Can't wait for freshers week to be over

Freshers week is nearly over and I'm so glad. I've been here for almost a week now but it feels like months.
I've not been out clubbing since I've been here and have only gone to a few socials my hall has put on. My flatmates are nice but I don't feel like we've clicked in the sense that I could go out with them and not feel like an outsider.
I'm not a particularly outgoing person so it's been hard work talking to people on my course and I've become sort of friends with a couple but not many, certainly not any I feel that I could go out to town with yet. I do WANT to go out and I do drink but I just don't have anyone I want to go with. I'd rather go with people I know and like in the future than people I hardly know or like at this point just to fit in.
I've signed up to quite a few societies but they don't get started until next week although I'm hoping I make some proper friends there and start actually liking being here.
Uni has not reached expectations at all so far - I'm lonely, I'm homesick, and I feel like I'm being purposefully antisocial. I'll be glad when the whole charade of freshers is over and people start being a bit more real.
(Reading this back, I sound like a bitter old man having a go at kids having fun but lmao I'm not that far away from that)

Reply 1

Dodgypirate

I had that issue on my first year too.

Don't be disheartened, just go with the flow, continue what you're doing, and before you know it you'll be having a great time.

Grasp every opportunity to meet new people and talk to them!

Reply 2

severingsnapes

Original post by Dodgypirate

Hearing that other people have been through it but are on the other side of it. I'm not completely introverted and I do like to think I'm not totally unapproachable either but having to keep talking to new people is kind of exhausting. I'm mostly just trying not to let it get me down. I'm really looking forward to going to societies though so hopefully that'll be a great time to meet new people!

Reply 3

Dodgypirate

Original post by severingsnapes

Are you ambivert by any chance?

I'm a bit of an introvert, but I do have extrovert tendencies.

I can totally understand that it's difficult, but you have to push yourself. I'm sure you'll meet loads of people with your societies :smile:

Reply 4

severingsnapes

Original post by Dodgypirate

You know what, that perfectly describes me. I don't like going into town when it's really busy and hectic but I love house parties that have a lot of chill people who will just talk and play games and listen to music, I love that and it won't wear me out.
Pushing myself is hard but I'm learning to do it bit by bit more now. I'll go to society meetings for things I'd have run a mile from maybe a year ago so I'm out of my comfort zone. Let's hope I do! Thank you!

Reply 5

Dodgypirate

Original post by severingsnapes

You're more than welcome :smile:

Enjoy yourself!

Reply 6

grassntai

Wow this thread is so me. I'm looking forward to freshers week ending and thus joining societies and making friends there! It's difficult to make friends on my course because of the gender ratio but I'm hoping (and praying) I can click with people on my societies because of our shared interests.

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Reply 7

severingsnapes

Original post by grassntai

It's hard to make friends on your course anyway since most of it is spent in lectures where everyone is sat in silence and it's not like school where everyone has the same timetable and eats lunch in the same place. And same, I'm more praying than hoping to find friends in societies at this point. Hopefully we'll both find people!

Reply 8

Ellesbelles29

Hey,

I'm going up tomorrow.. And I'm dreading it tbh been talking to my flat mates and other flat within my hall and there all complete party animals.. And I'm just not into it either :frown:

:/ so i defo see where you're coming from. Which uni are you at??

Reply 9

innerspeakers

I feel exactly the same. I'm quite ill at the moment and so I just cannot go out in the evening, and anyway I'm not that into clubbing personally. Luckily I've found a group of people on my course who are relatively like me. I just want to start studying, as boring as that sounds.

Reply 10

severingsnapes

Original post by Ellesbelles29

Hey,

I'm going up tomorrow.. And I'm dreading it tbh been talking to my flat mates and other flat within my hall and there all complete party animals.. And I'm just not into it either :frown:

:/ so i defo see where you're coming from. Which uni are you at??

That's annoying, I'm really glad to be in a place that, yes, does house people who like going out and partying, but does not house people who will have flat parties every night and do stuff like break into your room and be sick on your carpet. How I thank God every day. I'm in the Uni of Manchester. I definitely know what you're feeling so just know you aren't alone at all.

Reply 11

severingsnapes

Original post by innerspeakers

It's great to hear that I'm not alone. That's rubbish but at least you have a sort of excuse to stay in. I'm not into it either but it's good you've already found people who you're similar to. And honestly, same! I can't wait for the work to start so I have things to do and I'm learning what I want to learn and there's less expectation to go out and drink every night.

Reply 12

tjtarr

I go to concerts but haven't been in the social groups that ever went clubbing. I've met one person from an induction and thats all. Its been fun hanging with them and some of their friends good convos but no clubs yet. I'm often out late with my backpack and I don't think I can really commute home with that and then back out just to put it away and go party so hopefully that won't be an issue later. Introvert I guess

Reply 13

severingsnapes

Original post by tjtarr

If you're not wanting to go to clubs then you seem like you're in a good place so you won't be dragged along. It's good you've met people and they seem to be possible friend material. That's a thought too, the days in classes can be long and commuting is expensive so I wouldn't worry about it. Just go out as much as you want to, probably on the weekends

Reply 14

JustGeorgeJ

Original post by severingsnapes

Hello

,

It's a shame to hear that you've had this experience. I feel as though you haven't pushed yourself as much as you could during Freshers week. You said you've clicked with your flatmates but have you really made an effort to hang out with them and do stuff with them? Maybe if you did, you wouldn't feel like an outside? I may have got the wrong end of the stick but this is the way it's been made out to sound.

I understand you aren't an outgoing person, a lot of people aren't but that's what Freshers is about - the ice-breaker week where you push your boundaries a little and explore and make new friends - it's not for everyone but for the majority. I feel like with the way you are feeling it's impacted on your experiences during Freshers week and as you said, university hasn't lived up to your expectations so far. I think you just need to talk to people, push yourself a little and find a group you feel 'in' with and see where it goes!

Freshers week does end and university life settles in pretty quick but a charade doesn't really drop!

Good luck :smile: