Long term relationship - boyfriend making me feel miserable

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years in November and until recently have been fine. In September we will be living together with one of our friends at university. I haven't had a proper job since February but all of a sudden I now have two.
One of the jobs requires me to ring up with availability and be expected to drop everything and work shifts at the last minute as a bank health care assistant. Since I started this job my boyfriend has been really moody when I've said that I've got to cancel meeting him because I've been asked to work. However, I realised this must be annoying and yesterday I refused a shift in order to see him. Today I'd arranged to meet him and within 5minutes I got phoned to do a shift, now my boyfriend is being a real arse.
I really don't know what to do about our relationship, it's not fair that he's making me feel miserable when he's had the oppurtunity to work all summer and knows I have an overdraft to get rid of and he also knows the nature of the job.
Anyone been in a similar situation? It's affecting how I'm working because I feel miserable and I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to because my mum just tells me to dump him. :frown:

Help.

I'm posting anonymously because my boyfriend has an account.

Reply 1

recneps

Look at this from his point of view. Would you like it if you kept being stood up by someone who seems to value their job over their bf? You need to decide which you care about more. I'm sure you could find another job a lot more easily than another BF!

Reply 2

username70704

As the above post says, your boyfriend may be moody because you keep cancelling your meetings. Talk to him about the whole situation so you can resolve the problem together perhaps?

However, it must be difficult to arrange meeting him when you have the possibility of having to leave him to work. I think your work are putting you in a really awkward situation by expecting you to drop everything, which I don't think is fair on you.

You say you have two jobs. So why no quit this one and foucs on your other job or talk to someone about your shift patterns at your current work and explain to them how it's affecting your performance at work?

Hope this helps

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

But he knows the circumstances of the job, his mother is a nurse and so he of all people should understand. Today I had warned him I may have to work and he still went off on one.
I don't value my job more than my boyfriend but I don't want to get in trouble with money and he's had all summer to earn money, I've got just this month, my course starts back on 3rd Sept.

Reply 4

ISH

look for a more stable job. One with regular hours.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

One with less money that I can't keep because my placements will not be regular and it won't fit in when I'm back to training to be a nurse, I tried that one last year. Besides when I am a nurse there's no saying that I won't have irregular hours infact I'm more likely to. When I got together with my boyfriend he was fully aware of the career path I intended to follow and should have been aware that this calls for last minute shifts as his mother is a nurse.

Reply 6

username47781

I can understand it much be frustrating for him, but as you say surely he should know you can get called out at the last minute. I think you both need a serious talk because otherwise if this continues, it could destroy your relationship.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

That's what worries me. I've been trying to talk to him all day but he's still in a mood with me.

Reply 8

Wangers

then wait til saturday, take him out to dinner then sit down and talk. Dont talk to him before then. chances are he'll still be dicked off. just call him on sat morning.

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