Long distance relationships - Year 13/college and Uni

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    Does anyone have any positive/honest advice or stories they can tell me about long distance relationships? My boyfriend of 2 years has just moved down to Southampton Uni while, being in the year below, I am still studying my A levels about 2-3 hours away. We have seen each other at least every other day pretty much for the past two years and it feels like such a huge shock to the system. I cried a lot last night.

    I am ultimately prepared for the worst, and understand that there will be so many new girls and new people where he is - and also that LDRs require a hell of a lot more effort, but I still can't stop panicking. I'm not going to become clingy or desperate - I'm fully aware that I may not get to have a proper conversation with him for the next two weeks at least, throughout freshers week, and I've got things lined up to fill my spare time with, but I can't stop crying.

    Next year I plan on going to Uni in London, where I will be about an hour away from him which will be closer - and I have the money to go and see him currently at least once a month; we have rough plans of seeing each other exactly a month from now. Sorry for the long rant, but any advice or anyone in my situation who feels like a chat, I'd really appreciate it.

    Thanks!
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    (Original post by n4ta1i3)
    Does anyone have any positive/honest advice or stories they can tell me about long distance relationships? My boyfriend of 2 years has just moved down to Southampton Uni while, being in the year below, I am still studying my A levels about 2-3 hours away. We have seen each other at least every other day pretty much for the past two years and it feels like such a huge shock to the system. I cried a lot last night.

    I am ultimately prepared for the worst, and understand that there will be so many new girls and new people where he is - and also that LDRs require a hell of a lot more effort, but I still can't stop panicking. I'm not going to become clingy or desperate - I'm fully aware that I may not get to have a proper conversation with him for the next two weeks at least, throughout freshers week, and I've got things lined up to fill my spare time with, but I can't stop crying.

    Next year I plan on going to Uni in London, where I will be about an hour away from him which will be closer - and I have the money to go and see him currently at least once a month; we have rough plans of seeing each other exactly a month from now. Sorry for the long rant, but any advice or anyone in my situation who feels like a chat, I'd really appreciate it.

    Thanks!
    Hi! I know how hard this can be. It's good that you've planned things for the next couple of weeks. It sounds like you understand what you're getting into, which is good. Here are my tips:
    • Put aside some time to talk, just you two. Whether you talk all the time, or not so much, put aside some time where neither of you will be busy doing other things so you can just chill and have a chat. Skype is really good for this, as is FaceTime or the Facebook video chat, but calling is good too. You could even set aside a date night. There are cool Chrome extensions and websites that allow you to both watch a Netflix show at exactly the same time.
    • Don't forget to have your own life. When I was in an LDR, he wanted to message me constantly. Even when I was with friends, he'd be messaging me. He'd get upset if I needed a couple of hours to myself and it felt quite suffocating. It's really important for you both to understand. It's still important to still have your own time sometimes, just like it is when you're near to each other.
    • Communication. Don't just chat about your day. If you miss him painfully, let him know. If you're struggling, let him know. Chances are he feels the same way. If you feel like you aren't talking enough, then it's especially important. You don't want to not bring it up, and slowly start hating him for it even though he doesn't know. Putting some time aside to have some time together is really good for this though.
    • Some people may be skeptical and have opinions on your relationship, but as usual, don't let it affect you. Some people are adamant that LDRs never survive. They do!
    • Trust. You both have to really trust each other. You're both in different places, and the other isn't around. You both have to remember that while he's in a different location, nothing has actually changed. You both still feel the same way for each other and you're still the same people.

    I hope this helps in some way or another. Good luck to you both!
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    I met my boyfriend a bit over two years ago. We have been in a long distance relationship since that (I live in Sweden and he lives in England). I have one more year until I will be finished with my IB and we are planning for me to move to England and go to the same university as him. My best advice for you would be to talk regularly (skype, facetime etc.), we try to make a bit of time for that every day. Also meeting up often is a good idea, we have been meeting up almost every holiday since we met.
    It can be really hard to be in a long distance relationship sometimes but try to stay positive and trust him.
    I hope it works out for you
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    My boyfriend has just moved to Warwick Uni, and I am in the exact same position. It's been rough and we've been arguing a lot but we've now started to chill, it is a massive shock to the system and I was very upset and cried a lot too. You just have to keep you mind to the holidays and the summer, get through every day and go "One day closer to seeing him again". If you guys really love each other you'll make it through (not without a few bumps and maybe the odd car crash every now and again (metaphor))

    Be happy for him as well. That is a mistake I made, I was angry at him almost but I got a grip of myself and now we are doing okay It's also great motivation, I am aiming for the same Uni so when I can't be bothered to revise I spend a few minutes thinking and I am rearing to go You need to trust him as well (trust me when I say it's a HUGE part of a LDR).

    I don't agree that distance makes the heart grow fonder (it really doesn't just sucks so bad) but it does make some other things amazing

    PM if you ever need to talk Best wishes OP
 
 
 
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