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ssk2
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#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
After like, months of lurking, this is my first ever post! And not to bum everyone out, but this is about problems in my relationship.

The situation is pretty much summed up as; been going out with my girlfriend for 18ish months now and recently I feel as though things are just, not going anywhere. She told me a few weeks back that sometimes she didn't feel, 'loved up' and that 'sometimes we just felt like friends' (we have an ok, not great sex life if I'm being honest). Anyway, she said that she felt 'a lot better with this weight off her', but at the cost of putting me under huge stress!! This is coupled with the fact that on 3 seperate times, she has told her friends that we were having a 'bad patch'.

Now, since all this, I just don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. She's my first real love and it's hard to contemplate letting go but I don't know if I happy anymore. Often I'll feel as though she has very immature streak and I'm just noticing these flaws that just irrate me. For instance, she is very much against me having female friends (to the point of her getting very upset when I don't tell her I have a new female friend that she's never met - I mean, what do I say? I have a friend 'x', you've never met, but this is her name?! She is also critical of my family and has a negative view of ALL of my friends.

I just don't know if I can break up with her though, having never been in this situation before. She can be quite aggressive, whereas I'm very mellow and I just worry that if I was to bring this up she'd get very loud and hysterical.

Basically, I'd like advice on; how I should go about breaking up, whether I should see how things progress (at the sake of my happiness) or I don't know...just comments would be nice!
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I_am_the_mob
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#2
Report 11 years ago
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I don't think you should forsake your happiness for anything
I think if she gets hysterical you should make it a quick break up, tell her straight even though it's hard then get out of there before she has a chance to get aggressive etc
A girlfriend can not like people you are friendly with or your family but she has no right to outright criticise them, they are part of you
I know it's hard to do this for the first time but if you don't you will never get to do it a second time lol
What made you come out of the tsr closet then? And why were you in there in the first place?
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pikaboo
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#3
Report 11 years ago
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This tends to happen a lot around the 18 month mark...the initial 'honeymoon' period of the relationship starts to fade as you are both are more comfortable with each other and at the same time could be taking each other more for granted. Are you the first proper relationship your girlfriend has had? That could explain the irrational jealousy...you're right in that it is immature, but everyone's got to learn and get over that at some point, and it's up to you whether you have the patience to wait it out or cut your losses.

I think you have to decide whether the bad times are outweighing the good, just like in a rocky friendship. Don't stay with her for the sake of her being your 'first love' if it isn't making either of you happy in the long run. You need to be able to see your relationship going somewhere positive otherwise I don't reckon it's worth any amount of hassle.
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lea164
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Report 11 years ago
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It's better to leave your relationship now if this is how you feel, least you can keep the good memories and hopefully still be friends. If you stay with her because you are scared of breaking up with her you'll only start to regret it and resent her in the long run, cue many arguments and splitting on not so amiable terms.
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00-0830-NADINE
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#5
Report 11 years ago
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ummm it also depends on how long you have been feeling like this...if its been a few days, then wait, if its been weeks, its time to move on. why get stuck in a relationship you arent happy in? its not to do with the length, its to do with the person you are with
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