why do I lack interests?

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    I don't have any interests. I waste my time on the internet; that is probably how I didn't die of boredom and managed to reach the age of 18. At school I was good at a subject or two - good but not amazing at anything - and I sucked at subjects like English and History where opinions had to be expressed. It is as if my brain is half-empty. I could be asked a basic question, such as naming a hobby, but I have to rack my brains to answer. This really used to bother me when I had to do English speaking exams, I struggled to choose to a topic to talk about once--when the topic could have been absolutely anything. I can't even answer a question like 'what is your favourite colour?' because I don't have one. Any other 'favourites' question would probably not get an answer either. WTF is wrong with me .

    I have just entered university, (barely) started a course that I know anything about and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have problems with my life - I am expected to study, then have the traditional marriage, have children, etc. (it's slightly worse than this). I don't want any of that marriage (or even relationship) business, but I don't have alternatives to get away from that. I don't have a passion for a particular subject or anything else which I could put my focus on so it seems as if I'm doomed.

    I feel like blaming my parents who gave me a dull upbringing from the start of my teenage years as well as pressuring me to do study a specific course, which I tailored my A Levels subjects towards since I was too stupid at the time to realise I should do whatever I want. (They didn't tell me which subjects to do, that was entirely my decision, but since they told me which course to do, I picked the required/relevant subjects).

    I think I'm just a boring individual. I wish I could fast-forward life. When I commute to university, I feel like a waste of space - like if I wasn't taking up a seat when I don't even want to be there, someone else could sit there.

    Other than this lack of a life/personality/brain, I can get along with people easily. I am friendly enough, I can have conversations, small talk blah blah, they just aren't about me and what I do in my free time. But, ultimately, I suck.
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    I think to have interests and preferences you just have to experience a bit. So put yourself out there and try some stuff, you'll realise what you do and don't like and can choose some interests accordingly
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    I think to have interests and preferences you just have to experience a bit. So put yourself out there and try some stuff, you'll realise what you do and don't like and can choose some interests accordingly
    thanks for replying.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like blaming my parents who gave me a dull upbringing from the start of my teenage years
    While this may or may not have been the issue, you're now an adult and blaming your parents won't get you anywhere.

    Interests are simply that, things you're interested in. What sort of effort have you personally put in to try things out? Doesn't matter what they are. Have you tried playing football? Have you tried a video game? Have you tried skydiving? You won't develop interests unless you try things and wasting your life on the internet won't get you anywhere.

    To develop interests you need to go and do stuff. You might not enjoy it but they only way you'll become a more interesting person is by experiencing things.

    A general loss of interest in everything is also a potential symptom of depression. Now I'm not diagnosing you with any mental disorders but what you described is not a healthy state of mind. Schedule an appointment to see a doctor and get yourself checked out.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Acsel)
    While this may or may not have been the issue, you're now an adult and blaming your parents won't get you anywhere.

    Interests are simply that, things you're interested in. What sort of effort have you personally put in to try things out? Doesn't matter what they are. Have you tried playing football? Have you tried a video game? Have you tried skydiving? You won't develop interests unless you try things and wasting your life on the internet won't get you anywhere.

    To develop interests you need to go and do stuff. You might not enjoy it but they only way you'll become a more interesting person is by experiencing things.

    A general loss of interest in everything is also a potential symptom of depression. Now I'm not diagnosing you with any mental disorders but what you described is not a healthy state of mind. Schedule an appointment to see a doctor and get yourself checked out.
    I wouldn't say I have lost my interest in things, I was never particularly interesting in anything to begin with. I mean, I like video games sometimes so I do play and I like sports but haven't done any sort of exercise since school because it's a little difficult for me to find somewhere I can go, and even then my parents will probably be confused or something as to why I'm going! But other than this, when it comes to academics, I can't say I find anything interesting. I like the idea of studying though, probably more so than actually studying...

    I don't think I have depression; I am sad due to the situation I am in, however I tend to forget about my problems easily so they are not always on my mind.

    I just wish I had a passion, something to work towards, so that I could be motivated to work and actually be successful. I don't think help I require help from a doctor.

    But thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wouldn't say I have lost my interest in things, I was never particularly interesting in anything to begin with. I mean, I like video games sometimes so I do play and I like sports but haven't done any sort of exercise since school because it's a little difficult for me to find somewhere I can go, and even then my parents will probably be confused or something as to why I'm going! But other than this, when it comes to academics, I can't say I find anything interesting. I like the idea of studying though, probably more so than actually studying...

    I don't think I have depression; I am sad due to the situation I am in, however I tend to forget about my problems easily so they are not always on my mind.

    I just wish I had a passion, something to work towards, so that I could be motivated to work and actually be successful. I don't think help I require help from a doctor.

    But thanks
    Not even as a young child? It's difficult to imagine a young child, 5, 8 or even 10 years old having no interests. Young children get excited by everything. If you can wholeheartedly say that even as a young child you had no interests in anything then that really enforces that you need to see a psychiatrist. That suggests there were problems with your childhood that need to be addressed. If there was a point where you were interested and got excited by things then identify what changed.

    Honestly speaking it sounds like you're just making excuses. I don't want that to come across as me being an ass but it's difficult for you to find somewhere to go? Your parents would wonder why you're going? That's ridiculous. Get some shoes on and go out for a run. Run down the street. Run to some landmark. Run through a field. It doesn't matter where. Do some pushups. Jumping Jacks. Squats. There's loads of exercises you can do without the need to find somewhere to go. And as for your parents? What's that got to do with anything? As I mentioned you're an adult. It doesn't matter if they're confused. But is it really so confusing to understand why you'd exercise? Or difficult to explain? Go out and do some exercise. If you want to find a sports club or a gym to join then I'm sure you'd be able to. Unless you've got some very mitigating circumstances you'll be able to find somewhere if you put the effort in.

    So academically you don't feel anything for any of your subjects? There's just casual disinterest for everything? There's absolutely nothing you can say you enjoy or like even the tinniest bit? Once again this suggests there's something fundamentally wrong.

    I also bring up depression when someone mentions some of the common signs. Might not be the problem (and usually isn't) but it gets people thinking about their own mental health. As much as you deny that you don't need to see a doctor, everything you've said is evidence suggesting you do. You may not like to hear it but what you're going through is not normal. You need help from someone and TSR is not the place to get that help. Talk to a qualified doctor or medical professional, failing that a friend, family member, teacher, or anyone else you can confide in. If things are as bad as you say then getting professional help will deal with the problem.

    Passion and interests are massively different things. I have lots of casual interests (despite thinking I was a boring person with no interests). I spent some time at college not being interested in a lot of things and generally feeling similar to you. I realised that actually I have a lot of interests. Passion on the other hand is a completely different ball game. Many people will never find their passion. There are hundreds of articles, blog posts and so on dedicated to helping you find your passion. Look into some of them. Sometimes they work and other times they won't. But unless you try and look you won't know.

    You also mention about having something to work towards and be successful. Know what? That's an interest. Being successful is a goal and anything you do towards than can be considered an interest.

    I guess the final thing is what have you actually done to try and alleviate this? What have you tried? What have you experienced? What have you put effort into doing? If the answer is not much then you're doing nothing to help yourself. I'll put a list of random things below. Pick some of them and give them a go. You may or may not enjoy them which is fine. If you enjoy something carry on. But absolutely no excuses. For example if you don't have money to buy a book then go to a library or borrow one. If that doesn't work find an online book to read.

    Read a book
    Write something (a book, an article, a poem, a song, anything)
    Build something (could be anything from furniture to a model to just putting random junk in your house together)
    Learn a skill (programming is a good one, it's free to learn and all you need is a computer, which you must have to be posting on TSR)
    Cook something
    Draw something
    Learn a language

    That's just a few random ideas, a Google search for hobbies and things to do will throw up loads more. Do some of them. In fact there's no reason you can't do all of them, they're all incredibly broad.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Acsel)
    Not even as a young child? It's difficult to imagine a young child, 5, 8 or even 10 years old having no interests. Young children get excited by everything. If you can wholeheartedly say that even as a young child you had no interests in anything then that really enforces that you need to see a psychiatrist. That suggests there were problems with your childhood that need to be addressed. If there was a point where you were interested and got excited by things then identify what changed.

    Honestly speaking it sounds like you're just making excuses. I don't want that to come across as me being an ass but it's difficult for you to find somewhere to go? Your parents would wonder why you're going? That's ridiculous. Get some shoes on and go out for a run. Run down the street. Run to some landmark. Run through a field. It doesn't matter where. Do some pushups. Jumping Jacks. Squats. There's loads of exercises you can do without the need to find somewhere to go. And as for your parents? What's that got to do with anything? As I mentioned you're an adult. It doesn't matter if they're confused. But is it really so confusing to understand why you'd exercise? Or difficult to explain? Go out and do some exercise. If you want to find a sports club or a gym to join then I'm sure you'd be able to. Unless you've got some very mitigating circumstances you'll be able to find somewhere if you put the effort in.

    So academically you don't feel anything for any of your subjects? There's just casual disinterest for everything? There's absolutely nothing you can say you enjoy or like even the tinniest bit? Once again this suggests there's something fundamentally wrong.

    I also bring up depression when someone mentions some of the common signs. Might not be the problem (and usually isn't) but it gets people thinking about their own mental health. As much as you deny that you don't need to see a doctor, everything you've said is evidence suggesting you do. You may not like to hear it but what you're going through is not normal. You need help from someone and TSR is not the place to get that help. Talk to a qualified doctor or medical professional, failing that a friend, family member, teacher, or anyone else you can confide in. If things are as bad as you say then getting professional help will deal with the problem.

    Passion and interests are massively different things. I have lots of casual interests (despite thinking I was a boring person with no interests). I spent some time at college not being interested in a lot of things and generally feeling similar to you. I realised that actually I have a lot of interests. Passion on the other hand is a completely different ball game. Many people will never find their passion. There are hundreds of articles, blog posts and so on dedicated to helping you find your passion. Look into some of them. Sometimes they work and other times they won't. But unless you try and look you won't know.

    You also mention about having something to work towards and be successful. Know what? That's an interest. Being successful is a goal and anything you do towards than can be considered an interest.

    I guess the final thing is what have you actually done to try and alleviate this? What have you tried? What have you experienced? What have you put effort into doing? If the answer is not much then you're doing nothing to help yourself. I'll put a list of random things below. Pick some of them and give them a go. You may or may not enjoy them which is fine. If you enjoy something carry on. But absolutely no excuses. For example if you don't have money to buy a book then go to a library or borrow one. If that doesn't work find an online book to read.

    Read a book
    Write something (a book, an article, a poem, a song, anything)
    Build something (could be anything from furniture to a model to just putting random junk in your house together)
    Learn a skill (programming is a good one, it's free to learn and all you need is a computer, which you must have to be posting on TSR)
    Cook something
    Draw something
    Learn a language

    That's just a few random ideas, a Google search for hobbies and things to do will throw up loads more. Do some of them. In fact there's no reason you can't do all of them, they're all incredibly broad.
    Okay, saying I have no interests was an exaggeration/ not so accurate. I like reading, watching TV, playing games. I suppose I meant passion. But I believe I am boring person nonetheless.

    You actually don't know how difficult it would be for me to go outside for a run lol. I know it sounds ridiculous. And it is. That's my life.

    Academically I can't tell you what I'm interested in. I might tell you like a certain subject, but the truth is I would only like it because I am half decent at it so can get good grades in it.

    I could definitely try to help myself yeah.

    Thanks again!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay, saying I have no interests was an exaggeration/ not so accurate. I like reading, watching TV, playing games. I suppose I meant passion. But I believe I am boring person nonetheless.

    You actually don't know how difficult it would be for me to go outside for a run lol. I know it sounds ridiculous. And it is. That's my life.

    Academically I can't tell you what I'm interested in. I might tell you like a certain subject, but the truth is I would only like it because I am half decent at it so can get good grades in it.

    I could definitely try to help myself yeah.

    Thanks again!
    Then is the issue here actually unrelated to your interests and more down to what you think of yourself? Does the problem not lie with you believing you're a boring person? Like I mentioned before with finding a passion, that's not something that just happens and it may not happen for years. Your passion may not even exist yet.

    No, I don't know your situation but unless there's something seriously mitigating (like you're in a warzone and you'd get shot if you stepped outside) then odds are it isn't as bad you make out. I won't ask what exactly is stopping you but I suspect it's not quite as bad as you made out.

    But regardless you've focused on the negative, the thing you think you can't do again. Focus on what you can do. So you can't go out for a run? Do some pushups. Drop down right now (I'll wait). Doing a pushup is something I'm 100% sure you can do right this moment, or at least attempt if you weren't physically able. Unless of course you've broken your arms, your in a wheelchair or some other unique circumstance.

    So there's not one thing you can say you enjoy? You mentioned reading so you have some interest in Literature right? Playing games (I assume computer games) means an interest in IT of some sort. You might not have an interest in English or IT as a subject but you can say you have an interest in some smaller part of them, like English Literature or Games Testing (which is a legitimate profession).

    It's very much looking like part of the problem here is faulty thinking. You're focusing on the negative and you've got yourself into a position where you really believe you have no interests and that you're boring. That's something that needs to be dealt with. In fact you are dealing with it, you've already identified 3 things you have an interest in (reading, TV and games). So lets build off that. Write reviews for the things you read or watch. Design a game to play, or even build it. We've already gone from "no interests" to multiple interests. Nothing changed except how you were thinking about it.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Acsel)
    Then is the issue here actually unrelated to your interests and more down to what you think of yourself? Does the problem not lie with you believing you're a boring person? Like I mentioned before with finding a passion, that's not something that just happens and it may not happen for years. Your passion may not even exist yet.

    No, I don't know your situation but unless there's something seriously mitigating (like you're in a warzone and you'd get shot if you stepped outside) then odds are it isn't as bad you make out. I won't ask what exactly is stopping you but I suspect it's not quite as bad as you made out.

    But regardless you've focused on the negative, the thing you think you can't do again. Focus on what you can do. So you can't go out for a run? Do some pushups. Drop down right now (I'll wait). Doing a pushup is something I'm 100% sure you can do right this moment, or at least attempt if you weren't physically able. Unless of course you've broken your arms, your in a wheelchair or some other unique circumstance.

    So there's not one thing you can say you enjoy? You mentioned reading so you have some interest in Literature right? Playing games (I assume computer games) means an interest in IT of some sort. You might not have an interest in English or IT as a subject but you can say you have an interest in some smaller part of them, like English Literature or Games Testing (which is a legitimate profession).

    It's very much looking like part of the problem here is faulty thinking. You're focusing on the negative and you've got yourself into a position where you really believe you have no interests and that you're boring. That's something that needs to be dealt with. In fact you are dealing with it, you've already identified 3 things you have an interest in (reading, TV and games). So lets build off that. Write reviews for the things you read or watch. Design a game to play, or even build it. We've already gone from "no interests" to multiple interests. Nothing changed except how you were thinking about it.
    I can attempt pushups.
    Thanks man, I think you are right that it is a matter of perspective - I can admit I am lazy so I need to simply start doing stuff, like some pushups
 
 
 
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