Is there anyone who thinks they might be gay that doesn't actually want to be?

I just wanna know.What Im trying to say is I am attracted to people of the same sex, I have been for a long time, possibly all my life, but I don't wanna be. Well maybe not gay as such, because I feel attraction to the opposite sex sometimes. But I just wanna know if there anyone who think they are gay and doesn't actually want to be.
But I feel my attraction for the same sex is purely physical and I do not want any relationship based on that. For the opposite it is a bit more than that. I do not want to act upon my feelings for the same sex, but it feels hard to do. And I feel that if I do, for example if I kiss another girl and I really like it that eventually I would want to go further and basically I don't want it to happen.

Reply 1

billbonesknowswhatimean

act on it. and let us know how it goes.

Reply 2

billbonesknowswhatimean

seriously, go for it. u aint gna get burned at the stake like they used to (joan of arc swung both ways)

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I am. I really don't like being attracted to the same sex. I tried to change myself with various methods but I can't. I think if it was still classed as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association I would try to get treated. I hate being this way, I just want to be normal and I understand entirely how you feel.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=432706

Reply 4

lookoutapiano!

im bi but i pretty much prefer girls. im attracted to plenty of guys but relationships just dont feel 'right' with them. im totally fine with the fact that i like girls and im not ashamed of it or anything the only thing i would want to change is that id be more happy in relationships with guys because i do dream of having a convential family and kids and stuff and obviously thats so much harder to achieve with a girl than a guy.

to be honest though i do label myself as bi when asked but i am attracted to people for reasons other than what genitals they posess! i tend to fall for the person rather than the gender. so i wouldnt rule anything out in the future.

seriously if youre attracted to a particular girl and theyre attracted back just go with the flow and see how it feels. you wont know until youve tried it :smile:

Reply 5

Zoecb

11

Look (OP), you're just being homophobic now and it's bordering on offensive.

Reply 6

ßlαcksωαn

17

Yeah sure it's crossed my mind. From from day one I remember having crushes on guys, I've had weirdo feelings for girls before too (never acted on them) , but it's different. I don't think there's much wrong with finding people of the same sex attractive. Give it a go I say!

Reply 7

emmmerlee

i wouldn't call the OP particularly homophobic :s-smilie:

(not going off what's written there anyway)..she's just confused and not sure that she wants to go down that path..she's not saying that it's wrong for others..just perhaps she didn't see herself ever falling for girls and now doesn't want to be..just like happywonderingx, though she's comfortable with the fact she's bi, she's also unsure since she would ideally like the nuclear family type life..though as she's rightly said, you can't help who you're attracted to and you should just see where things take you and it's nothing to be ashamed of :smile:

god that was a bit incoherent, sorry, headache haha

Reply 8

devils_nose

10

I don't think you're being homophobic either OP. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lead the life your parents always thought you would.. but if you would be lying to yourself, them and your partner by following that path, do you think it would make you happy ultimately? Being gay in this country is a lot more acceptable these days, your friends and family would (more than likely) be very supportive - some of them may even already know? If you are confused then maybe you should consider talking to someone professional, or there are helplines for people in your predicament. Do you have a friend that you can confide in?

Reply 9

Cromulent

12

Zoecb

Look (OP), you're just being homophobic now and it's bordering on offensive.

What? How is he being homophobic? He just does not want to be gay, where did he say he hated gay people? All he said was that he did not want to be gay.

Reply 10

rali2000

You can try and fight against your feelings and instincts but I can tell you that you will regret it. I'm curious to hear more about why you don't want to be gay. Are you religious? Are your parents and friends homophobic?

Reply 11

Zoecb

11

Cromulent

What? How is he being homophobic? He just does not want to be gay, where did he say he hated gay people? All he said was that he did not want to be gay.

She's a she, and she's wishing that it was still seen as a mental illness so she could try and reverse who she is. That's pretty homophobic to me.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Zoecb

She's a she, and she's wishing that it was still seen as a mental illness so she could try and reverse who she is. That's pretty homophobic to me.

That was me, not the original OP. I didn't say I wish it was still seen as a mental illness, I said that if it was I would try to get treated. I have tried to stop myself having these feelings and failed, I don't think it's homophobic to believe that it's ok for other people if they're gay, I couldn't care - in fact good on them that they are fine with it. I'm not fine with these feelings myself.

Reply 13

Cromulent

12

Zoecb

She's a she, and she's wishing that it was still seen as a mental illness so she could try and reverse who she is. That's pretty homophobic to me.

Not really. How many times have you found something you don't like about yourself and wished that there was an easy solution?

This is not homophobic (I wish people would stop throwing these terms around) it is self hatred.

Reply 14

Zoecb

11

Oh yeah, so it was. Well much as technically I suppose I don't have a right to, but I find myself having a problem with anyone not being fine with it. Sounds like that's you AND the OP.

Reply 15

Zoecb

11

Cromulent

Not really. How many times have you found something you don't like about yourself and wished that there was an easy solution?

This is not homophobic (I wish people would stop throwing these terms around) it is self hatred.

Right, so if someone hated being black and wished and wished they were white, that wouldn't be racist?

Reply 16

CHAD

Zoecb

Right, so if someone hated being black and wished and wished they were white, that wouldn't be racist?

no.

Reply 17

Zoecb

11

Why not? Surely that would imply that the races are not equal, that one is somehow inferior and they'd rather be the other. When there is no difference between them.

Reply 18

40550

2

Sexuality isn't black and white, I don't personally think that people are born gay. Generally, people accept that environmental factors play a part in sexuality, but they resent psychological investigation into it. Understandably

Reply 19

CHAD

Zoecb

Why not? Surely that would imply that their own race isn't good enough for them.

No, it implies that for some reason they are not comfortable within themselves being black. It does NOT imply that they feel more superior and show unfair predjudice against all black people for no reason at all, which is afterall what a racist believes.

Is there anyone who thinks they might be gay that doesn't actually want to be?

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