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Which way should I go?

I wasn’t quite sure on where I should actually post this thread but here goes:
I have a very hard decision to make. You must be bored at the sight of these threads but please help anyway.
I have 2 sets of friends. I can no longer hover between the 2. On one path, I have to go to parties every night and get wasted etc all of last year (gcse’s). However, as time has worn on I have realised that these people aren’t really nice at all and they bitch about each other all the damn time/do horrible things to each other. However, with them I have a good social status. BUT, I’m not happy with this as I’m not myself when I’m with them. I’m a raving macho lunatic which I’m quite ashamed of. Also, with the pressures of having to attend every party (from m8s) I know that I may not manage to get my AAA in the Alevels to let me study law.
On the other hand, my other mates are the academic type who have fun and work hard. I’m much happier with them but I will get no popularity. (but I will have a great set of m8s who will do nothing to harm me) with this road I realise that I can get my good career and money but I’m still really confused. Confused as ****. I mean, I really want to succeed but I just don’t want to be seen as a average joe in the college society.

What will happen in the future if I go to path A or B?

this IS a life changing choice.

Reply 1

The Bishman

8

If you think being popular is worth more than having a good job in the future while the rest of these people end up working in McDonalds, choose A.

If you want to go on to a better future with potentially better paying jobs and life, choose B.

Popularity means nothing as you get older anyway, it won't help your future and certainly won't make your grades get magically better.

Reply 2

decoy

Yeah what's to be confused about, do you want to chance not getting to do what you want in future or do you want people to think you're cool?

At the end of the day it should only matter what your friends think of you. So what you might not be popular, but you'll gain friends who mean something to you and you to them. The first group of people don't sound too nice, bitching all the time is pathetic.

I'd go with the second group, you can still study, get your grades, do law at university and still go out and have fun.

Sounds simple enough to me.

Reply 3

sherunsaway

2

bishman

If you think being popular is worth more than having a good job in the future while the rest of these people end up working in McDonalds, choose A.

If you want to go on to a better future with potentially better paying jobs and life, choose B.

Popularity means nothing as you get older anyway, it won't help your future and certainly won't make your grades get magically better.

I wouldn't say that's necessarily true all the time. I think a significant part of one's success as an adult is based on the friendships that one builds and it is important not to completely shun popularity for the sake of academic achievement. The two can, and should be very easily be balanced in my opinion.

Reply 4

The Bishman

8

sherunsaway

I wouldn't say that's necessarily true all the time. I think a significant part of one's success as an adult is based on the friendships that one builds and it is important not to completely shun popularity for the sake of academic achievement. The two can, and should be very easily be balanced in my opinion.

Yes, but the way the OP is phrasing the issue, it seems he has a choice of one or the other.

Reply 5

Angelil

19

I can't believe you're even asking this question.

Come on, you're not that stupid. You know the answer.

Reply 6

8urtay

sherunsaway

I wouldn't say that's necessarily true all the time. I think a significant part of one's success as an adult is based on the friendships that one builds and it is important not to completely shun popularity for the sake of academic achievement. The two can, and should be very easily be balanced in my opinion.

Yea but then you could argue that choosing the more academic set of friends will create stronger relationships and because these people are more likely to succeed in the future, the potential job oppurtunities as an adult will be significantly greater.

but yea they can be easily balanced IMO

Reply 7

lea164

which option would make you happier? choose it.

Reply 8

Bismarck

13

To put it bluntly, stupidity isn't popular. No one in uni will know how popular you were in school (nor will most people care). I think you'll find that you'll be far more popular in the long-term if you get a good degree and job.

Reply 9

devils_nose

10

And you have to choose between the 2 groups, why?? :confused:

Anyway, you clearly don't like group A, I'd say that makes the choice easy!!

Reply 10

~the_one~

1

I disagree about this being a life changing choice, it really isnt. Your grades and your future are in your own hands, regardless of who you hang around with and what you do with your friends. As long as you have that driev to suceed in your head it doesnt matter if you turn into a nutter at weekends as long as you know when to stop and start working.

I've got two groups of friends exactly how you described, and i've been friends with all of them for the 5 years of school really. i have my clever friends who i go to gallerys/lectures and debate with, and i go raving with , as i've gotten older these groups tend to mix.
However you've mentioned group A arent nice and are bitchy - so ditch them. One thing i've learnt in life, do not waste your time with idiots, just don't, spent time with people you actually like!

Reply 11

notontsranymore

OP

thanks for being so supportive. i have to choose because by hanging out with both groups i'm creating insecurity within myself and also a whole lot of other things too. i want loads of insight and some personal experiences would be nice.

Reply 12

devils_nose

10

TopCat06

thanks be being so supportive. i have to choose because by hanging out with both groups i'm creating insecurity within myself and also a whole lot of other things too. i want loads of insight and some personal experiences would be nice.

well, my personal experience is that I found is relatively easy to maintain friendships with more than one group of people through school and that I benefitted a great deal from doing so, socially. If it is stressing you out though then definitely go with the geeks, you say they have fun but work hard too - sounds like the perfect combination!! You will do your insecurities no good by hanging around with bitchy people who you don't even like. You'll have to ditch your partying lifestyle sooner or later if you want your AAA (unless you are a complete genius)

Reply 13

randomgirl

14

You've answered this for yourself. Would you rather be unhappy and "popular" or happy and "unpopular"?

Happiness is far more important, forget all that superficial crap.

Reply 14

Vesta

18

You're basically trying to decide between happiness & academic excellence or popularity.

If you're unhappy but popular, it sucks.
If you're happy, you wouldn't care if you're popular.

Read over your post. By the looks of it, it sounds like you've already subconciously made up your mind.

Reply 15

notontsranymore

OP

hmm 'academic excellence'. that has a nice ring :d . nice one vesta. they're not exactly geeks tbh though, so don't stereotype. just really caring and interesting ppl. like when my dad had cancer, they were the ones who made the effort to make sure i felt ok. so, yeah i have chosen.

Reply 16

notontsranymore

OP

more personal experiences would be nice. i guess i'm just bored :d

Reply 17

coloursonthetv

1

TopCat06

when my dad had cancer, they were the ones who made the effort to make sure i felt ok

Regardless of which friends helped, whether it was the popular ones or the smarter ones the potential was there for them both to help the same so I'd definitely favour the ones that were a good mates. Unfortunately they don't all sound to be like good mates let alone influences.

It's a shame how some people still feel the need to chose when they're actually doing AS/A levels, is your sixth form part of your secondary school? If it is then maybe that explains it. My college was seperate and there were no popular people and I never once saw anyone be subjected to bullying in the whole two years I spent there.

Reply 18

notontsranymore

OP

coloursonthetv

Regardless of which friends helped, whether it was the popular ones or the smarter ones the potential was there for them both to help the same so I'd definitely favour the ones that were a good mates. Unfortunately they don't all sound to be like good mates let alone influences.

It's a shame how some people still feel the need to chose when they're actually doing AS/A levels, is your sixth form part of your secondary school? If it is then maybe that explains it. My college was seperate and there were no popular people and I never once saw anyone be subjected to bullying in the whole two years I spent there.

the popular ones knew which was why i was so pissed off when they did nothing even though we all claim to be best m8s. theres no bullying but i want to cling on to my status (sounds gay i know) but you guys have made me realise that choosing the good m8s way is the best.
btw, its a new college but a lot of people from my old school are going so this explains it.

Reply 19

spark911

**** popularity, no one will know or care about it when youre at uni. Do what you value most. 2 years of popularity. Or 3 years studying law at a uni you want to.

Which way should I go?

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