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Feeling so alone… Watch

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    I just can't deal with my life atm. I'm 16 (female) and want to just get away from this Hell.

    I'm retaking my maths in November and I'm currently taking 3 A-levels which is too much stress as it is but my mum is not supporting me at all she is always in my case (shouting, hitting me) and she always compare me to my friends and what grade they got at GCSE then she spits at me and calls me a "disappointment" which she has done numerous times and i have enough things on my plate atm.

    I want this C in maths so badly and work hard but she doesn't believe me when i say i revise she doesn't trust me on my phone so has taken it away from me (which i don't mind but that means i can't talk to my friends or tell them how i feel) they know this about my mum so don't trust me or have the confidence to ask me to go out with them.

    I'm not allowed to go out so i have no sense of escapism and I'm not allowed to watch TV for long so it's a school to home mentality and I'm feeling the pressure from all directions.

    I hate when she treats me like this but i still love and respect her. My dad is hardly ever at home and is always working but when he is I'm not allowed to talk to him because apparently I'm the one who causes the problems arguments between my parents. My mum is okay with my younger siblings and i am the eldest so maybe this is why she is like this with me but she just doesn't understand if i talk to her she probably will just shout at me and think I'm *****ing about her to someone at school.

    I'm all alone…

    What can i do?
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    Sorry for the long paras and spelling errors…
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    Anyone..?
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    just try and cope with it i guess but if i were you id never respect someone who treated me like that; i dont respect my own mum because of various things shes done to me in the past and i certainly don't 'love' her. you're not obliged to love/respect someone simply because they're biologically related to you.
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    I understand OP. I'm using my s***** situation as incentive to get the best grades possible to get away.

    I'm sure you can do it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just can't deal with my life atm. I'm 16 (female) and want to just get away from this Hell.

    I'm retaking my maths in November and I'm currently taking 3 A-levels which is too much stress as it is but my mum is not supporting me at all she is always in my case (shouting, hitting me) and she always compare me to my friends and what grade they got at GCSE then she spits at me and calls me a "disappointment" which she has done numerous times and i have enough things on my plate atm.

    I want this C in maths so badly and work hard but she doesn't believe me when i say i revise she doesn't trust me on my phone so has taken it away from me (which i don't mind but that means i can't talk to my friends or tell them how i feel) they know this about my mum so don't trust me or have the confidence to ask me to go out with them.

    I'm not allowed to go out so i have no sense of escapism and I'm not allowed to watch TV for long so it's a school to home mentality and I'm feeling the pressure from all directions.

    I hate when she treats me like this but i still love and respect her. My dad is hardly ever at home and is always working but when he is I'm not allowed to talk to him because apparently I'm the one who causes the problems arguments between my parents. My mum is okay with my younger siblings and i am the eldest so maybe this is why she is like this with me but she just doesn't understand if i talk to her she probably will just shout at me and think I'm *****ing about her to someone at school.

    I'm all alone…

    What can i do?
    Damn. That sounds really rough. Chin up man. Unless you have some place else to go, like a relatives place or something, then I dunno what you can do except endure.
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    just ignore your mum and make no effort with her, she will eventually come to you and apologize then talk about ur feelings.

    lel
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    trust me it really gets so so so much better when you get older. I was like you at 16 I just hated life so much but now I'm 18 everything has changed and I feel so bad for people like you who still have to go through that stage. I know people say it all the time and it sounds like ******** but it will get better. good luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    trust me it really gets so so so much better when you get older. I was like you at 16 I just hated life so much but now I'm 18 everything has changed and I feel so bad for people like you who still have to go through that stage. I know people say it all the time and it sounds like ******** but it will get better. good luck
    Speak for yourself. I'm 18 and it's still ****
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just can't deal with my life atm. I'm 16 (female) and want to just get away from this Hell.

    I'm retaking my maths in November and I'm currently taking 3 A-levels which is too much stress as it is but my mum is not supporting me at all she is always in my case (shouting, hitting me) and she always compare me to my friends and what grade they got at GCSE then she spits at me and calls me a "disappointment" which she has done numerous times and i have enough things on my plate atm.

    I want this C in maths so badly and work hard but she doesn't believe me when i say i revise she doesn't trust me on my phone so has taken it away from me (which i don't mind but that means i can't talk to my friends or tell them how i feel) they know this about my mum so don't trust me or have the confidence to ask me to go out with them.

    I'm not allowed to go out so i have no sense of escapism and I'm not allowed to watch TV for long so it's a school to home mentality and I'm feeling the pressure from all directions.

    I hate when she treats me like this but i still love and respect her. My dad is hardly ever at home and is always working but when he is I'm not allowed to talk to him because apparently I'm the one who causes the problems arguments between my parents. My mum is okay with my younger siblings and i am the eldest so maybe this is why she is like this with me but she just doesn't understand if i talk to her she probably will just shout at me and think I'm *****ing about her to someone at school.

    I'm all alone…

    What can i do?
    Ignore whatever your mother says to put you off. Focus on your exams and subjects. I know what it feels like as I've been through this before, just focus on school and be consistent in everything related to school. Then you can definitely get whatever you want in A-Levels and you can get a C in maths. Make yourself more confident mathematically by thinking GCSE maths is just the basic and ABC of maths as a whole subject. I only got a C in maths as well when I wanted much better and now I'm here again re-taking it to get much better and I'm feeling positive knowing I can do much better.
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    Not quite the same but I can certainly understand the feeling of feeling alone...
    Any how, people tend to mean well when they say it'll be OK, try and see what you can do, be with friends if you can etc... but the only true thing you can seemingly do is to..endure. I mean sure as hell the feeling still exists, but in time you sorta...accept it.

    I guess it wasn't the advise you were looking for though OP
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    I've been living a similar situation for a year now. I got really hard on myself because of my studies. I had family problems, a break up, lots of disappointments and lived with anxiety 24/7.

    I didn't know what to do either, but fortunately I found something to hold on to. Randomly I came across a few artists I really loved. Sometimes I was so amused enjoying their work that I was able to forget my problems and relax for a while.

    So my advice is: find something to distract yourself with, try to create a way of escape, do not overthink, focus on your goals, think more about how great you'll feel once you achieve them and than how hard it is getting. Give yourself a break if you need it.
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    (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
    I understand OP. I'm using my s***** situation as incentive to get the best grades possible to get away.

    I'm sure you can do it.
    (Original post by TouchOfRed_)
    I've been living a similar situation for a year now. I got really hard on myself because of my studies. I had family problems, a break up, lots of disappointments and lived with anxiety 24/7.

    I didn't know what to do either, but fortunately I found something to hold on to. Randomly I came across a few artists I really loved. Sometimes I was so amused enjoying their work that I was able to forget my problems and relax for a while.

    So my advice is: find something to distract yourself with, try to create a way of escape, do not overthink, focus on your goals, think more about how great you'll feel once you achieve them and than how hard it is getting. Give yourself a break if you need it.
    (Original post by The_Internet)
    Not quite the same but I can certainly understand the feeling of feeling alone...
    Any how, people tend to mean well when they say it'll be OK, try and see what you can do, be with friends if you can etc... but the only true thing you can seemingly do is to..endure. I mean sure as hell the feeling still exists, but in time you sorta...accept it.

    I guess it wasn't the advise you were looking for though OP
    (Original post by Shazen)
    Ignore whatever your mother says to put you off. Focus on your exams and subjects. I know what it feels like as I've been through this before, just focus on school and be consistent in everything related to school. Then you can definitely get whatever you want in A-Levels and you can get a C in maths. Make yourself more confident mathematically by thinking GCSE maths is just the basic and ABC of maths as a whole subject. I only got a C in maths as well when I wanted much better and now I'm here again re-taking it to get much better and I'm feeling positive knowing I can do much better.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    trust me it really gets so so so much better when you get older. I was like you at 16 I just hated life so much but now I'm 18 everything has changed and I feel so bad for people like you who still have to go through that stage. I know people say it all the time and it sounds like ******** but it will get better. good luck
    (Original post by okayden)
    just ignore your mum and make no effort with her, she will eventually come to you and apologize then talk about ur feelings.

    lel
    Thank you guys so much for the advice and I really appreciate the support! You guys always know how to make me feel just that little bit better
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    (Original post by cbreef)
    Damn. That sounds really rough. Chin up man. Unless you have some place else to go, like a relatives place or something, then I dunno what you can do except endure.
    Thank you too! And i hope your situation gets better too!
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    One easy thing you can do is to go to a phone shop and buy a cheap phone for £5-10. You might even find one for £10 with credit included. Then you can speak to and text your friends, or at least they can phone you. Also as you are 16 you could look for a job to support yourself and move out of home. Yes, amazing and frightening thought, isn't it? But it is possible. Go from shop to shop asking for jobs and you'll find something eventually. Not that long ago it was normal to leave school at 16 and work for a living. You don't have to endure an extended childhood and dependency on your parents and you don't have to be in this relationship with your mother.
    Contact childline for advice:
    "At age 16
    You can leave home without your parents' or carers' permission. If you become homeless and you're 16 or 17 years old, you may be entitled to help with money, housing, education, training and support from social services.

    You can get practical advice on your rights and what you can do to find a place to live by calling Shelter on 0808 800 4444. Your local council will be able to give you more information on the help you can get.

    Although you can't usually rent a home or claim benefits before the age of 18, there are exceptions. Your local council or a housing advisor will be able to tell you about housing support for under 18s."
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    (Original post by Horsedobbin)
    One easy thing you can do is to go to a phone shop and buy a cheap phone for £5-10. You might even find one for £10 with credit included. Then you can speak to and text your friends, or at least they can phone you. Also as you are 16 you could look for a job to support yourself and move out of home. Yes, amazing and frightening thought, isn't it? But it is possible. Go from shop to shop asking for jobs and you'll find something eventually. Not that long ago it was normal to leave school at 16 and work for a living. You don't have to endure an extended childhood and dependency on your parents and you don't have to be in this relationship with your mother.
    Contact childline for advice:
    "At age 16
    You can leave home without your parents' or carers' permission. If you become homeless and you're 16 or 17 years old, you may be entitled to help with money, housing, education, training and support from social services.

    You can get practical advice on your rights and what you can do to find a place to live by calling Shelter on 0808 800 4444. Your local council will be able to give you more information on the help you can get.

    Although you can't usually rent a home or claim benefits before the age of 18, there are exceptions. Your local council or a housing advisor will be able to tell you about housing support for under 18s."
    Thank you for this advice but I'm not ready to leave home just yet and don't want to be separated from my family and I'm not allowed to go out alone so to buy a phone will be dangerous for me because i will most likely get caught plus i don't have any of my own money and as for a job i want one for experience on my CV but apparently this will distract me from my studies so i can't plus my mum thinks I'm a "slut" for reasons i can't explain so does not trust me to go out. Even uni i have to go to and from and won't be allowed to stay there and have to go to my local one which does not even have the course i want to study…

    Getting organisations in to help will just cause problems and won't be confidential so i partly don't trust them and by getting financial support will be hard to get out of and i don't want to be depend on organisations all my life.

    But i appreciate all you said and thank you for taking the time to listen to me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you guys so much for the advice and I really appreciate the support! You guys always know how to make me feel just that little bit better
    Just focus on your goals and you can definitely reach them!
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    (Original post by Shazen)
    Just focus on your goals and you can definitely reach them!

    I will do and you will too!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you guys so much for the advice and I really appreciate the support! You guys always know how to make me feel just that little bit better
    It's okay.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just can't deal with my life atm. I'm 16 (female) and want to just get away from this Hell.

    I'm retaking my maths in November and I'm currently taking 3 A-levels which is too much stress as it is but my mum is not supporting me at all she is always in my case (shouting, hitting me) and she always compare me to my friends and what grade they got at GCSE then she spits at me and calls me a "disappointment" which she has done numerous times and i have enough things on my plate atm.

    I want this C in maths so badly and work hard but she doesn't believe me when i say i revise she doesn't trust me on my phone so has taken it away from me (which i don't mind but that means i can't talk to my friends or tell them how i feel) they know this about my mum so don't trust me or have the confidence to ask me to go out with them.

    I'm not allowed to go out so i have no sense of escapism and I'm not allowed to watch TV for long so it's a school to home mentality and I'm feeling the pressure from all directions.

    I hate when she treats me like this but i still love and respect her. My dad is hardly ever at home and is always working but when he is I'm not allowed to talk to him because apparently I'm the one who causes the problems arguments between my parents. My mum is okay with my younger siblings and i am the eldest so maybe this is why she is like this with me but she just doesn't understand if i talk to her she probably will just shout at me and think I'm *****ing about her to someone at school.

    I'm all alone…

    What can i do?
    Sorry about what's going on. I know the feeling of getting compared with others' academic performances or other achievements. Makes me feel sick as well. I too faced this many times. When I was your age(I'm 19 now.), I used to HATE this thing(and I still do!) that why should I be compared with other people? Every individual is different from one another. Why should it be that just because I didn't do something as they did be considered some sort of a drawback or a way of losing self respect? It's pathetic tbh. It makes you lose your self-esteem when you go through it in a regular basis actually but the best thing would be is to ignore your mom. Yeah, it gets hard to ignore because a time comes when your temper goes up after listening to all this and you go on the verge of becoming rude with that person but yes, best way is to ignore her. If it happens that you feel depressed and you are unable to focus on your work, you may try to:-
    1. Listen to songs to refresh your mood.
    2. Take a piece of paper and write down your feelings. How you feel,why you feel like this etc and then tear that page into pieces.
    There maybe other stuff but I tend to do these things.
    Finally, don't always feel bad about your mom saying such stuff. The thing is, sometimes society can be a b*tch too. There will always be some jerks who show off their kids' academic performance(in a negative manner I mean to say.) and be like "Look, my kid got straight A*. My kid can do this and that. Why can't your kid do it?" and many other apes*it things(sometimes even making them feel that they are a failure as parents whereas they may actually end up sacrificing so many things for our betterment in the future). They actually say stuff that would cause any parent to actually feel low about themselves also hence they lose their mind and end up bombarding stuff on their own kids, without realizing the fact that they are hurting their own kids' feelings doing so. And, it's not that the kid feels bad about what happened with his/her academic performance, they do. Focus on improving yourself, work hard and keep your spirits up! Don't let such stuff let you go down! I wish you a very good luck in the future and hope things turn out positively!
 
 
 
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