Bf admitted to fancying another Woman

My boyfriend admitted he finds this girl ‘very attractive’ and has ‘been tempted (he added the words, who wouldn’t on the end!!) He also said he fancies her. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but this girl really is a stunner. It’s gotten me to thinking ‘what does she have that I don’t’ and of course the old question ‘does he think shes better looking than me’

We have been going thought some issues lately and I think this has got him thinking he’s with the wrong person.

I know he ‘must love me as he’s with me’ and all that (well for the moment he is) , but it doesn’t help he sends a lot of his time with this girl as they work together; he has to ‘train’ her so he sits next to her all day! He also sees quite a bit of her in social settings outside of work (not just her, as a ‘team’ thing) (I also work there - but in another department)

I think for a while, I’m always going to be thinking about it, and it will bother me a little. I mean obviously he must like other woman, but he’s not told me before. Some things are better left unsaid and all that.

Should I be worried? Or should I just forget about it?

Reply 1

silverbolt

19

the fact that he admitted it is actually a good thing methinks.

Its always natural to find other people attractive, its what we humans do. Society makes us monogomous, nature did not intend to be thus and all that malarcy

Reply 2

Hayley_2k4

OP

12

Cadre_Of_Storms

the fact that he admitted it is actually a good thing methinks.

Its always natural to find other people attractive, its what we humans do. Society makes us monogomous, nature did not intend to be thus and all that malarcy

he only told as we were having a fight at the time :p:

Reply 3

ßlαcksωαn

17

I'd tell him how you feel uncomfortable him spending so much time with her.

He also said he fancies her. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but this girl really is a stunner.

there is always going to be someone prettier than yourself, and it's fine for him to think other chicks are hot. But comments like, "Ive been tempted" are just wrong and he should have never said that to you. I'd be pissed if you.

Reply 4

dita_parlo

11

Ditto. I would be really really wound up if my boyfriend told me he was "tempted" by some other woman.

Reply 5

Anannya

8

Attraction towards another member of the opposite sex is fine but I agree with the above two posts that no one should say stuffs like I was tempted to do something. I mean what's the point in saying that?? Since he mentioned it during a fight what is he trying to say exactly........that he has other options open so that you can't fight with him or you should worship him? Have an open discussion about it and see how he reacts.

:tee:

Reply 6

instigator

He's clearly not the brightest of people, it's fairly obvious it's best not to mention some things....

Reply 7

bunthulhu

14

Of course it's normal to find other people attractive in a relationship, but I think if he's actually tempted then that's more worrying. It sounds like he told you out of spite as well. I would be supremely unhappy about the whole thing if I were in your shoes. Having said that, I'm not too sure what you can do about it, except to try and fix your relationship. This, unfortunately, is something I can't advise on, as I never could do it myself! :frown:

instigator

He's clearly not the brightest of people, it's fairly obvious it's best not to mention some things....

Not telling her wouldn't have changed the fact that it's a problem.

Reply 8

JC.

19

I dont think being tempted is worrying at all if you are the sort of person that has the balls to resist.
Is he?

Reply 9

bunthulhu

14

JC.

I dont think being tempted is worrying at all if you are the sort of person that has the balls to resist.
Is he?

Do you mean tempted in the sense of being propositioned, or as in genuinely wanting to cheat on his partner?

Reply 10

The Bishman

8

bunthulhu

Do you mean tempted in the sense of being propositioned, or as in genuinely wanting to cheat on his partner?

Wanting to cheat on his partner is not being tempted, that happens after being tempted and is a concious decision to cheat.

I think him being honest with you is good, after all he is with you and not anyone else. You said you don't like him being around her, well it seems he hasn't got much choice if he has to work with her and train her, the same with team things, hes entitled to have his own friends and spend time with them.

Reply 11

PhilMc

16

To be honest everyone does. People would be lying if they said they didn't.

So don't worry. I do admit the way he worded wasn't the smartest - but hey!

Reply 12

suicidal_dream

1

ever thought that he might've only said he's been 'tempted' cos you were arguing... as he knew it would probably wind you up?

sure he may fancy her and to be honest, how many people can HONESTLY say they've never looked at someone else, despite being in a relationship and thought 'they're hot!'

Reply 13

supernova2

11

dont worry, the grass is always greener on the other side. If he was with her hed probably fancy you.

Reply 14

Consie

15

Its always natural to find other people attractive, its what we humans do. Society makes us monogomous, nature did not intend to be thus and all that malarcy

But humans are a product of nature, and then they created their own society, so surely nature did mean for it, given the society which sprung from human's concious mind was originally formed in nature?

Reply 15

randomgirl

14

Any chance he is saying this to "keep you on your toes" so to speak? Mens minds work in mysterious ways :p:

Maybe he wants to make you feel kinda jealous, and therefore show him your affection/love more? I don't know, it's just the vibe I got from it really.

As you said yourself, you are the girl he is with. Plus, why would he tell you about her if he was seeing her or whatever? Surely he'd keep schtum about her existence..?

Reply 16

Magnanimity

14

I believe it's okay for a boyfriend to find other women attractive. I find other men attractive but I love my boyfriend very much. It's comments like he's "been tempted" that would piss me off.

However, considering you were fighting, he might (probably) just have said it to make you worry.

If he really had ANY intention of doing anything about this, he wouldn't be telling you!

Reply 17

Hayley_2k4

OP

12

Thank all! I feel better now :smile:

Maybe it is a good thing he told me (even if it was out of spite) and at the end of the day, this girl is a stunner but I'm sure he wouldn't do anything.

Reply 18

Consie

15

Am i the only lad who didnt really find other girls attractive/didnt look at other girls when i had a girlfriend? I just lost interest in other girls really when i had 'my own'.

Reply 19

bunthulhu

14

Consie

Am i the only lad who didnt really find other girls attractive/didnt look at other girls when i had a girlfriend? I just lost interest in other girls really when i had 'my own'.

Aww, it's nice to hear a guy say that :smile:

I was the same with my ex and other guys.

Bf admitted to fancying another Woman

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