The Student Room Group

depression because of mum

please guys i need a honist opinion here and please tell me if im being alittle unfair.

I've always had realy problems with my mum. As a kid my father used to constantly stay drunk and didnt work. He also used to hit her and give verbal abuse. She left me as a child to go and work as there was no food for the family. When i was about 4 my dad stopped drinking. Yay. But my mother wasnt over the hard time he had given her (fair enough. I understand that and dont really my father as he used to do that) Anyway from that time to my early teens my mother would constanly tell me about the things my father did to her. Also everytime i would bring a topic about school she would listen for about 10 minutes and then contine about her greif, she would also forget the thing i would tell her in less than an hour. (As a kid that wasnt nice..as i was a "excited" kid and wanted other people to be involved in my excitment)

When i wasd about 12 my brother gor married (we have a big age difference). After that my mother would constanly critisize my siter-in-law infront of me and also my brother..and as always my father too. Its not that my mother doesnt care about her family. I mean she has done a LOT of things for my family. Now im a teenager (16) and my hormoes kick in..i want to be agressive/ want my own space/ my own time but she doesnt understand that. infact shes in the same room as me! i cant speek to a "guy" properly because shes alwats listening.

I've come to a certain stage were all i can do is listen to her and take in everything she has to say. I cant be alone. I spend majority of my nights crying because she forces her opinions of my brother and his wife on me. ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE ALONE!!!!!! why doesnt she get it?

I've been in and out of depression because of her and everytime she takes me to the doctor all the doc says is that this girl need space..which my mum ignores.

Im sorry because i dont know what im asking for..maybe for me to be listened to as no one ever as or to get a bit of advice on how to handle this.
There isn't much I can say really apart from keep going. I understand it does seem extremely hard but there isn't much you can do. If your mum doesnt listen to your doctor then there isn't much you can say which will change her mind.

If you want- give me a PM and you can just talk to me if you want. I hope it gets better as you dont deserve to have her moaning about your brother and the "guy" stuff with her listening in.

I'm sorry I havrnt been that helpful but give me a PM and i hope everything turns out ok one day

xx
Reply 2
if you cant get space in the house could you not go out? Get a part time job or join a group/sports club/whatever you enjoy - it will help you gain some independence and get some time for you.

If you need to get out occassionally could you go for a walk or run, to get the space you need away from her?

Could you stay occassionally at your brothers or a friends?
:hugs: OP. I feel for you having read that. What your mum is doing is not right. I can understand that you would want to be on your own. I've always loved being away from my parents and I now often find myself begging them to get out of the house and do their own thing rather than interfering with my life and causing yet another breakdown. I can definitely relate to some of what you have said because my parents trigger my depression and refuse to understand that they are actually making things worse.

I'm always willing to listen if you ever need to rant. Feel free to PM me. Hope you feel better soon.
Isis07
If you need to get out occassionally could you go for a walk or run, to get the space you need away from her?

This is good advice. I spend a lot of time out of the house just to escape from my parents. I wouldn't be able to cope if I didn't go on my daily walks.
Reply 5
Thanks guys...im taking onboard the ideas about space and walks. I dont know what went wrong. I mean my mums looking at the computer screen now but luckly is far so she cant actually see what im typing. And thanks for PM offers.