I feel like my life is pointless?

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    Im 16 and currently doing my a levels, im a sixth form student. I have and struggle with anxiety and depression. I have like no friends, id say like 2 'school friends' but outside of school, nothing. I sit in everyday and feel like its pointless in me even being here. Ever since ive had major heart surgery last year for a valve replacement ive been dealing with; low self esteem, depression, hopelessness, high levels of anxiety and self loathing, its probably the worst and best thing thats happened to me, i feel lucky that ive been diagnosed with a heart problem and that its sorted instead of it being too late and dying but then its the worst thing as i have to look at a massive, thick heart surgery scar everyday, along with the annoying tick my mechanical valve makes everytime my heart beats (which i really cant stick, but i pretend its nothing) which means im on warfarin for the rest of my life (a blood thinner) meaning that i probably wont drink (so much for my social life lol) and i have to be very careful i dont fall or hurt myself because i can bleed waaay more easily than others.

    I dont get bullied or anything, i just dont feel like living anymore; im not interested in relationships or going out anymore like i used to. Once girls find out i had a heart operation they look at me as if ive two faces and they probably think im some sort of fragile old man...and they stop talking to me.

    Every single time i do start talking to a girl or someone at school all they mention is the school formal/drinking/partying at the weekends or drinking at the park , i just feel left out and isolated because i cant do this because of my medical condition (not that id want to) but i feel really isolated and alone because im the only one dealing with it..

    Can anyone give me any advice? Would be appreciated
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    well the meaning bit of life is actually a blank box you have to fill in yourself. obviously if you think lifes sole greatest thing is getting drunk then sure you're gonna be depressed if you're gonna miss out on that. but getting drunk isn't anything special and tbh I find a lot of people are just moving away from alcohol - especially now it has been proven in no uncertain terms that alcohol directly causes several different types of cancer. would you feel like you were missing out because you couldn't hang around smoking cigarettes with people?

    no reason you can't attend a party and just not get drunk. while everyone else is falling over around you in a stupor you'll be able to magpie right in on the choice talent mate and tbh i think it would honestly impress most girls that you had the strength and discipline to just not drink (they don't have to know medically you can't )
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    Why can't you go to social events? I had muslim friends in 6th form who had fun at parties but didn't drink. Most people won't have a problem with you not drinking
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    Try and seek some medical help for your depression.

    I understand how it is to feel like life is completely pointless and as difficult it is, you have to realise you are the only person who can give any kind of meaning to your life. Find something you're passionate about (if not, explore EVERYTHING until you find something) and shape your life around it.

    My sympathies to you.
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    Thanks mate

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    (Original post by IrishStudent46)
    Im 16 and currently doing my a levels, im a sixth form student. I have and struggle with anxiety and depression. I have like no friends, id say like 2 'school friends' but outside of school, nothing. I sit in everyday and feel like its pointless in me even being here. Ever since ive had major heart surgery last year for a valve replacement ive been dealing with; low self esteem, depression, hopelessness, high levels of anxiety and self loathing, its probably the worst and best thing thats happened to me, i feel lucky that ive been diagnosed with a heart problem and that its sorted instead of it being too late and dying but then its the worst thing as i have to look at a massive, thick heart surgery scar everyday, along with the annoying tick my mechanical valve makes everytime my heart beats (which i really cant stick, but i pretend its nothing) which means im on warfarin for the rest of my life (a blood thinner) meaning that i probably wont drink (so much for my social life lol) and i have to be very careful i dont fall or hurt myself because i can bleed waaay more easily than others.

    I dont get bullied or anything, i just dont feel like living anymore; im not interested in relationships or going out anymore like i used to. Once girls find out i had a heart operation they look at me as if ive two faces and they probably think im some sort of fragile old man...and they stop talking to me.

    Every single time i do start talking to a girl or someone at school all they mention is the school formal/drinking/partying at the weekends or drinking at the park , i just feel left out and isolated because i cant do this because of my medical condition (not that id want to) but i feel really isolated and alone because im the only one dealing with it..

    Can anyone give me any advice? Would be appreciated
    I am sorry about the issues you've been facing. I know how hard and annoying illnesses can be... It's hard to forget, you can't distract yourself from yourself...

    You're 16, I promise you'll find many girls as your grow up who don't see the heart condition as a part of you, it will become a minor thing. I know it seems huge right now for you, because it's been hard, but it's hardly who you are. When something like this happens we begin to see life with less purpose, or ourselves as that protective bubble bursts, and things like good fate and destiny sort if good things in life disappear. I lost something very dear to me lately and I can't help but see the world as nothing more than atoms at times. It takes time but that energy life used to have will come back. Best wishes with everything, I wish so hard I could help you in one way or the other. I'm sending you all my love and support. Keep your chin up!
 
 
 
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