This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- I have fallen for someone I shouldn't have, what should I do?
- Dating makes me feel so worthless
- Boys if you had to name one thing about girls what would you say is most attractive
- lost a guy because i was dumb
- General rant
- Girls, do you actually enjoy anal....?
- I need help. I'm confused and sad and maybe some others advice and opinions can help?
- Crush advice???
- 27M given up on girls
- What’s your phobia?!
- A little vent
- handling breakup
- Why do girls/women cheat?
- Boyfriend Can't Finger Me, Hurts like Hell! (virgin)
- hi want to talk
- URGENT - Did i make the right choice by breaking up (has he moved on already??)
- ART CAREER HELP-for a confused soul
- TSR - can you remove this thread? changed my mind
- I haven't told my university about mitigating circumstances
- Bought a G-spot Vibrator - doesnt fit!! Virgin
I guess its true that what you don't know can't hurt you
I did something bad, and found out something that is going to runi my relationship. Posting anon in case my boyfriends comes on here.
I was staying over one night and the next monring he left me alone in his room for sometime. I noticed his phone bill. And thoguht it was qutie expensive considering he never uses it. I had a leaf through (i know i shouldnt have, but it was right in front of me) and discovered a few phone numbers on there that he texts at ridiculous times of the night etc. And what worried me was 2 in particular were reoccuring.
Now he says he never has time to text me when he is at work, and he only checks his phone at lunch blah blah, but his bill showed he texted one particular number over 29 times one moring before and during work, that number wasnt mine. Then there was another number after midnight, with over 33 texts in on session. In clsoer inspection it appeared he was sending photo messgaes to these numbers also.
So being nosey and paranoid i noted down the numbers. Got a new sim card on pay and go so it couldn't be traced to me and rang these numbers.
Both were answered by Scottish Girls .....we live in England, and he has only ever been to scotland without me twice, once with work, and once for a weekend away.
Now i cant stop worrying about it and everytime i see him texting i think is he texting one of them!! What can he text them about so many times? I get like 4 tetxs a day from him but these girls are getting loads. I am so hurt.
I cant confront him about it because he will be angry at what i have done. Now i understand why they say what you don't know can't hurt you. How can i trust him now? Especially when he has been caught out lying to me before.
What can i do if anyhting?
I was staying over one night and the next monring he left me alone in his room for sometime. I noticed his phone bill. And thoguht it was qutie expensive considering he never uses it. I had a leaf through (i know i shouldnt have, but it was right in front of me) and discovered a few phone numbers on there that he texts at ridiculous times of the night etc. And what worried me was 2 in particular were reoccuring.
Now he says he never has time to text me when he is at work, and he only checks his phone at lunch blah blah, but his bill showed he texted one particular number over 29 times one moring before and during work, that number wasnt mine. Then there was another number after midnight, with over 33 texts in on session. In clsoer inspection it appeared he was sending photo messgaes to these numbers also.
So being nosey and paranoid i noted down the numbers. Got a new sim card on pay and go so it couldn't be traced to me and rang these numbers.
Both were answered by Scottish Girls .....we live in England, and he has only ever been to scotland without me twice, once with work, and once for a weekend away.
Now i cant stop worrying about it and everytime i see him texting i think is he texting one of them!! What can he text them about so many times? I get like 4 tetxs a day from him but these girls are getting loads. I am so hurt.
I cant confront him about it because he will be angry at what i have done. Now i understand why they say what you don't know can't hurt you. How can i trust him now? Especially when he has been caught out lying to me before.
What can i do if anyhting?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
I don't know, you are right that you can't confront him
I suppose you could bring Scotland up subtlely...
I would say it may be best to leave it, if he founds out you read his bill, got a new sim card and phoned these girls he's not only going to be angry but rather worried to be honest
What has he been caught lying about before?
I suppose you could bring Scotland up subtlely...
I would say it may be best to leave it, if he founds out you read his bill, got a new sim card and phoned these girls he's not only going to be angry but rather worried to be honest
What has he been caught lying about before?
Reply 2
Aw sorry to hear about what's happened to you. I think it's good you've found out though. Maybe try and distance yourself from him if you don't want a confrontation - this shouldn't be too hard if he's not contacting you much anyway. What feelings do you still have for him?
A phone bill is hardly the most intimate thing to read. It's not like trawling through someone's emails or reading their diary. And if he leaves it lying around then he can't expect people to see it. His mum could pick it up and ask why the hell are you spending so much on your phone etc etc...it's not like you went rooting around for it.
I can completely understand that it's a tricky situation, and the way I see it you can only do one of two things.
Option A is that you carry on as normal and see if anything more concrete happens between him and these Scottish girls that you can raise as a problem, without letting on that you've seen his phone bill. However, you may have to wait a long time for the situation to be resolved if you do this (it obviously is worrying you), if at all.
Option B is that you confront him and say "look, I've seen your phone bill, I know whose numbers these are, so what's going on?" If he lies about it you'll have more of an idea of what sort of person he is; if he tells the truth then at least you'll be able to talk about it (even if he does get all irate about you seeing his phone bill).
So it's up to you really. Hope you manage to sort it out.
I can completely understand that it's a tricky situation, and the way I see it you can only do one of two things.
Option A is that you carry on as normal and see if anything more concrete happens between him and these Scottish girls that you can raise as a problem, without letting on that you've seen his phone bill. However, you may have to wait a long time for the situation to be resolved if you do this (it obviously is worrying you), if at all.
Option B is that you confront him and say "look, I've seen your phone bill, I know whose numbers these are, so what's going on?" If he lies about it you'll have more of an idea of what sort of person he is; if he tells the truth then at least you'll be able to talk about it (even if he does get all irate about you seeing his phone bill).
So it's up to you really. Hope you manage to sort it out.
Reply 5
Ask him outright. What you don't know IS hurting you, especially as you're thinking the worst. It does look suspicious and he's lied to you before ... It's no basis for a relationship if he's treating you with so little respect.
I would have said something like that but it depends what he has lied about before, if it's girls then I would probably agree. However this could be innocent, doesn't really look that way but I would say don't jump to conclusions until you can find out for sure what's going on
Reply 6
He lied about going to the cinema with his friends...he went alone with another girl
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
Reply 7
Anonymous
He lied about going to the cinema with his friends...he went alone with another girl
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
What a penis! Dump him. Baaad, bad news. Seriously, texting a girl that late, that many times spells nothing but phone sex/serious flirtage.
Anonymous
He lied about going to the cinema with his friends...he went alone with another girl
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
Christ. This is so deluded, so pitiful, so utterly pathetic that I can't even be bothered. Sorry.
Reply 10
Im not the easiest girlfriend in the world though, so i think i pushed him away. I sould probably mention it isnt a new relationship its one thats is serious and we have been together nearly 3 years.
He confuses me, he talks bout marriage and stuff. And he keeps going on about me going to uni and worried about guys there
Do you think perhaps he is just keeping his options open because he thinks once i get to uni im guna dump him?
He confuses me, he talks bout marriage and stuff. And he keeps going on about me going to uni and worried about guys there
Do you think perhaps he is just keeping his options open because he thinks once i get to uni im guna dump him?
Reply 11
Anonymous
He lied about going to the cinema with his friends...he went alone with another girl
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
I have brought up Scotland a few times and he hasnt flinched, I brought up texting and sending each other photos...he automatically accused me of reading his phone bill (i denied it) so i know he knows that i know but he is playing such a hard game i cant catch him out. He regularly goes thorugh my phone but i am not even allowed to hold his in my hand.
I still love him with all my heart, and i coudlnt face losing him, but i just want to know what i am doin wrong to make him want to text other girls and lie to me so i can fix that
And I'm sorry to say, you can't fix an utter ********. Do the self-respecting thing and dump the fool.
Reply 12
Ok, there's forgiving then there's... you.
Sorry but I definitely wasn't expecting this
Pathological liar and flirt!
That is very true
I'm sorry but you probably need to escape this relationship, fast
Sorry but I definitely wasn't expecting this
He lied about going to the cinema with his friends...he went alone with another girl
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
He lied about going to a lap dancing club
He lied about being at home when actually he was taking some 17 year old girl "mate" of his out in his car crusing
He lies about girls on MSN and i found photos on his pc.
Pathological liar and flirt!
Seriously, texting a girl that late, that many times spells nothing but phone sex/serious flirtage
That is very true
I'm sorry but you probably need to escape this relationship, fast
Reply 15
Anonymous
Im not the easiest girlfriend in the world though, so i think i pushed him away. I sould probably mention it isnt a new relationship its one thats is serious and we have been together nearly 3 years.
He confuses me, he talks bout marriage and stuff. And he keeps going on about me going to uni and worried about guys there
Do you think perhaps he is just keeping his options open because he thinks once i get to uni im guna dump him?
He confuses me, he talks bout marriage and stuff. And he keeps going on about me going to uni and worried about guys there
Do you think perhaps he is just keeping his options open because he thinks once i get to uni im guna dump him?
Even if that's true, you think that's acceptable!? Christ
You are being the biggest, bushiest doormat.
Three years isn't a reason to stay in a relationship.
Reply 16
Paeony
Ask him outright. What you don't know IS hurting you, especially as you're thinking the worst. It does look suspicious and he's lied to you before ... It's no basis for a relationship if he's treating you with so little respect.
Yep, I agree
And after your reading your last post, I think you have every right to confront him because he has lied before and it is obviously hurting you. You never know, it could be innocent and what does he expect if he's leaving his phone bill lying around for everyone to see?
Walk away now before he has the opportunity to hurt/lie to you even more and find someone who treats you with respect.
Laces
Three years isn't a reason to stay in a relationship.
Exactly.
Seriously, a relationship doesn't have to be like you've just described. I've been with my boyfriend for about the same amount of time that you've been with yours, and he's never done anything like that to me (nor I to him). He's in fact been an unquestionable gentleman throughout our relationship, and you can find someone nice too if you only extricate yourself from this lunatic.
Reply 18
Why am i such a doormat?
Grr but i know when i try to break up with him he will make me feel guilty, or i will go to do it and he would have done somehting nice for me. Grr. Im going to give myself space from him for a few days, if i ignore him completely he may get around to contacting me to see whats wrong.
Grr but i know when i try to break up with him he will make me feel guilty, or i will go to do it and he would have done somehting nice for me. Grr. Im going to give myself space from him for a few days, if i ignore him completely he may get around to contacting me to see whats wrong.
Reply 19
Anonymous
Why am i such a doormat?
Grr but i know when i try to break up with him he will make me feel guilty, or i will go to do it and he would have done somehting nice for me. Grr. Im going to give myself space from him for a few days, if i ignore him completely he may get around to contacting me to see whats wrong.
Grr but i know when i try to break up with him he will make me feel guilty, or i will go to do it and he would have done somehting nice for me. Grr. Im going to give myself space from him for a few days, if i ignore him completely he may get around to contacting me to see whats wrong.
The fact you have to ask is astounding.
Answer: you're with somebody who treats you so incredibly badly and you a) put up with it b) make excuses for him
Grow a backbone then. Just be brave and cut contact.
Related discussions
- I have fallen for someone I shouldn't have, what should I do?
- Dating makes me feel so worthless
- Boys if you had to name one thing about girls what would you say is most attractive
- lost a guy because i was dumb
- General rant
- Girls, do you actually enjoy anal....?
- I need help. I'm confused and sad and maybe some others advice and opinions can help?
- Crush advice???
- 27M given up on girls
- What’s your phobia?!
- A little vent
- handling breakup
- Why do girls/women cheat?
- Boyfriend Can't Finger Me, Hurts like Hell! (virgin)
- hi want to talk
- URGENT - Did i make the right choice by breaking up (has he moved on already??)
- ART CAREER HELP-for a confused soul
- TSR - can you remove this thread? changed my mind
- I haven't told my university about mitigating circumstances
- Bought a G-spot Vibrator - doesnt fit!! Virgin
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 2 months ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 2 months ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
