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    Hi,

    I'm 21, M. My background:

    I graduated college with the following qualification: ICT BTEC Level 3 Diploma (A-levels). I then wanted to progress onto ICT HND. However, my college, Tresham, stopped offering the ICT HND so I was forced to study elsewhere. Namely, university.

    I had two potential universities. Northampton or De Montfort. I chose the latter primarily because I thought I'd rather commute by train than bus. I also had a friend attending DMU, so familiar company was nice. I went with ICT Games Design (Bsc Hons), a three year course which I thought I'd enjoy, and probably still have mostly the same jobs available to me as if I had went with the ICT HND.

    While I enjoyed ICT BTEC Level 3, I didn't enjoy ICT Games Design. The course had various and many 'irrelevant' modules like maths, databases, etc. I simply wasn't having fun whatsoever. I hated it. It wasn't worth the commute or debt. I also remained unsure whether games design was really what I wanted.

    I've always grew up believing that I'd study as much as possible, get degrees, or else I'd be working at McDonalds. I therefore didn't want to drop out, but I didn't know what to do. In a panic, I switched courses. While I would have tried the course a little longer, DMU told me that I must switch courses within the first two weeks, or I cannot switch courses until the next year. So, I switched courses at the very end of my second week. I switched to Film Studies with Mandarin.

    I opted for this course for several reasons. I thought I'd enjoy this much more, and that at this point I'm just gonna get the Bachelor's Degree.

    It's true, this course has been more fun. I passed the first year of three years. But it's also been considerable work. It's also a long commute. And I'm now so scared on what to do. I'm not planning on pursuing careers out of Film Studies or Mandarin; it's just for the degree. Mandarin has been incredibly difficult, and I only just passed this first year. I don't think I'll pass the second of third years. It seems weird that I'd study Mandarin, something so difficult, when I don't plan on making use of the language post graduation. Nor Film Studies. Is it worth studying even I won't use these degrees?!

    So, I'm lost. I'm so scared. I don't know whether I should continue this course, which I'm only doing for a degree, a certificate, or not. If I drop out, I have no idea what I'll do. I doubt I'll get any ICT jobs from my current level 3 qualifications. I'm also 21 with **** social skills. And I feel like post graduation, after all the hard working, commuting, and massive debt I'm gonna be in the same situation. I'm mostly doing it because I know a degrees valued highly, even if you don't pursue a career in it, but I'm unsure what to do now.

    Basically, I feel so lost in life. I feel screwed. I'm depressed. I hate the commuting. It's considerable work. I have no money. The only money I get is from the student grant, which pays my trains, but then I'm also getting massive debt. I'm so depressed, so crushed financially, and so not sure what to do. I'm awake at 2AM typing this because I have a terrible sleep schedule. I've never been able to sleep properly.

    Above all this, I feel like I have no life. This entire holiday I've done very little. I've mostly just worried massively, as well as eating much more and weight-lifting because I'm so conscious about my body. I feel like I have no life. No chance at a girlfriend. No idea what to do career wise. I feel screwed. It's almost like killing myself's the only option out. I just don't feel like I'll be happy whatever I do, and will be screwed following even graduating Uni.

    Ultimately, my thoughts are all over the place. I don't know what anyone can do to help. Is it worth pursuing jobs in IT with my current qualifications? I don't even like IT, but I'm capable with basic work (Microsoft Office) and some basic coding, so it's more comfort food than anything. I don't really fancy the ICT HND either. I just don't know what to say or do. I'm so scared... I'm 21... I feel like I'm on a time limit... and I can't live with my mom forever. My dad's actually 'kicking me out' of his house so I'm living with my mother which might not last long. Then I'm homeless. I have no money. No income. No real qualifications. No passion. No life. No girlfriend. A cleft lip and palate, a skinny body, and I feel like a ugly little boy not a man. I'm so scared that I have no future whatsoever. What's more, I must make my decision regarding Uni now. If I drop out, if I return, I can never get student grant money again which would really hurt me even more. I only have a week to decide... but I'll never be sure.

    Thank you should anyone actually read this!
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    You're not alone m8.

    I'm ****ed too.
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    Hi, I just couldnt read and not reply. I am going through some stuff with my family too atm, hence me being awake at 2am, just had an aimless drive in tears, so much of what you said resonated with me.

    I can not give you the answers I am sorry. But, talk to your Mum, she loves you, she will understand and listen, open up to her, say the things you said here.

    Only try and tackle one little problem at a time, everything together must seem impossible, take small steps, small positive decisions.

    There are good things about yourself, you just can't see them right now because of the place you are in.

    Go to student welfare or counselling or your GP, it is a big ask for you to try and solve all these problems on your own, a little help talking things through with someone else will help.

    Things will get better, things will fall into place, things will not always feel the way they do tonight, remember that x x
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    You're not alone m8.

    I'm ****ed too.
    you ok?
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    (Original post by Impressive)
    you ok?

    Yup. :hugs:

    A bit screwed in some ways. Nothing new really.

    You?
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    (Original post by Holty55)
    Hi,

    I'm 21, M. My background:

    I graduated college with the following qualification: ICT BTEC Level 3 Diploma (A-levels). I then wanted to progress onto ICT HND. However, my college, Tresham, stopped offering the ICT HND so I was forced to study elsewhere. Namely, university.

    I had two potential universities. Northampton or De Montfort. I chose the latter primarily because I thought I'd rather commute by train than bus. I also had a friend attending DMU, so familiar company was nice. I went with ICT Games Design (Bsc Hons), a three year course which I thought I'd enjoy, and probably still have mostly the same jobs available to me as if I had went with the ICT HND.

    While I enjoyed ICT BTEC Level 3, I didn't enjoy ICT Games Design. The course had various and many 'irrelevant' modules like maths, databases, etc. I simply wasn't having fun whatsoever. I hated it. It wasn't worth the commute or debt. I also remained unsure whether games design was really what I wanted.

    I've always grew up believing that I'd study as much as possible, get degrees, or else I'd be working at McDonalds. I therefore didn't want to drop out, but I didn't know what to do. In a panic, I switched courses. While I would have tried the course a little longer, DMU told me that I must switch courses within the first two weeks, or I cannot switch courses until the next year. So, I switched courses at the very end of my second week. I switched to Film Studies with Mandarin.

    I opted for this course for several reasons. I thought I'd enjoy this much more, and that at this point I'm just gonna get the Bachelor's Degree.

    It's true, this course has been more fun. I passed the first year of three years. But it's also been considerable work. It's also a long commute. And I'm now so scared on what to do. I'm not planning on pursuing careers out of Film Studies or Mandarin; it's just for the degree. Mandarin has been incredibly difficult, and I only just passed this first year. I don't think I'll pass the second of third years. It seems weird that I'd study Mandarin, something so difficult, when I don't plan on making use of the language post graduation. Nor Film Studies. Is it worth studying even I won't use these degrees?!

    So, I'm lost. I'm so scared. I don't know whether I should continue this course, which I'm only doing for a degree, a certificate, or not. If I drop out, I have no idea what I'll do. I doubt I'll get any ICT jobs from my current level 3 qualifications. I'm also 21 with **** social skills. And I feel like post graduation, after all the hard working, commuting, and massive debt I'm gonna be in the same situation. I'm mostly doing it because I know a degrees valued highly, even if you don't pursue a career in it, but I'm unsure what to do now.

    Basically, I feel so lost in life. I feel screwed. I'm depressed. I hate the commuting. It's considerable work. I have no money. The only money I get is from the student grant, which pays my trains, but then I'm also getting massive debt. I'm so depressed, so crushed financially, and so not sure what to do. I'm awake at 2AM typing this because I have a terrible sleep schedule. I've never been able to sleep properly.

    Above all this, I feel like I have no life. This entire holiday I've done very little. I've mostly just worried massively, as well as eating much more and weight-lifting because I'm so conscious about my body. I feel like I have no life. No chance at a girlfriend. No idea what to do career wise. I feel screwed. It's almost like killing myself's the only option out. I just don't feel like I'll be happy whatever I do, and will be screwed following even graduating Uni.

    Ultimately, my thoughts are all over the place. I don't know what anyone can do to help. Is it worth pursuing jobs in IT with my current qualifications? I don't even like IT, but I'm capable with basic work (Microsoft Office) and some basic coding, so it's more comfort food than anything. I don't really fancy the ICT HND either. I just don't know what to say or do. I'm so scared... I'm 21... I feel like I'm on a time limit... and I can't live with my mom forever. My dad's actually 'kicking me out' of his house so I'm living with my mother which might not last long. Then I'm homeless. I have no money. No income. No real qualifications. No passion. No life. No girlfriend. A cleft lip and palate, a skinny body, and I feel like a ugly little boy not a man. I'm so scared that I have no future whatsoever. What's more, I must make my decision regarding Uni now. If I drop out, if I return, I can never get student grant money again which would really hurt me even more. I only have a week to decide... but I'll never be sure.

    Thank you should anyone actually read this!

    First of all.

    1. You mention killing yourself or feeling like it. You are obviously feeling a lot of stress. If this is the case ot you are having thoughts of doing soemthing silly, then phone the Samaritans. 116 123

    http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can...you/contact-us

    2. Go to your GP and see if you have an issue with stress and depression.

    3. The pressures I get from you are financial, inability to cope with exams, worry about your future, unhappiness with course, no money, fatigue from the commite, loneliness, hopelessness, impending failure ,lost and being overwhelmed.

    4. From reading your description you have made some impulsove decisions, which havent been the best thought out and in fact havent worked out that great.

    5. If it were me and I was in your position I would take a step back and work out what I really wanted. It seems you dont know. If you go forward you think you will fail and have 2 years of a degree that is going to make you miserable. Film studies with mandarin seems a strange choice to say the least unless you had ideas about becoming involved in the Chinese film industry imo. For your degree to be much use you really need a 2:1 and from what you write that is unlikely. So proceeding with this degree could be a very expensive mistake, if you will not cope with the course, get a poor degree , be stressed and miserable about it. I think Mandarin would be very useful, but better to have it with something like economics or just pure manadarin or with Cantonese. As it is instincts say it isnt going to end well.

    6. You need to go and talk to your tutor about your prospects and mentiin how much you are struggling. My gut feeling is I would suspend studies, because you dont know what to do. This would give you the option of returning.

    7. During the year off you could:
    -Get treatment for stress/ depression- GP and soem therpay.
    -take a break from commuting and worry about your degree.- This should destress you.
    -get a job- earn money- reducing stress.
    -stop incurring student debt
    -preserve student finance- keeping options of alternative study open.
    - use the time to explore what you really wnat to do including other options.
    -get some careers advice.

    8. To do this you need to talk to your tutor. You also need to not enrol for your second year. You need to clear it with student finance. At the moment you get your degree funded +1 year. You can count the Mandarin as your gift year, so as long as you dont start the 2nd year it means they will fund a complete degree for you, if you choose another degree. If you have enrolled, then you would need to make a compelling personal reasons claim for sudent finance to disregard this years loan- you would provide medical evidence about stress and maybe deprssion forcing you to give up the course. That would preserve your finance. If not then you would have to fund the first uear of any course yourself and it could tae you quite a while tosave £15-20k.

    9. If you puts your studies on hold as suggested in 8, then that will open up the chance of doing the things in 7. Youve made some poor decisions based on poor research and not enough thought about what you really want , what will suit you, impact of travel etc. Dont make decisions until you know what it is you wnat to do.

    10.If you suspend, then you will just need to get a job, maybe an apprenticeship that you cna earn enough money to survive on and cna give you time to think. If you are going to get kicked out then your traget needs to be to raise enough money for a deposit on a room and your first months rent. You cna then try and get housing benefit. Talk to someone like Shelter or CAB about that.

    11. I know its difficult and stressful, but at the moment you need to stabilise and get yourself space and time. You are only 21, so although you are thinking you should have stuff sorted out you really have plenty of time. If you wnat the option of uni and for it to work then you need to prserve the finance and get a good degree. That means knowing what you wnat to do and being in the right frame of mind to know you can make a success of it. That means taking a step back rather than following a path where its almost certain ends in more stress, unhappiness , more debt and limited options. I say his because from what you write then I sense you dont think theres much chance of turning it round.

    12. Understand that if you spend then you will have the pressure of finding a job etc and it could be tough if you cnat stay with your mum for long, but you have to grit your teeth and survive. It will not be as bad as slowly failing a degree you dont even know you want to do.

    13. Keep calm. You can solve it if you deal with the issues and are prepared for what follows. Good luck.


    http://www.dmu.ac.uk/dmu-students/th...g-a-break.aspx

    ps I wouldnt do the commute if at all possible for any future studies.
    pps you cna explain to toyr mum that you have taken a break to earn money and suspended rather than quit. That cna keep them off your back about being thrown out or failing becayse the option to return is still there. Ofc you dont have to go back.
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    Yup. :hugs:

    A bit screwed in some ways. Nothing new really.

    You?
    you can pm

    I'm good thanks
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    I felt the same too.I had absolutely no sense of direction when I was started out.I initially opted finance field for the money.But gradually I knew that it was not for me and I had a lot of time to cope with it but then I switched courses and I am currently doing a health care training program in cestar college it not only made me happier but made me more useful in the society and I am happy with that.
 
 
 
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