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Should I lend/give my friend money?

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    #1

    My friend recently found out that he failed some exams at uni and needs £580 to resit these exams or he can't continue. He has £100 in savings but can't afford the rest and his family don't have much money either.

    I'm earning about £300-£400 a week at the moment and am spending about £50-£80 in that same time. I have about £1200 right now. I'm trying to save at the moment but not for anything in particular.

    Should I lend him the money? I've been friends with him for 5 years now and I feel really bad that he can't afford it, but I don't have that much money myself and as you can imagine, £500 is quite a significant amount for an 18 year old. I think he'll pay me back but I will feel a bit awkward asking for money off him when I know he doesn't have much and I'm not sure how quickly he can earn it.
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    Lend part of it. Maybe 100 quid
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    At the end of the day it's his own fault. Although you care about him, it's not your job to dig him out of the hole he jumped into. Hope you make the right decision for yourself.
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    When considering lending money you should always remember this:
    "Don't lend money you can't afford to lose"
    Also, some people say don't mix money and friendship, but I think that's more personal.
    I'm surprised his uni doesn't offer help for the retakes, and also that he's only just found out that he needs money for retakes (but I'm not a uni student so I don't really know how it works, just know a couple of my older friends who had to retake and their experiences). Make sure you are 100% sure that he needs that much for retakes (I've heard of people being conned out of money by people they thought were their friends for this sort of thing). Then consider what I said above as to whether you want to lend it.
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    Can he access help through to learning fund at uni?

    I agree with the user above who said to only lend if you can afford to lose it.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by The_JoKeR)
    Lend part of it. Maybe 100 quid
    I wish I could but I don't think he can get the rest of money from anywhere else so it'd be kind of pointless

    (Original post by johnTroy1)
    At the end of the day it's his own fault. Although you care about him, it's not your job to dig him out of the hole he jumped into. Hope you make the right decision for yourself.
    True, but I would just feel bad knowing that I had the money to help him but chose not to
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wish I could but I don't think he can get the rest of money from anywhere else so it'd be kind of pointless



    True, but I would just feel bad knowing that I had the money to help him but chose not to
    Hmm if he can find another source promise to lend him it then, not before.
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    Say your sibling or a parent needed the money and you've given it to them or you're saving up for a car or something
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    Also, make sure you're confident he can pass the resit. The last thing you want is for you to give him the loan only to fail again.
    #2

    Lend it if you reallly feel it necessary but write it all out and have them sign it. If you want to be extra precautious have another witness sign also- and maybe have a date they should pay it back? This might all seem ott but 580 is a lot of money
    Ps why do resits cost so much
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Lemur14)
    When considering lending money you should always remember this:
    "Don't lend money you can't afford to lose"
    Also, some people say don't mix money and friendship, but I think that's more personal.
    I'm surprised his uni doesn't offer help for the retakes, and also that he's only just found out that he needs money for retakes (but I'm not a uni student so I don't really know how it works, just know a couple of my older friends who had to retake and their experiences). Make sure you are 100% sure that he needs that much for retakes (I've heard of people being conned out of money by people they thought were their friends for this sort of thing). Then consider what I said above as to whether you want to lend it.
    That's a really good way of thinking about it actually it's a foreign uni, I think the way it works in his country is that everyone can go to uni for free but if you fail, you have to pay to retake as you're paying for your own mistakes, if that makes sense. I'm not sure, I'll ask him. I trust him to be honest with me, but it's horrible thinking that some people can do that to their friends

    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Can he access help through to learning fund at uni?

    I agree with the user above who said to only lend if you can afford to lose it.
    Foreign uni, don't think that exists unfortunately I can technically afford to lose it but it's still a lot of money to me, if that makes sense
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    Agree 100% with Lemur.

    Do you trust the friend? He is in another country? If so you should be prepared to write it off.
    Did he ask to borrow any money?
    It would depend on how good a friend he was, timescales and how much you believe his story. I would consider £100-200. No more. He can find the rest from elswhere.
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    I would never expect a friend to give me £500 in these circumstances, it's a lot of money, especially at the age you are. It's half your savings. And, as others have said, you need to be prepared that he can't afford to repay it - even if he tries. Either way, I don't think you need to feel guilty. This isn't refusing to give your friend £5 for the train home, it's a lot of money.

    Can he not use a student overdraft? Or get a family member to use an overdraft?
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    Lend it but make him pay some of it as soon as possible on a daily basis
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    If you want to be generous to your friend , give him the money - no strings attached.

    Never, never lend people money. If they haven't got enough money now, how on earth are they going to repay you? You will end up the bad guy by reminding him you want your money back. It will ruin your relationship.

    Shakespeare - neither a borrower nor a lender be....
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    I wouldn't.

    People - friends or not - take advantage of generosity, and might expect you to bail them out every time they need financial help. Keep in mind that he might be lying - just because he's a friend doesn't mean he is honest about what he intends to do with the money.

    If he's a real friend, he will understand that you're still young and that that amount of money is a ridiculous amount of money to lend from a friend. If he isn't a true friend, he will take the money and you won't see him for dust - or he'll just keep asking, or even deny that you loaned it to him. If you decide to give him the money, don't just give him the money - set conditions, write out a contract of sorts and have an independent person to witness it and have him sign it, don't just hand over £580 because it really is a hell of a lot of cash to part with. Certainly ask that it all be paid back - whether it's in instalments of £100 or one lump sum, but you need it back and be clear about that.

    At the end of the day, it's up to you what you choose to do - it's your money - but beware. Once money comes between friendships, things usually cease to be the same and relationships can turn extremely sour where there is money owed.

    Personally, the only person I would lend money to is my mum - she's the only person I trust to actually pay me back.
 
 
 
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Updated: October 5, 2016
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