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first time sex problem

im 19
last sunday (for the first time) i tried to have sex
we had kissed and touched for long enough but i didnt get particularly turned on?!
i was probably about as excited as i would have been had i watched about 60 seconds of porn...
i put my (not fully hard) dick in her anyway but it didnt work out because it hurt her
i had masturbated about 5 hours prior to that encounter
im worried as to why i wasnt very excited?

Reply 1

Varsity

13

How excited are you expecting to be?! Its not like steam will start coming out of your ears.

My advice, calm down, and have a little chat with your girl. IMO the way to go is "I am fine to fool around, and if we have sex, great! but if not lets just have fun"

Hopefully that will reduce any performance anxiety you might be feeling.

Also foreplay is your best friend!! Unless your packing a bratwurst you really should be hurting her much, especially if you were not 100% up.

Just try to remember, most people thing the first time is going to be all fireworks, but the important thing is you both have fun. Dont try having sex until your both 100% ready.

Reply 2

sam_sam

the fact that you'd had a bit of a solo marathon beforehand probs didn't help mate. it's like trying have a nice meal after 5 hours of gorging yourself on crap: you won't feel up to it and the food won't taste as good.. so to speak

Reply 3

nezy90

well if it happens again and ur no "fully" excited then y dont u ask her if she could help u out a bit u kno say summut like "my head is full of things, help me take my mind off things??" but not cheesy lmao. maybe you were nervous about it?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

did it probably hurt her because she wasnt excited enough (she isnt a virgin; she had sex 2 times when she was 15, now 17)?
and i thought i should masturbate first; i hadnt for about a week

Reply 5

snap-crackle-pop

Anonymous

did it probably hurt her because she wasnt excited enough (she isnt a virgin; she had sex 2 times when she was 15, now 17)?

It took me about a month before sex actually stopped hurting..if shes only had sex twice, and that was 2 years ago, then its understandable that it would hurt her a bit. It could aslo be that she wasn't excited enough..just make sure that you have plenty of foreplay next time.

Anonymous

and i thought i should masturbate first; i hadnt for about a week

masturbating first probably wasnt a good move, combined with first time nerves this is most probably why you couldnt get fully aroused..

Reply 6

nezy90

probably because she aint done it for a long time it hurt her.... and may have been best to help urself as u would have exploded much quicker if u hadnt. well to prevent it from hurting her maybe u shld have made her more excited........ 4play n all that jazz (did u spend long on that or rush into things?) would have made it easier for her too....

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

she was wet & initiated it

Reply 8

campbell87

8

Sounds to me like you were just a little nervous. Like its been said, try calimg down a bit and just enjoy in all one step at a time, never underestmate the power of foreplay either!

Reply 9

Zoecb

11

It hurts her the first time - use lube, it'll help. Might also help if she goes on top and lowers herself at her own pace.

As for you, get worked up a bit first. Get her to tease you a bit or something. Tell her what you like! Arousal doesn't always just happen by itself.

Reply 10

nezy90

yer good point, allow her to lower herself onto u. It wouldnt have hurt her as much as it would have her first time, but like i sed earlier she may just not be used to it.......... did she say it hurt?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

nezy90

yer good point, allow her to lower herself onto u. It wouldnt have hurt her as much as it would have her first time, but like i sed earlier she may just not be used to it.......... did she say it hurt?

yes

Reply 12

nezy90

did you both carry on or did u have to stop?.....

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

it never really started; it hurt as soon as i put it in

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

i feel a bit bad that she wasnt aroused enough by me

Reply 15

nezy90

aww don't be... maybe she was embaressed, or nervous you never know. But dont put yourself down okies. next time it will be beter i expect. Just take all the info into account.... make her want u more by teasing thats always good. any other problems???

Reply 16

Flank Runner

try,try,try,try,try...........again, oh, and try again

Reply 17

Kate.

15

If you weren't aroused, then maybe it's the girl? Do you actually like her - as in, do you find her sexually attractive?

Spend longer on foreplay, anyway. Can't be a bad thing, really, haha.

Reply 18

BluesMan

13

sam_sam

the fact that you'd had a bit of a solo marathon beforehand probs didn't help mate. it's like trying have a nice meal after 5 hours of gorging yourself on crap: you won't feel up to it and the food won't taste as good.. so to speak

Hahahahaha

I think he meant he did it once 5 hours before hand, as opposed to continuously for 5 hours before the encounter.

Sorry if you meant that, "solo marathon" made me laugh

Reply 19

Helenia

20

Anonymous

i feel a bit bad that she wasnt aroused enough by me

Even if she was aroused by you, if she hasn't had sex in 2 years, and only did it twice then, it's not just going to slide in perfectly. Especially if you're not fully hard, in which case you're probably going to be trying harder than you would otherwise. I think the two of you need to chill out, use some lube and take things slowly. Find out what turns each other on, and have fun!

(insert obligatory message about safe sex etc...)

first time sex problem

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