Problem with work collegues + managment :( help please

I just have a huge problem with my managment at work...there are so many thngs on my mind at the moment...firstly im rush typing this as its really early in the morning so if i dont make sense , please dont be harsh or comment nastily.

Ok...i am a really sensitive person and the littlist thing can make me awful and cry and because of my manager being unfair with me im awake till 4am in the morning and im meant to wake later ....i just cant sleep i keep getting horrible nightmares and i just feel wortheless and pointless it sickens me , i feel like self harming but i stop because i know its going to cause me damage as its done in the past, it only causes more problems,,,but its my only outlet to my problems and life.

yesterday and the day before yesterday my manager told me off for standing up and talking to my friend at work, when we were not even busy...i work in a call centre and it was 0.0 calls waiting , i get impatient and bored quite ealy and the worse part is she is the head of department manager , she is like the biggest one out of all the department. I dont wish to stay in the call centre forever , i have a degree to look foward to a new path which i intend to take soon. Now the calls were 0.0 and i went to my collegues for a talk just like my other collegues go and talk to their collegues, why is it that she picks on me always! she never tells off anyone for going on the internet, for talking , i just stood their for 5 minutes and we werent even busy and she starts moaning.
And then my other collegue wanted my advice for some clothing and we were not even busy , i was on my lunch and she wasnt (she as in my collegue who wanted advice) and she tells me off , she took me outside and goes "Sarah* (not my real name) what are you doing , ive told u 3 times (no she hasnt told me 3 times , she has only told me twice) to not talk to other people, this is not school , your at work now , and i expect you be more adult like" i just felt like a kid again ,...she was treating me like a child, i felt so upset all day even if its a minor thing to certain people ...it hurts me ...the thing is im quite hyper, and really quick...like always hyper im always jumpy ,active, im like a spring to put it best. But its people like that make me miserable.

I dont like being controlled. i hate it . i always have. And i wanted to slap her, however i told her , i was on my lunch and we were not even busy, and then she continued to tell me off....and i said sorry in the end, even i shouldnt have ... it just came out , because i was all panicked.

I am just in fear she might sack me... i need the money...im saving for uni and i need to save a lot...but im in fear....after all shes just a human being behind that uniform, shes just called the manager but really she is just really mean.

I dont know how to tackle her always i end up apologising because im worried, panicked or scared, i dont know what else to do. I just would end up crying but i cant show them they are affecting me negatively ...and the worse part is she goes to my father (who works in a different department) and tells him what im doing and then she tells him "im sorry for shouting at your daughter"...sometimes she yells at me in front of people and i get miserably uncomfortable and it hurts my feelings. And then collegues asked me yesterday what happened....(the amount of bitchiness that goes in my office is discusting) i just ignored them and laughed it of, its nothing dont worry.

And as we have different departments that are connected , im the youngest one out of the whole departments and everyones old and miserable and bitchy. I for one am not a bitch, im just friendly...when i started working i was so quiet , i was so nervous and i often had panic attacks at nervous situations, now that ive opened up a bit , problems have started. Maybe i should keep my mouth shut and not speak to anybody.

Also there is this other manager i went to for some problem regarding some accounts, and i volunteered to speak to a different department to resolve a problem, as she was busy ....then she goes to my father "does sarah really know how to do this ,? she shouldnt be doing this" ...etc....and i feel so ****ty because she should be telling me tht, not my father....

everyone talks at work, shouts more like , and nobody gets told of like i do.
And id like to add one more thing , there was this guy at work that was always teasing me and i told my father , and he made me tell the manager , (the same moany one) and she spoke to him and he hasnt teased me since. So i feel he might be behind something to get me into trouble as well.
I didnt mind the teasing, i liked the attention, but im not a snitch, but my father is a different person, he does threat me ...so i got scared and panicked and felt like crap so i told her, now i regret it big time.

i just feel horrible,....and ive been crying since because i cant feel myself , i just feel like im in a box at work and nobodys letting me out ...its really like jail to be honest with you. I dont know what i expect from you guys but i just wanted to get this out of my system. :frown:

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