Recently met, but I can't stop thinking about her

    • Thread Starter

    Apologies, this is a long one. Skip to top comment for brief version .

    Before I start just a bit of background: I'm a nerdy guy, not been in any real relationships and definitely not used to a girl actually being interested in me.

    Ok so I moved to uni about two weeks ago now and met a girl (will call her Claire for now) in the same halls (not roomates, tht would be far to weird).
    We got on pretty well, and over freshers I got the impression that she liked me. This was from when we met at parties, ran into each other around town and also from female friends saying 'so... what do you think of Claire?'

    I didn't really act on it at first, I've git a pretty bad track record for liking girls who don't like me back and I didn't want to get sucked in after a week of uni.

    Anyway fast forward and we are on a night out with friends, and the flirting on both sides is real. We're both fairly drunk and my usual awkwardness is gone because 'Holy **** This Girl I Like Actually Likes Me Back!'. We get to a bar and when shes away I find out her friends are concerned; they know we have a thing for each other but they're worried that, in our drunken states, I might try and go too far. I assure them that I know shes drunk and I'm not going to try anything, which seems to content them.

    Fast forward again and we're in a club (they were there earlier as I had to go back and collect my dropped wallet) and on the dance floor we end up making out. I try and make sure she's ok with everything (I'm really bad at reading body language and worried she may be trying to get away) and she laughs and pulls me closer. This is my first time, its amazing, best night of my life so far hands down.

    So eventually we pry ourselves away, find our friends and leave. This is where I get confused, as when we are walking as a group she starts crying, and needs get friend rushes over to console her as we're walking. I immediately **** myself, thinking it's about me, but about ten minutes later she catches yo to me, and starts talking about how it's her fault, I'm too good for her, etc. I try my best to console her, tell her she hasn't done anything wrong, and I think it's ok. We all get food, she calls her mum, acts fine and we all part ways at the halls.

    The next day we message a bit, I check she's doing ok after yesterday but it's mainly just chat. That night a small group meet at her flat to get takeaway, watch have a few drinks (I end up having a few more, which in hindsight isn't great). We end up falling asleep on the couch, sort of snuggled up as best we can (a flatmate came home and joined us, wedging herself between the two of us). It's nice, but there's a fair few people in a small space and we're both tired/tipsy/im drunk, so I'm hardly gonna make a move there and then.

    When it ends and me and the other guy are leaving, I get called back in. Claire, tipsy and very tired, has just been half carried into her bed by her flatmates, and is demanding I come back and say goodnight. It's honestly almost a better feeling than the night before, and I walk away womdering when I'm next seeing her again.

    Today, we didn't see each other (both had work for tomorrow, which is fairly understandable) and barely messaged. I try and play it cool and nit be overeager, but any message she takes while to reply. It's pretty disheartening.

    Every night now I've gone to bed thinking about her, wondering whenlther I'm jumping the gun, going too slow and how long till I'm inevitability going to ruin everything or if I might just have lucked out and found someone who tolerates me.

    Any and all advice is greatly appreciated, I've asked my close friends but tbh most of them knew as much as me. So far best I've heard was 'don't overthink it' which I think ill try tomorrow.
    • Thread Starter

    For those who cba reading it all:
    I met a girl
    She likes me back
    Flirted a fair bit
    Made out in club
    Watched film together with friends and cuddled
    Takes her time replying to meassages, which makes me look really over eager.
    I'm fuvking clueless of what to do.

    Give it time, you've only known her for like 1-2 weeks. Don't rush things but do continue interacting with her. Flirt, hang out together and then you'll want to go on dates with her. I know you've heard this before but don't analyze it too much.
    • Thread Starter

    (Original post by UWS)
    Give it time, you've only known her for like 1-2 weeks. Don't rush things but do continue interacting with her. Flirt, hang out together and then you'll want to go on dates with her. I know you've heard this before but don't analyze it too much.
    Cheers for the advice. It's quite helpful for a random stranger to give their opinion.

    Just go to her and tell her you enjoy her company and want to hang out some more. Trust me I'm a girl and there's nothing more attractive than a guy whose confident and knows what he wants.
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 27, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Today on TSR
Does your body insecurities make you avoid PE or exercise?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.