I'm starting my second year of university, and I'm already missing the introductory lectures. Last year I only attended around 30% of the schedules (this also includes seminars, etc), and got a grade of about 70%. We had a workshop every week, and I didn't even go to one of them. Obviously I didn't get a higher overall grade because I missed some information from the lectures, but in all honesty I don't see why they couldn't have added that stuff on the slides when they upload them online.
I sort of find it amazing that there were other people on the course who may have gone to all of the lectures, etc, and achieved a worse grade than me - when I put in a fraction of their physical time. 70% isn't brilliant but it's not bad. I also wonder if I am the first person to ever not go to a particular schedule for the whole academic year.
Obviously I want to go to lectures and be normal though.
I just cant. I hate them. I always want to be alone in a lecture so I can concentrate properly, but this brings me the anxiety of choosing a place to sit; I have to come in slightly late so I can choose an isolated seat where I don't think I am disturbing people or where I think others will sit by me.
Then there's the anxiety of people looking around; I usually only take notes of the really important stuff and just listen for most of it, so I get the sense that people are wondering why I am not writing anything because I usually just sit there.
I also hate the breaks and discussions. When the lecturer stops the class for five minutes to say 'Have a chat with the people sitting next to you about ___'. I've walked out of lectures where they do that every 10 minutes. I never smoked before university, but now I use that 15 minute break in between a long lecture to smoke because there is nothing else for me to do.
It's really getting me down because I want to do well but I feel as though I can't.