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    I've started a new school for sixth form and I don't really know how I got in, they look at your predicted grades only to accept you at their school and I gave mine in early where as my friend (who has exactly the same grades as me) gave it in a little later but not that late. So I feel like they don't care too much about your grades but more like whoever gives it in first (timing.) I made a few friends who were also new at the beginning but then they kind of went with others and formed a new bigger group and I had this one girl who was also new but had two or three friends from her old school at this school, and I get along with her but I feel like she thinks I'm a loner and so doesn't try as hard as she used to to find me at break and lunch or something. Even in my bio and chem class people have their own groups and its awkward being alone and when we do practicals I know that people don't really want to be with me they want to be with their friends and obviously that makes me feel awful about myself.Its getting depressing even more, I can never meet up with my old friends as they live so far away from where I am, my boyfriend's dad passed away from a serious illness and his uncle committed suicide and so many other family problems so we haven't had much time together, there's hardly anyone to talk to....I'd really appreciate your advice, anything would help at the moment
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    (Original post by clarailamp)
    I've started a new school for sixth form and I don't really know how I got in, they look at your predicted grades only to accept you at their school and I gave mine in early where as my friend (who has exactly the same grades as me) gave it in a little later but not that late. So I feel like they don't care too much about your grades but more like whoever gives it in first (timing.) I made a few friends who were also new at the beginning but then they kind of went with others and formed a new bigger group and I had this one girl who was also new but had two or three friends from her old school at this school, and I get along with her but I feel like she thinks I'm a loner and so doesn't try as hard as she used to to find me at break and lunch or something. Even in my bio and chem class people have their own groups and its awkward being alone and when we do practicals I know that people don't really want to be with me they want to be with their friends and obviously that makes me feel awful about myself.Its getting depressing even more, I can never meet up with my old friends as they live so far away from where I am, my boyfriend's dad passed away from a serious illness and his uncle committed suicide and so many other family problems so we haven't had much time together, there's hardly anyone to talk to....I'd really appreciate your advice, anything would help at the moment
    Have you tried speaking to any of the teachers in the sixth form?
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    You cant make people like you.
    Schools tend to be tribal, so thats why you get cliques.
    Are there any societies/ acivities you cna join where you get to interact with others?
    Hard to do but please dont worry. remain open and sociable, but dont let them know you get worried about things.
    Worse thing you can do is get paranoid.

    Is this a prestigious sixth form? If so focus on your studies your A levels are the key to everything and not friends you make. get the best grades you cna and it will be worth it.

    Talk to your teacher or school counselor, especially about any worries you have over your bfs predicament. its a lot to deal with. Dont break down or you will just give them ammunition.

    Hang in there. Sorry I cant be more helpful.
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    Reality is it might not get better for you. The biggest personal regret in my life still some 6 years later is choosing a new sixth form because it was deemed to be more prestigious for medicine, but I never considered the fact that I was leaving all my good friends behind in the old one and that the new one could be full of a load of *******s, which it was. All in all it made for a pretty depressing 2 years, the first wasn't so bad but coupled with uni stresses in the second year, and the general angst of being a teenager still finding themselves it made life pretty tough.*

    It does get better afterwards at uni if you go there as the people are far more open in general, but that's no consolation for you. Though in some of my classes I had one or two people I got along with fine, I didn't make any perma friends I hung around with outside of class (partly due to not sharing more than one class with anyone), and in one subject I was pretty much excluded from any groups, surrounded by idiots and all in all had a miserable time of it. It went on like that for a year, and I've seen others in that situation too and it's not a good one as the longer it goes on the harder it's too resolve.*

    This probably isn't great advice, but mine would be as follows - 1) Try and find other people who aren't in a group, and tentatively work with them on group projects. Or just sit next to them in class if there's space. I wish I had done that in the lesson where I was by myself, as there were a few spaces next to others elsewhere. Though obviously this one's tough as it requires you to be proactive, and it's always a nervy thing to go upto randomers unless you're confident with that sort of thing.*
    2) I'd recommend this more than anything - it's what I really wish teachers would take more note of and really the few cases I've noticed teachers taking active note of it really highlights the difference between good and bad teachers. Shoot your teacher/s an email in whichever class you're struggling with people in, and just explain that you have no one to work with in group projects / general work, and would he kindly advise on what to do or potentially chose partners for some of the group projects so that you get to meet / work with new people. If they're anything worth their salt they should be more than happy to help, and a supportive teacher on your side can make the world of difference.

    Let me know if that helps or not, I'd definitely recommend considering shooting an email to the teacher, I'd be happy to write you a reasonable email to send if you wish too (though don't get on here often sadly so might not reply right away).*
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    I feel like they'll just make me go into clubs which have the same environment as the classes I have as people go to clubs at school with their friends and would want to only talk between themselves.
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    Wow, I really do appreciate the fact that you've taken some time out of your busy life to help me. I needed someone to give me proper advice and understand where I'm coming from rather than just "go be sociable andfind friends."
    It's been 4 weeks and I'm still feeling on the edge about it all. Maybe it's also the fact that now I have to start working hard everyday after school and I just had 2 and a half months of holiday watching movies, going out with my old friends and spending one month in sri lanka which I miss so much. Ican't stop thinking that I wish it could be those times again even though I force myself not to.
    Anyway, yes, so my parents really forced me to go to this school cause apparently its a good school but I have talked to them before and they are no help. I also feel bad because my parents really do work hard just for my education and they never had the things that I had.
    So because you felt depressed during those 2 years, did that distract you from your a levels? And in the second year did you not find any friends to chill with?

    Yeah my sister goes uni and she absolutely hates leeds as its far away from home and she just feels like all she does in her life is work and stress. Yeah how do you make friends when you're only in one class with them and they make other friends in their other classes and you don't know them at all. And then they realise you're a "loner" and don't want people to see you with them. When you said that in one subject you were excluded from any groups, surrounded by idiots that's exactly me in my biology class and the girl who sits next to me doesn't ever try to make convo with me and gives me blunt answers where as with all her other friends that sit on the opposite side of the room, she talks to them alot.

    So did you meet up with your old friends alot and did that help?

    Your advice is very much needed so yes, it is great advice. Many people are already in their little groups in class as all these people hang out together during lunch.
    Thank you for your second advice! I just hope that they won't get me a councellor or something or tell the people in my class that I'm feeling lonely so "can you go work with her" as that is quite humiliating. You're right, I really do need teachers to help me but I'm those kind of people who never asks teachers because sometimes they ask questions that you have no idea how to answer them..

    I would love your help right now please, a drafft email would be so kind of you asI'm not too sure how to word it! Oh no, I really want you on here all the time I'd feel so much better
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    I'm not making them like me, I'm still being myself and talking enough.
    There's debating clubs and stuff but people go with their groups and stuff so its hard to talk to them and I find it hard to get my point across in debates.
    I get paranoid whenever people glance when Im alone and stuff so its not that easy to stop that feelng.

    Yes, I am trying to do more work to distract myself but being pretty depressed about my social life still distracts my learning like I study in this horrible groggy mood.

    I don't know what they would do about this problem, I don't want them to put me into some support group or anything its just problems in lessons.
    But thank you so much for your advice, it was very much needed
 
 
 
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