I've never had trouble making friends in the past but as soon as I come to university I have no 'true' friends. I enrolled for my third and final year today and its suddenly daunt on me that I haven't made any friends for life over the past two years, I feel like I can't speak to anyone about this either. University is supposed to be the 'best years of your life' but I can't wait to finish and go home.. Anyone else feel like this?
I feel so lost and lonely Watch
- Thread Starter
- 28-09-2016 19:57
- 28-09-2016 20:01
I'm I the same situation! You'll be outta there in 6 months. There more to life than "uni"*
- 28-09-2016 20:04
Hey, i'm so sorry to hear this. I suppose that whole Uni experience isn't the be all and end all for everyone. I would suggest you just concentrate on your degree and before you know it you'll be out of there. Unless you might consider a fresh start for your final year at a different Uni? Have you considered that?
- 04-10-2016 21:57
I feel like I'm in the same boat - I just started my second year. I wouldn't say I'm "friends" with my housemates as we didn't get off to the best of starts last year - I was quite homesick and therefore spent a lot of time in my room, which I still do now. Going to your point about having no problems in the past with making friends, that's the same for me. I'm a very shy person but I've been blessed that in the past most of my friendships have been made by people coming up to me as opposed to the other way around. I have tried to make friends here by approaching people but it always seems to fail. I would say that I have one definite friend here but he has other friends that he tends to favour over me. He only really invites me out clubbing which I will occasionally go to but I'd much rather do something else e.g. go to the pub or play pool or something. I tend to sit on my own during lectures unless I see an acquaintance that I sometimes speak to. The thing that upsets me the most is that my parents think that I'm loving uni life and that I have friends. I like some aspects of uni but I'd much rather be at home with people that actually care about me :/. The best thing about uni for me is when I go home to my family and friends.
- 08-10-2016 19:44
The only thing to do is to persist with trying to make contact with people. Don't expect other people to invite you out with them and make all the running. Make a point of doing things for other people- offering a coffee when they've been working hard, sending them a card for Christmas / Birthday, bake them some scones ... anything.
You have to make suggestions to other people about where you can go together - get a coffee, look at the shops, buy a cake for someone's birthday, join a new club, visit an exhibition together. Ask someone for help with choosing a suit, a new hair style - say , I've always admired your taste in clothes can you help me..., Where did you get.... will you come with me to choose one for ...I need some fresh air, let's go for a walk in the park....anyone seen X film no? let's go Friday....
It may be easier if you have a task to perform together - so join a society where eg you are putting on a play, helping provide meals for the destitute, collecting money for the Cats' Shelter , whatever. Social interaction will be natural because you will have something in common.
It is very important you learn to do this sort of thing because you are going to have to make friends with people you don't know more and more in life - every time you change jobs, if you move to another town, start a new course etc. These are life skills which will make you more resilient when real problems occur - and they will.
In a nutshell think about how you can be welcoming and pleasant to other people rather than concentrating on yourself. They may seem fine to you but may be having problems you know nothing about.