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He has a girlfriend :(

I've had a crush on this guy, who's also a good friend, for 3 years. However, I found out that he started dating this other girl last week. I am so heartbroken, because I genuinely thought we could have become something. We had so much in common, and got on so well. He was so nice to me, he helped me through tough times, he doesn't judge me when I tell him about my problems, he comforts me when I'm scared, he was everything to me. He wanted me to do well in life, and always kept me feeling motivated. He was so sweet.The fact that I didn't even know that he liked this girl, made this such a shock to me when I found out. This just hurts so much because I had 'loved' him for 3 years, which to me is a long time. I actually thought he was the one for me, and he made me think so too :frown:

How can I get over this crush? How do I 'downgrade' from 'crush' back to 'friend'? I can't cut him out of my life completely, he's done so much for me and has changed my life so much, it's impossible. Also, when we talk, it's as if he's completely oblivious to my feelings, as if nothing had happened. He doesn't know that I had a crush on him, and I'm not planning on telling him any time soon. It's so hard talking to him knowing that nothing that it won't go anywhere. I know it's 'just a crush', but we had been through so much, and it lasted 3 YEARS. :frown:

I've tried finding another crush (as advised by my friends) but I can't see anyone else the way I saw him :frown:

I don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 1

KnowledgeIsBest

Original post by Anonymous

he comforts me when I'm scared

why would you get scared?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by KnowledgeIsBest

why would you get scared?

Like when I had my first operation for example

Reply 3

KnowledgeIsBest

Original post by Anonymous

Like when I had my first operation for example

why is that scary?

Reply 4

Bang Outta Order

Original post by Anonymous

This just hurts so much because I had 'loved' him for 3 years, which to me is a long time. I actually thought he was the one for me, and he made me think so too :frown:

Also, when we talk, it's as if he's completely oblivious to my feelings, as if nothing had happened. He doesn't know that I had a crush on him.

Tell him

Original post by Anonymous

and I'm not planning on telling him any time soon.

Nevermind!

Reply 5

KairosityKilled

Maybe he was/is totally oblivious to your feelings? 3 years is a long time to not tell someone your feelings! I definitely don't think you should cut him out completely but maybe putting a bit of distance will help you get over him. Getting over crushes isn't as easy as finding someone else, Just accept the fact it's going to take a bit of time but be assured that you WILL get over him no matter how unlikely that seems to you right now.

Best of luck :smile:

Reply 6

123moon

Well I'm surprised in the three years of you knowing him that you guys never spoke about your own crushes or partners then you would have known of his now gf...

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

123moon

If i were you i would tell him how you feel just to clear the air but don't just miraculously think that he is going to leave his gf.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I had the exactly same experience with a girl, we could talk for hours, flirt a lot, talk about problems... She was all ways there for me and helped me with so much, you could say she changed my life in a way. However this was a period just over a year. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't cut communication with him as I did with this girl, I had an argument with her and had a right go at her. I've apoligised but she hasn't forgiven me, I saw her today and she completely blanked me and talked through me to someone else. I feel like s*** and can't stop thinking why I said what I said.

What I would recommend is telling him that you had some feelings for him, be honest. If he is like what you said he his he wont mind at all and be understanding. I told this girl I liked her and she didn't feel the same way, she told me that I could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge, so I did, I told her most things. After telling her things I felt better than just keeping bottled up, I told her how I actually felt about her even though she was interested in someone else and it didn't bother her one bit.

Reply 9

shannon4life

you cant do anything about that he has a gf he has a gf

Reply 10

ArsenalFCman

Forget him, it happens.
It happened to me and it was very painful, we all go through it.

Reply 11

davesantana

same bruh my crush of like 1 month probs has a bf cuz shes always on the phone. but dw i got a new 1

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by ArsenalFCman

Forget him, it happens.
It happened to me and it was very painful, we all go through it.

Original post by shannon4life

you cant do anything about that he has a gf he has a gf

Wow guys, this is a 3 year old post! I've moved on with life (may have taken me over a year) and have found a guy that treats me well and loves me very much. I'm so glad that this whole situation led me to open up to meeting new people because I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. I didn't even realise that there was much better out there than simply a nice guy that would 'help me through tough times' :ahee: