Another one of those threads, hehe

First off i'd like to thank you in advance, should reply to this post - It's good. And then I'd like to say sorry for the wall of text.

Now, without further delay here is my problem.
I'm your average 17 year old young man, goes to school, gets good grades, plays Sports but since Christmas I've been feeling empty and weird, I have an idea as to why but at my age it just seems so unlikely and I don't like the idea that it could be happening

My parents have been divorced for 8 years now after a 17 year marriage, they broke up when I was 9 and up till then I lived in Paris. After the split my Mother decided to move to London as she had family there so she took me with her and has raised me ever since. I visit my Father in Paris every holiday I get and 60% of the time we go and visit his family some 400 k/m away from Paris. 2 years after my parents split my Father's younger brother got divorced too, but he quickly found a new partner who has 2 daughters. So anyway in 2002 we visit his brother and his new partner and her daughters, I'm 12 at this point I was more into video games than anything else, for instance girls. One of her daughters is 1 year younger than me and the other is 18 (6years) so I didn't really pay much attention to her. But anyway if you know kids our age you'd know we would play any random hide and seek games regardless of gender - so we did! Nothing really special at this I still thought of myself as an old kid.

Anyway as I said we would visit fairly often but between 2002 and 2006 although we had visited, we never saw the 2 girls because they were with their real dad on holiday. Come Christmas 2006 we came and she was there. At this point at school I had built up a reputation of being the school's charmer as I had grown into a handsome young man (I'm no being vain, people tell me none stop), so I had girls chasing me for my number or MSN even relationships, I knew better I had to focus on my studies before considering relationships. But anyway X-mas 2006, I didn't think much of this girl, just that you know she was technically my cousin but biologically wasn't and I thought we would have jokes, which we did! I remember when I 1st left London to visit my dad for Christmas, I was eager to return and play WoW(World of Warcraft and overly addictive game), but when we got to my uncle's things changed, I didn't wana go back, I wanted to stay forever and spend every second of those 4 days with her; we connected like 2 teenagers would the classical insults and teasing, nothing special. Every opportunity she had, she would come and sit close to me, almost following me (Not that I minded), she was so polite to me, despite living in a more rank part of her town and having a rather foul mouth. We had alot in common. On the last night there she asked if I wanted to watch T.V in her room, wanting to spend every last second I had with her, and knowing I was leaving very early the next day, I accepted. We laid on her bed and watched what was possibly the crappest Casino Movie ever ^.^. We didn't do anything, I'm responsible and so is she and to top it off she is technically my cousin.

Next morning as my brothers and Dad are getting dressed etc I'm still in the little bed below my little cousin's (Couldn't sleep in the same room as her for obvious reason) still sleeping whilst my little cousin has gone off to play Habbo hotel, and she walks in and lies on the bed and starts starring at me I stare back, we stared at each other for a good 3 minutes before she told me I had to get ready, I didn't want to but I had to. The trip back was a nightmare, every meter we took away from her house made me want to weep, but I couldn't I was in a car full of burly men (As the youngest mind you), when we finally got home my Dad made dinner, I wasn't hungry, I'm usually always hungry, so I lie in the bed I'm supposed to sleep in and I finally cry, very quietly so no-one could hear. Bed time I can't sleep. When I finally returned to London, I didn't wana play WoW, at all.

I've never really believed in all this Love business, maybe because I'm too young, maybe because I'm not that kind of person - my Mum kept telling me in the past that one day i'll fall in love and I would always laugh at her. After Christmas I thought it would pass, well 9 months on it hasn't. I think about her everyday. I don't think about her the same way I think about other girls, I deeply respect her.

I'm faced with quite of number of problems:
- Does she feel the same way? Unlikely I think.
- She's my cousin lol??!!
- She lives so far!
- Should I tell her? I don't want to ruin a good friendship, even if it is only on-screen and stuff.
- Am I too young to fall in love?
- Tell me its puppy love pls

If you've read this far, Kudos and thank you, really hoping for some advice as I wouldn't dare ask anyone I knew face to face my Mum would pinch my cheeks and say "Haha! I told you didn't I?"

Well that about sums it up, you are indeed brave if you've read this far.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

EDIT: 1st line wrote "Good", meant to say "Good to know I can get a bit help from this forum"

Reply 2

grammar_king

2

I think number 2 is the biggest problem. I don't know how they do things in France but... (Edit: sorry actually read that paragraph instead of skimming, she's not blood so it's no problem)

I think you should turn your attentions elsewhere. At least you're not gonna see her every day or anything, find someone else.

Reply 3

grammar_king

2

Oh and you're definitely not too young. A fair few of the long term couples I know started off at about your age.

Reply 4

Rutter knows best!

12

she is'nt technically your cousin though is she? well not in the blood line?

there is thing weird thing with like extended family were you do seem to have this weird connection that well jus seems the obvious step to well you know..... but then suddenly you think "is this right?".

i think if you honestly felt she felt the same way then you should go for it.

i personally would think any less of you for going with what you think is right for you.