Not talking to my grandma she is a toxic person. Watch

Anonymous1502
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I love my grandma so much but I go to her each year for 1 month she is really good to me but I don't want to talk to her as she is toxic.I am someone who struggles with feeling worthy and believing that I am good enough to be loved etc (self-esteem struggles).She manages each time to convince me that my step-father doesn't love me and that he doesn't see my as his own which he claims he does.Which then gives me have a hard time as I struggle internally with my thoughts and then am burned out emotionally as I believe her and what she says of course isn't true.I love her but I can't go through another emotional burn out.I will maybe stick with small talk such as hello how was your day I love you etc.
0
reply
Rum Ham
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
Currently going through the same with my own gran at the moment. I love her with all my heart but she brings me down and I've had to take a step back from her for a bit for my own health and happiness. She wont support my wedding, she criticises what I look like, what I choose to do with my life, always casts up that I don't want kids and has said some nasty things regarding my health. I'm her only grandchild so she has super high expectations of me.

I know how stressful and hurtful a situation like this can be and you're right, it does burn you out. I think its essential to take some time out from toxic people, even if they are family, for your own wellbeing. Sometimes a few days of a break is enough and sometimes it has to be longer but you'll know what is best. I hope one day you are able to sit down and talk to your gran though and hopefully work things out.
2
reply
Sternumator
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous1502)
I love my grandma so much but I go to her each year for 1 month she is really good to me but I don't want to talk to her as she is toxic.I am someone who struggles with feeling worthy and believing that I am good enough to be loved etc (self-esteem struggles).She manages each time to convince me that my step-father doesn't love me and that he doesn't see my as his own which he claims he does.Which then gives me have a hard time as I struggle internally with my thoughts and then am burned out emotionally as I believe her and what she says of course isn't true.I love her but I can't go through another emotional burn out.I will maybe stick with small talk such as hello how was your day I love you etc.
Therapists can help with this. You need to work on your self esteem issues.

People like your grandma, feed on weakness but they only have the power to hurt you if you let them.

If you want a relationship with your Gran, it needs to be on your terms.

You need to be strong enough to confront her about her behaviour and be clear that you will not stand for it. If she oversteps boundaries, there must be consequences.

You need to teach her that if she wants a relationship with you, she cannot treat you like she does now.

But if you don't feel strong enough for that yet, you should keep distance and work on your own issues.
1
reply
Anonymous1502
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by Spock's Socks)
Currently going through the same with my own gran at the moment. I love her with all my heart but she brings me down and I've had to take a step back from her for a bit for my own health and happiness. She wont support my wedding, she criticises what I look like, what I choose to do with my life, always casts up that I don't want kids and has said some nasty things regarding my health. I'm her only grandchild so she has super high expectations of me.

I know how stressful and hurtful a situation like this can be and you're right, it does burn you out. I think its essential to take some time out from toxic people, even if they are family, for your own wellbeing. Sometimes a few days of a break is enough and sometimes it has to be longer but you'll know what is best. I hope one day you are able to sit down and talk to your gran though and hopefully work things out.
Another thing is that I am very ambitious and get easily stressed out and she doesn't understand that part of my success is crying as it helps me calm down and I may cry because I am struggling with something but this doesn't mean I need to be less ambitious and have lower expectations but work harder and continue as my philosophy in life is if you do what is hard you will have an easy life.
0
reply
Anonymous1502
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#5
(Original post by Spock's Socks)
Currently going through the same with my own gran at the moment. I love her with all my heart but she brings me down and I've had to take a step back from her for a bit for my own health and happiness. She wont support my wedding, she criticises what I look like, what I choose to do with my life, always casts up that I don't want kids and has said some nasty things regarding my health. I'm her only grandchild so she has super high expectations of me.

I know how stressful and hurtful a situation like this can be and you're right, it does burn you out. I think its essential to take some time out from toxic people, even if they are family, for your own wellbeing. Sometimes a few days of a break is enough and sometimes it has to be longer but you'll know what is best. I hope one day you are able to sit down and talk to your gran though and hopefully work things out.

Another thing is that I am very ambitious and get easily stressed out and she doesn't understand that part of my success is crying as it helps me calm down and I may cry because I am struggling with something but this doesn't mean I need to be less ambitious and have lower expectations but work harder and continue as my philosophy in life is if you do what is hard you will have an easy life.I am never going to put my expectations down because I am stressed because life is not easy and we need to battle through every day with our struggles and face them there will be days where your emotions and ambition gets the better of your emotions but we do not become less ambitious as every day is a new day and we continue and battle through as all battles are lost and won but it doesn't mean that we should give up and not be ambitious.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Brexit: Given the chance now, would you vote leave or remain?

Remain (1065)
79.01%
Leave (283)
20.99%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise