Trust in people

I've recently realised the main reason I've never been in a relationship.
I think I have trust issues, I guess they have been there since primary school and now I've decided I've got to deal with my feelings to enable me to have a relationship in the future.
From low self esteem and bullying throughout my school years, its taken me a while to lay trust in friends. I wont even drink alcohol unless I know I'm with someone I know well enough to trust.
So I know it affects my relationships friends and more, I'm slowly letting my guard down around close friends but the rest needs dealing with.

Anyone have any advice or tips?

Reply 1

Vetinari

Alcohol (in some degree of moderation) may be a good tool to relax you and encourage you to forget about your trust issues. If you do feel comfortable drinking with close friends then perhaps try and get one of them to host a party where all of your close friends will be there along with handful of other people who you wouldn't normally feel entirely relaxed with. If you keep familiarising yourself with trusting people in small doses then perhaps you can slowly build up your trust until it's no longer a problem.

Then again, part of the trust problem might be that you don't feel confident around some friends as you are worried they will judge you based on your actions and as you will probably see them frequently you are worried that they might react awkwardly. If this was the case then a good strategy might be to attempt a fresh start with a new bunch of people. I don't mean ditch your old friends, but just join a youth club or something and make a bunch of new (and completely separate friends). With these friends you can then make an accelerated effort to be trusting and confident around them. This way you can just stop seeing them if you do feel you need to escape. They would be like a trial run for a more trusting you. :smile: