arab countries because as Arab countries have evolved their malleable policies to become less religious and more tolerant to the international community, Western countries have translated their fear of terrorism and radical Islam into Islamophobia.
Firstly, the tolerance the West has for Arab culture is not equal to the tolerance that Arab countries have for Western culture. Arab cities such as Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Manama, Doha, Kuwait City, and Muscat have become popular tourist attractions due to their shopping appeal and the warm season providing sunshine and glittering blue oceans all year-round. Arab countries have become more tolerant to Western cultures, as well as other cultures, due to the evolution of their societal structure and their economy. Meanwhile, the burgeon of terrorist attacks from organizations such as Al-Qaeda, ISIS, and Taliban claim to be fighting for justice in the name of Islam, thus causing the Western countries to translate their fear and hate of terrorism into Islamophobia.
Islamophobia is prevalent in Western societies. Recently, after experiencing multiple terrorist attacks, the south of France has issued a ban against burkinis despite the large number of Arab tourists in southern France during the summer season. France made a bold statement proving it is not tolerant to Islamic culture. This is an act of racism and it defies the laws of freedom, which have been set by the United Nations to preserve and protect human rights.
Saudi Arabia remains conservative in its policies; it would not permit women to wear bikinis on the beach, however Saudi Arabia is the capital of the Islamic religion. Similarly, the Vatican would also frown upon women dressing immodestly and would most likely ban the bikini swimsuit on their beaches, had they not been located in the heart of Italy rather than on the coast. Religious capitals have the right to practice their religions how they desire, implement the policies that suit them best and other countries and cultures must be tolerant and accepting.
In conclusion, it is evident that wearing a burkha in Western countries is not as offensive as wearing a bikini in Arab countries. This is due to the fear of terrorism and Islamophobia, which has become ubiquitous in Western nations. There is no perfect culture and there is no perfect interpretation of religion, yet there is always hope for a peaceful society. People must be tolerant, accepting and respectful towards other cultures and religions. All conflicts, small and large, are rooted in ideological clashes. The United Nations can not do anything to maintain peace if the citizens of the world are not willing to cooperate. It is not the religious person that dresses modestly whom is close minded, it is the person whom refuses to accept anything that defies what he or she believes to be true. Racism has caused many wars and has ended many lives, it is time to become accepting and unite against the true injustices: terrorist organizations and corrupt governments.
LNAT Question: Wearing a burkha in Western countries is just as offensive as wearing a bikini in Arab countries. Do you agree?
Essay:
The burkha is a piece of clothing, similar to a veil that some Muslim women use to cover their face, revealing only their eyes. The bikini is a fashion item that has been adopted internationally, yet it originates from the Western countries. The bikini is a swimsuit, which covers a woman's breasts and pelvis. Western countries find the burkha offensive, it is seen as an oppressive garment that expunges a woman's identity. As for Middle Eastern countries, they once found bikinis to be offensive. However, as they have gradually become popular tourists destinations, they have adopted tolerant policies that are accepting of an array of cultures and religions. The correlation that has been identified in the essay question implies that Western countries are accepting of Arab culture to the same extent as Arab countries are accepting of Western culture. However, I do not agree that wearing a burkha in Western countries is just as offensive as wearing a bikini in Arab countries because as Arab countries have evolved their malleable policies to become less religious and more tolerant to the international community, Western countries have translated their fear of terrorism and radical Islam into Islamophobia.
Firstly, the tolerance the West has for Arab culture is not equal to the tolerance that Arab countries have for Western culture. Arab cities such as Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Manama, Doha, Kuwait City, and Muscat have become popular tourist attractions due to their shopping appeal and the warm season providing sunshine and glittering blue oceans all year-round. Arab countries have become more tolerant to Western cultures, as well as other cultures, due to the evolution of their societal structure and their economy. Meanwhile, the burgeon of terrorist attacks from organizations such as Al-Qaeda, ISIS, and Taliban claim to be fighting for justice in the name of Islam, thus causing the Western countries to translate their fear and hate of terrorism into Islamophobia.
Islamophobia is prevalent in Western societies. Recently, after experiencing multiple terrorist attacks, the south of France has issued a ban against burkinis despite the large number of Arab tourists in southern France during the summer season. France made a bold statement proving it is not tolerant to Islamic culture. This is an act of racism and it defies the laws of freedom, which have been set by the United Nations to preserve and protect human rights.
Saudi Arabia remains conservative in its policies; it would not permit women to wear bikinis on the beach, however Saudi Arabia is the capital of the Islamic religion. Similarly, the Vatican would also frown upon women dressing immodestly and would most likely ban the bikini swimsuit on their beaches, had they not been located in the heart of Italy rather than on the coast. Religious capitals have the right to practice their religions how they desire, implement the policies that suit them best and other countries and cultures must be tolerant and accepting.
In conclusion, it is evident that wearing a burkha in Western countries is not as offensive as wearing a bikini in Arab countries. This is due to the fear of terrorism and Islamophobia, which has become ubiquitous in Western nations. There is no perfect culture and there is no perfect interpretation of religion, yet there is always hope for a peaceful society. People must be tolerant, accepting and respectful towards other cultures and religions. All conflicts, small and large, are rooted in ideological clashes. The United Nations can not do anything to maintain peace if the citizens of the world are not willing to cooperate. It is not the religious person that dresses modestly whom is close minded, it is the person whom refuses to accept anything that defies what he or she believes to be true. Racism has caused many wars and has ended many lives, it is time to become accepting and unite against the true injustices: terrorist organizations and corrupt governments.
Original post by Mimir
If you've posted it on here, when it goes through the plagiarism checker, it will flag up having been cached by google on TSR.
You're going to have to start again from scratch. Sorry.
You're going to have to start again from scratch. Sorry.
I don't understand? This is just a practice test.
Original post by danahbanana
I don't understand? This is just a practice test.
Ok, but don't put anything you intend to submit online, or again it will be flagged for plagiarism.
In short:
1. Focus more on the question. It's about offence, not about prohibitions or more generally about the evils of racism.
2. Structure your argument. The first sentence of your last paragraph sounds like it's introducing a conclusion, but it isn't really!
3. Defend your opinions, rather than trying to sound authoritative about empirical facts. Sorry to be brutal, but knowing the capital cities of 6 Arab countries isn't going to help at all.
In long:
You focus heavily on a fairly controversial empirical point, which is your contention that as a matter of fact a woman wearing a bikini in Arab countries would cause less offence and encounter less prejudice or animosity than a Muslim woman wearing a burkha in Western countries. Personally I think this is very doubtful as a generalization, notwithstanding the recent discriminatory legislation in France - but the point is that the LNAT is about getting you to argue for a position, not to state what you believe to be the facts 'on the ground', so to speak.
So I think the best answers to this question will tend to focus more on the social and/or religious meaning and connotations of the burkha and bikini. It's not clear where you stand on this - you seem to be saying that it's fair enough for Saudi Arabia to ban women from wearing bikinis on the beach because they 'have the right to practise their religion', but at the same time it is intolerant and Islamophobic for Western countries to object to women wearing the burkha. This may be right, but you need to say more about how the meaning or purpose of the two pieces of clothing differs (I think you're saying that since the burkha has a religious meaning, it deserves greater protection?), which in turn justifies their different treatment. (Note also that the question doesn't ask what should and shouldn't be allowed, but rather what is offensive.)
Finally, stick to the point. Your last paragraph tends to ramble off into the roots of conflict and the evils of racism. Conflict and racism are no doubt relevant, but you're not really adddressing the question here.
1. Focus more on the question. It's about offence, not about prohibitions or more generally about the evils of racism.
2. Structure your argument. The first sentence of your last paragraph sounds like it's introducing a conclusion, but it isn't really!
3. Defend your opinions, rather than trying to sound authoritative about empirical facts. Sorry to be brutal, but knowing the capital cities of 6 Arab countries isn't going to help at all.
In long:
You focus heavily on a fairly controversial empirical point, which is your contention that as a matter of fact a woman wearing a bikini in Arab countries would cause less offence and encounter less prejudice or animosity than a Muslim woman wearing a burkha in Western countries. Personally I think this is very doubtful as a generalization, notwithstanding the recent discriminatory legislation in France - but the point is that the LNAT is about getting you to argue for a position, not to state what you believe to be the facts 'on the ground', so to speak.
So I think the best answers to this question will tend to focus more on the social and/or religious meaning and connotations of the burkha and bikini. It's not clear where you stand on this - you seem to be saying that it's fair enough for Saudi Arabia to ban women from wearing bikinis on the beach because they 'have the right to practise their religion', but at the same time it is intolerant and Islamophobic for Western countries to object to women wearing the burkha. This may be right, but you need to say more about how the meaning or purpose of the two pieces of clothing differs (I think you're saying that since the burkha has a religious meaning, it deserves greater protection?), which in turn justifies their different treatment. (Note also that the question doesn't ask what should and shouldn't be allowed, but rather what is offensive.)
Finally, stick to the point. Your last paragraph tends to ramble off into the roots of conflict and the evils of racism. Conflict and racism are no doubt relevant, but you're not really adddressing the question here.
Original post by Mimir
Ok, but don't put anything you intend to submit online, or again it will be flagged for plagiarism.
I will ensure that I don't, Thank you very much for your advice!
Original post by Estreth
In short:
1. Focus more on the question. It's about offence, not about prohibitions or more generally about the evils of racism.
2. Structure your argument. The first sentence of your last paragraph sounds like it's introducing a conclusion, but it isn't really!
3. Defend your opinions, rather than trying to sound authoritative about empirical facts. Sorry to be brutal, but knowing the capital cities of 6 Arab countries isn't going to help at all.
In long:
You focus heavily on a fairly controversial empirical point, which is your contention that as a matter of fact a woman wearing a bikini in Arab countries would cause less offence and encounter less prejudice or animosity than a Muslim woman wearing a burkha in Western countries. Personally I think this is very doubtful as a generalization, notwithstanding the recent discriminatory legislation in France - but the point is that the LNAT is about getting you to argue for a position, not to state what you believe to be the facts 'on the ground', so to speak.
So I think the best answers to this question will tend to focus more on the social and/or religious meaning and connotations of the burkha and bikini. It's not clear where you stand on this - you seem to be saying that it's fair enough for Saudi Arabia to ban women from wearing bikinis on the beach because they 'have the right to practise their religion', but at the same time it is intolerant and Islamophobic for Western countries to object to women wearing the burkha. This may be right, but you need to say more about how the meaning or purpose of the two pieces of clothing differs (I think you're saying that since the burkha has a religious meaning, it deserves greater protection?), which in turn justifies their different treatment. (Note also that the question doesn't ask what should and shouldn't be allowed, but rather what is offensive.)
Finally, stick to the point. Your last paragraph tends to ramble off into the roots of conflict and the evils of racism. Conflict and racism are no doubt relevant, but you're not really adddressing the question here.
1. Focus more on the question. It's about offence, not about prohibitions or more generally about the evils of racism.
2. Structure your argument. The first sentence of your last paragraph sounds like it's introducing a conclusion, but it isn't really!
3. Defend your opinions, rather than trying to sound authoritative about empirical facts. Sorry to be brutal, but knowing the capital cities of 6 Arab countries isn't going to help at all.
In long:
You focus heavily on a fairly controversial empirical point, which is your contention that as a matter of fact a woman wearing a bikini in Arab countries would cause less offence and encounter less prejudice or animosity than a Muslim woman wearing a burkha in Western countries. Personally I think this is very doubtful as a generalization, notwithstanding the recent discriminatory legislation in France - but the point is that the LNAT is about getting you to argue for a position, not to state what you believe to be the facts 'on the ground', so to speak.
So I think the best answers to this question will tend to focus more on the social and/or religious meaning and connotations of the burkha and bikini. It's not clear where you stand on this - you seem to be saying that it's fair enough for Saudi Arabia to ban women from wearing bikinis on the beach because they 'have the right to practise their religion', but at the same time it is intolerant and Islamophobic for Western countries to object to women wearing the burkha. This may be right, but you need to say more about how the meaning or purpose of the two pieces of clothing differs (I think you're saying that since the burkha has a religious meaning, it deserves greater protection?), which in turn justifies their different treatment. (Note also that the question doesn't ask what should and shouldn't be allowed, but rather what is offensive.)
Finally, stick to the point. Your last paragraph tends to ramble off into the roots of conflict and the evils of racism. Conflict and racism are no doubt relevant, but you're not really adddressing the question here.
Hello Estreth, I truly appreciate all the time and effort you have invested in helping me out! Thank you very much. I will look back over my essay with a fine comb.
I skimmed it but found your argument difficult to follow. It rambles.
The key word was offense.
Estreth has been helpful by pointing out you should be explaining your position and pointing out the issues.
You should start with a simple argument and build on it.Instead you jump about.
Your use of proof to back your argument feels unconvincing as it lacks logical progression.
I was quite surprised and got the impression you feel there is greater tolerance in Arab countries. It really didnt come across that you understood the significance of the Burkini in western countries or the potential legal issues. France is just one country and as far as I recall the ban has been ruled unlawful.
Try planning your answer. Write it in bullet points to start with so you can see the argument. Keep practising.
The key word was offense.
Estreth has been helpful by pointing out you should be explaining your position and pointing out the issues.
You should start with a simple argument and build on it.Instead you jump about.
Your use of proof to back your argument feels unconvincing as it lacks logical progression.
I was quite surprised and got the impression you feel there is greater tolerance in Arab countries. It really didnt come across that you understood the significance of the Burkini in western countries or the potential legal issues. France is just one country and as far as I recall the ban has been ruled unlawful.
Try planning your answer. Write it in bullet points to start with so you can see the argument. Keep practising.
(edited 7 years ago)
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