Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My family completely ignored my coming out Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So, I am gay. My parents have known for a while, and most of my friends know, but I had a hard time coming out to the rest of my family. They are not extremely religious or anything, but they are a bit more on the traditional side. Still, I felt I should and didn't want to hide my girlfriend anymore. I decided to do it on Facebook, because it seemed easiest, and my family is very active on social media. I kept it lighthearted and upbeat (because it does not have to be dramatic).

    The result was total silence.

    I posted something else a few days later, a bit more serious this time, with a picture of my girlfriend and I, and still nothing; no messages; no likes.

    I know it is just Facebook but it's hurtful to see everyone liking my cousin's random food-instagrams and stories about their new IKEA furniture, and everyone ignoring my posts. My family has a history of avoiding painful topics, but this is ridiculous.

    I now want to spam their walls with rainbows until they acknowledge me. Thoughts?
    • #2
    #2

    They have acknowledged it, they probably just don't care. Looks like it's just not as deep as you thought, why the need for so much attention.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    they probably hope it's just a phase
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    no one cares about your sexual orientation, people got work to do
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Ah yes the infamous problem of hiding your sexuality for a long time, revealing it and then realising that not many people care anymore in 2016.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Isn't it a good thing they are ignoring it? I mean they aren't being abusive virtually or in real life, they simply seem not to care. Maybe you could say it to their faces and just see their reactions.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    It is a big deal to me.

    Yes, I need attention from the people I care about when it comes to something which is huge to me, even if they cannot relate to it. I congratulate them on their pregnancies even though I don't want babies myself - I know it matters a huge deal to them and it is just what you do.

    Also, what my uncle had for breakfast is not a big deal, and yet people have plenty to say about that.
    • Very Important Poster
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Because it's actually not a big deal. The world has changed now, more people are open to homosexuality so they're not surprised when someone comes out.

    Would you have preferred if they insulted you, called you horrible names or disowned you?

    You should watch this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgHwF4CNiJA
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by UWS)
    Because it's actually not a big deal. The world has changed now, more people are open to homosexuality so they're not surprised when someone comes out.

    Would you have preferred if they insulted you, called you horrible names or disowned you?

    You should watch this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgHwF4CNiJA
    LMAO I WAS THINKING OF THE EXACT SAME VID WHEN I POSTED EARLIEr.

    Goddamnit wish I'd posted it now.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest I'd be annoyed you didn't feel it was important enough to tell me in person. I understand if you're worried about it but if it's that important to you then it should be a face to face conversation.

    If I was you're family I'd be hurt and annoyed. Facebook is not a way to tell people news that is life-changing. It's an impersonal website filled with people I used to work with and 1/2 friends. I'm fairly sure that's true for everyone. In their eyes (at least the ones that care) you don't consider them important enough to have told them before telling the guy you met on a night out once that you added on Facebook because you were "BFFs" after a few beers.

    The other option is that they just don't care. That's not a bad thing. I tend to ignore people's relationship stuff on Facebook.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe they already had an inkling that you were gay?
    Online

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by UWS)
    Because it's actually not a big deal. The world has changed now, more people are open to homosexuality so they're not surprised when someone comes out.

    Would you have preferred if they insulted you, called you horrible names or disowned you?

    You should watch this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgHwF4CNiJA
    Thats not the world.What you mean is parts of the west.Go to russia,Africa,the entirety of the middle east,the carribean,Asia or southern USA and you will find that actually its not really accepted at all.In 76 countries its illegal to be gay and even in the countries where it is legal its not exactly welcomed is it? It doesnt sound like her family are ok with it anyway,it sounds like her family are ignoring it in the hopes it will go away.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    aww diddums, what were you expecting - a massive coming out party, a fanfare and a letter from the president?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ELVsLP)
    aww diddums, what were you expecting - a massive coming out party, a fanfare and a letter from the president?
    I was expecting "Greats" or "Cools" like what happened in the College Humor video. A simple "like" would have done. I didn't get that - I got the silent treatment.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by ELVsLP)
    aww diddums, what were you expecting - a massive coming out party, a fanfare and a letter from the president?
    :teehee:
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    it's 2016, what if they don't care? shouldn't be a big deal anymore. or it's like you want it to be a big fuss and dance
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 25, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    How are your GCSEs going so far?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.