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I don't know how to keep going...

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    As long as I can remember, I've had motivational issues and lately I've been unable to get myself to do my school work. I fear that I'm falling into depression and am now struggling to get out of bed on a morning. I am probably going to leave sixth-form or if not - I'll likely get poor grades at A level. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's tearing me apart..
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    Hello. I think a lot of teenagers are like this. My 19 year old son has been like this since the last few years of Primary School. Have had to practically drag him kicking and screaming through his education, even now. If it was up to him he would do **** all but lie in bed, sleep and play X Box with his mates all day. It's only because I don't give him that choice that he is doing what he's doing. Try not to stress about it too much. You are the way you are and sadly, not everyone can be highly motivated in life.
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    You're not going to get better too soon. Take each day one step at a time. Focus on what you're doing and try not to think too much about what you're going to do next, just let it follow naturally. You'll be less worried the less you think of what the future holds.
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    (Original post by SilverActor2033)
    As long as I can remember, I've had motivational issues and lately I've been unable to get myself to do my school work. I fear that I'm falling into depression and am now struggling to get out of bed on a morning. I am probably going to leave sixth-form or if not - I'll likely get poor grades at A level. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's tearing me apart..
    I'd goo see your doctor or a counselor or therapist. It's difficult to pull yourself out of a long term thing without help and especially since you feel like you're reaching a breaking point I think you need that help. Your college/ school should have a free counseling service they refer students to so you can try startin there if you want. Don't be afraid to tell your teachers how you are feeling either. It helped me to tell them so they knew what was going on and I had less pressure on me.

    This sounds rather a lot like how I was at the start of college and I thought it was just cos I was a teenager and that's how teenagers are. After a while though it built up. I ended up with full blown depression. Whatever it started as, if it starts to get overwhealming for you that's when you take a stand and tell yourself that you deserve better and do what you need to to get there. You don't have to do it alone, but the first step is all you. You need to decide when it is you don't want to do it alone anymore. At that point it's time to see a doctor and they will guide you.

    If you're confused and want to get your thoughts straight there are people you can talk things through with like samaritans (phone or e-mail), childline, student support or if you want you can talk to me.
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    (Original post by SilverActor2033)
    As long as I can remember, I've had motivational issues and lately I've been unable to get myself to do my school work. I fear that I'm falling into depression and am now struggling to get out of bed on a morning. I am probably going to leave sixth-form or if not - I'll likely get poor grades at A level. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's tearing me apart..
    I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like this is really causing you bother. A good move would be to visit your GP and see what they say. They could well be able to help you out so you can fulfil your potential
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    (Original post by markova21)
    Hello. I think a lot of teenagers are like this. My 19 year old son has been like this since the last few years of Primary School. Have had to practically drag him kicking and screaming through his education, even now. If it was up to him he would do **** all but lie in bed, sleep and play X Box with his mates all day. It's only because I don't give him that choice that he is doing what he's doing. Try not to stress about it too much. You are the way you are and sadly, not everyone can be highly motivated in life.
    I'm sorry if this seems target at you specifically (I am replying to your post afterall), but this reminds me of a thing that really annoys me. I don't mean to single you out but I just really want to make a point about something.

    A lot of people think it's normal for teenagers to be lazy and feel rough etc and actually yeah it kinda is. Hormones are all over the place and hormones make you feel stuff. BUT just becaus it's normal doesn't mean you don't need help and although people want to reasure others that they aren't alone or crazy, sometimes they need to be told something other that "that's normal" or teenage angst".
    Alos, you can never assume that people are telling you everything. I for one will never open up to somebody until I feel like I can trust them.

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    I had a lot of people when I was a teenager telling me that they knew exactly how I felt or that it was ust being teenage and things like that and when everybody is telling you that you start to believe it. I thought everybody felt the same as me and that I was overreacting. People telling me that I was normal actually made me feel more crazy. Anyway after about two years of that it all got really messy and confusing. I opened up to some people, but nobody really took me seriously. Because nobody else did, it was hard for me to.

    I didn't tell people everything though. How could I when they kept shutting me down? I never told anybody that at nights I stayed awake for hours trapped in my own thoughts or that sometimes I was so desperate I hurt myself. I never told anybody anything until I started thinking about taking my own life.

    All this time people thought I was just lazy or dealing with the normal teenage stuff. They thought I didn't want to take the train to college because it was easier to get a lift- actually it's cos when I stood at the station I couldn't stopthinking about jumping on the tracks. They thought I was late to college cos I was lazy and slept in- actually I couldn't bare to drag myself out of bed but realised if I didn't I wouldn't see the only friend who kept me sane. They thought I was tired because I was out all night drinking- actually I spent the whole night trying to tell myself not to take my life or hurt myself.

    You never know what's going on under the surface and you never will unless you let them tell you. Please never assume that somebody is okay when you have no idea. This post is a lot like the ones I posted when I was desperately trying to get somebody to connect with me and tell me what I needed to hear- "You are not okay." "You need help." "Life should be better than this and it will be... if you get help".

    I eventually got help and now i'm a lot better, but only one person knows how far I got. I can never bare to tell anybody else that they were so unaware of what I was going through. It would break them.

    I don't want anybody else to go through that. I don't want anybody else to feel the pain that I did. But they do and they always will. There will always be a teenager feeling "unmotivated" or "just not right" and there will always be people who have that escalate and become so much more. All I can do is hope that at least some of them can find their voice, be heard and get the help they need, before it turns into something too big for them to handle.


    Please, keep and open mind and treat things like depression as a possibility. Know that there is a lot more to it than what you know. Some of the people I know who seem the most together are actually the most broken. I wish I had learned this sooner.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    I'm sorry if this seems target at you specifically (I am replying to your post afterall), but this reminds me of a thing that really annoys me. I don't mean to single you out but I just really want to make a point about something.

    A lot of people think it's normal for teenagers to be lazy and feel rough etc and actually yeah it kinda is. Hormones are all over the place and hormones make you feel stuff. BUT just becaus it's normal doesn't mean you don't need help and although people want to reasure others that they aren't alone or crazy, sometimes they need to be told something other that "that's normal" or teenage angst".
    Alos, you can never assume that people are telling you everything. I for one will never open up to somebody until I feel like I can trust them.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I had a lot of people when I was a teenager telling me that they knew exactly how I felt or that it was ust being teenage and things like that and when everybody is telling you that you start to believe it. I thought everybody felt the same as me and that I was overreacting. People telling me that I was normal actually made me feel more crazy. Anyway after about two years of that it all got really messy and confusing. I opened up to some people, but nobody really took me seriously. Because nobody else did, it was hard for me to.

    I didn't tell people everything though. How could I when they kept shutting me down? I never told anybody that at nights I stayed awake for hours trapped in my own thoughts or that sometimes I was so desperate I hurt myself. I never told anybody anything until I started thinking about taking my own life.

    All this time people thought I was just lazy or dealing with the normal teenage stuff. They thought I didn't want to take the train to college because it was easier to get a lift- actually it's cos when I stood at the station I couldn't stopthinking about jumping on the tracks. They thought I was late to college cos I was lazy and slept in- actually I couldn't bare to drag myself out of bed but realised if I didn't I wouldn't see the only friend who kept me sane. They thought I was tired because I was out all night drinking- actually I spent the whole night trying to tell myself not to take my life or hurt myself.

    You never know what's going on under the surface and you never will unless you let them tell you. Please never assume that somebody is okay when you have no idea. This post is a lot like the ones I posted when I was desperately trying to get somebody to connect with me and tell me what I needed to hear- "You are not okay." "You need help." "Life should be better than this and it will be... if you get help".

    I eventually got help and now i'm a lot better, but only one person knows how far I got. I can never bare to tell anybody else that they were so unaware of what I was going through. It would break them.

    I don't want anybody else to go through that. I don't want anybody else to feel the pain that I did. But they do and they always will. There will always be a teenager feeling "unmotivated" or "just not right" and there will always be people who have that escalate and become so much more. All I can do is hope that at least some of them can find their voice, be heard and get the help they need, before it turns into something too big for them to handle.
    Please, keep and open mind and treat things like depression as a possibility. Know that there is a lot more to it than what you know. Some of the people I know who seem the most together are actually the most broken. I wish I had learned this sooner.
    Thank you for sharing that with us. I am very,very aware of any signs of depression my son may have. I have been on anti depressants for over 20 years and my son's father committed suicide when our son was ten. I walked into his father's house as no-one had heard from him for a few days and found him lay on top of his bed, ice cold and as hard as a piece of stone. He not only suffered from manic depression for most of his adult life but was a chronic alcoholic too. He was 52 when he died. He was in MENSA, but even when he was in good form, which could last for a few months, he was incredibly lazy. Did his last day's work on some building site in London when he was about 24. My son, sadly seems to have inherited his father's lazy characteristic. To be honest, as long as he is happy, and doesn't feel the need to suppress his emotions with alcohol like his father did [although he smokes weed every day], but he's doing OK. His dad used to hit me in front of our son, and once or twice he hit our son as well, over something really trivial. When our son was seven he and his dad were involved in a bad car crash that could have ended tragically had they not been in a huge wedding type Jaguar with a very large front bonnet. His dad lost control of the car, and instead of braking, accelerated at 50 MPH straight into a wall. His dad broke his nose, and our son broke his collarbone. I saw the X RAY and it was gross. His collarbone was completely snapped in two. Twelve years on and he still suffers with agonising pain in his collarbone when the weather is bad. But yes, I'm very conscious of watching out for any potential mental health problems with my son. Thankfully he seems happy enough and is thinking about applying to Uni to enter into the second year next year after his HND has finished. I just want him to be happy and well. He didn't have the easiest of childhoods I guess. But his laziness levels are something else at times !!
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    (Original post by markova21)
    Thank you for sharing that with us. I am very,very aware of any signs of depression my son may have. I have been on anti depressants for over 20 years and my son's father committed suicide when our son was ten. I walked into his father's house as no-one had heard from him for a few days and found him lay on top of his bed, ice cold and as hard as a piece of stone. He not only suffered from manic depression for most of his adult life but was a chronic alcoholic too. He was 52 when he died. He was in MENSA, but even when he was in good form, which could last for a few months, he was incredibly lazy. Did his last day's work on some building site in London when he was about 24. My son, sadly seems to have inherited his father's lazy characteristic. To be honest, as long as he is happy, and doesn't feel the need to suppress his emotions with alcohol like his father did [although he smokes weed every day], but he's doing OK. His dad used to hit me in front of our son, and once or twice he hit our son as well, over something really trivial. When our son was seven he and his dad were involved in a bad car crash that could have ended tragically had they not been in a huge wedding type Jaguar with a very large front bonnet. His dad lost control of the car, and instead of braking, accelerated at 50 MPH straight into a wall. His dad broke his nose, and our son broke his collarbone. I saw the X RAY and it was gross. His collarbone was completely snapped in two. Twelve years on and he still suffers with agonising pain in his collarbone when the weather is bad. But yes, I'm very conscious of watching out for any potential mental health problems with my son. Thankfully he seems happy enough and is thinking about applying to Uni to enter into the second year next year after his HND has finished. I just want him to be happy and well. He didn't have the easiest of childhoods I guess. But his laziness levels are something else at times !!
    I'm sorry to hear about the hardships you and your family have gone through. I appreciate you sharing as I am sure it is emotional for you.
    I hope I did not offend you in my previous post and I was not trying to comment on you as a mother especially. You sound like you care a lot about your son and his wellbeing.

    I only quoted your post to show the context to mine as it reminds me of other attitudes and it is something I feel strongly about. It was aiming to get people to think about the potential of other things behind the scenes as I feel like a lot of people judge teenagers very quicky and don't necessarily teat them as they would an adult. They seem to think that they should be able to take on all the responsibilites of adults, but also assume they have a naieve child-like view of the world still. A lot of the time it seems asthough people see mental health as an adults condition and that teenagers couldn't be stresse dor depressed as they don't have to face "adult problems".

    This does not apply to everybody though and just as there can be things you don't know about people's issues, there is also more to you and others than I can know. I was not trying to make an assumption about you personally and am sorry if it sounded that way.

    Also sorry OP for kinda derailing your thread a bit.
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    Anyone got any advice at all?

    Im slowly falling behind in my work with most of my subjects and im really worried that its going to snowball rapidly while i just fall behind even more even quicker. I'm trying my hardest to keep going and understand it but nothing is staying inside head. Its got so bad im not eating or sleeping properly with me worrying so much and im beginning to lose my hair at 16.

    Its getting to the point now where im questionning everything i do seem to understand. At my Secondary School I was Top of the class in all of my subjects in which i came out with 4A's 3B's and 3C's and now at A level coming from a school that failed its Ofsted report im in an ofsted oustanding school and dead bottom of everything. Ive lost all confidence in my abilities and just need some genuine help before i crash and burn completely.
 
 
 
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Updated: October 6, 2016
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